VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - Dim the Lights [Ep. 5 v1.0] [Naughty Cat Entertainment]

This story is boring, written poorly, is barely in english and about a glorified sex offender. Instead of breaking down the "story" here's a list of issues I pointed out and I dislike this so much I can't be bothered to put them in a decent stream of consciousness. The "story" is rich guy goes home and that's about it? He buys businesses and investigates his foster father that is never home, spoiler alert, he has a second family.

MC looks like a guy you want to hit in the face, repeatedly.
Opens with a monologue of MC saying he's leaving a girlfriend but wants to keep the long distance thing and immediately picks up a random woman, treats her like eye candy, and spies on her in the shower. And every line is a cheap love guru type of pickup line. AND instead of helping her get her wallet/car he just takes her across country.
Every line from Kate is "I'm so thirsty for this, the most attractive human I've ever seen and I have to repeat it ad nauseum to you the reader.
The english is terrible. "eventhough" "eventough" "are you born in here?" theres text speak like "ffs"
MC: "I can't cheat on my girlfriend but i'll sleep mostly naked next to a strange woman and when she's asleep (with all the lights on?) I'll ASSAULT THIS WOMAN IN HER SLEEP" Totally normal thought process...
EVERY OTHER LINE is "god she's so hot" or "Look at her, im drooling" or "What about my girlfriend I shouldn't think like that" then he does it anyway
Having to listen to two characters spit half assed compliments at each other then each one of them has an internal monologue about how much lust they have for the other character is no less than torture.
There's a scene MC visits a grave to create empathy but you literally cannot feel anything for the human garbage that is MC
I don't think there are more than a few lines in this that ARE grammatically correct.
It throws around big business terms and large dollar amounts to try to show how rich MC is, it gets annoying as there's nothing new it adds to the story, we get it, he's rich.
This said twilight has a decent story, so...
Whoever wrote this talks about women like breaking in horses, or that they need a man at all times. It's that cringey alpha male/ rich guy lifestyle videos that obviously are people that have never communicated with a real person before type vibe.
Every sexual or intimate moment MC has is only with heavily intoxicated women and any amount of romance is a joke

Do yourself a favor and skip this kinetic novel

What to say witouth spoilers....mm is hard bcs the story is ok at must,the renders are good but like someone says they miss life,but the big problem here is that is an actually kinetic novel and thats it you follow the life of another rich kid with deaad parents with a second family who toke care of you and thats it.no good choices or bad ones only yje next render and the next one so,is only a decent 3 for me nothing special here.But if the dev want to change it to aVn i can see myself dragged to support this ,why? bcs still teh full story is un the begginning there are a mystery and a little bit of drama ,etc.But basically dev need to change the idea a little to have more ppl conect with his vision and to do that he only need to chosse to change form the kinetic novel tag to a visiual novel tag ,Gives us choices pls

I honestly was playing this with the lowest expectations possible, but it's actually decent. A fairly good story with good looking models. I mean being an alpha male who gets all the women is nothing new but at least it's done in a good fashion.

- Story: 1/5
An ultra rich post-college guy travels from his apartment to a related-MILF. On his way, he met with a chick at a gas station and without much conversation, she agrees to hop on his car and then she also agrees to stay the night at a hotel. Surprise here, the hotel has only one available bed. They have sex. Our guy reaches his destination and then it is the classic slowly getting well with the big breasted woman story.

- Originality: 1/5
This game has close to zero originality. It follows a pretty much overly used story theme. You can skip all the dialogues without missing anything, because it is very likely that you've already played a few dozens of games with the similar script.

- Renders: 2/5
Renders look a bit good, I'll be honest here. However, there is something fishy here. Plastic? No. Just, unrealistic. They do not look alive at all.

- Sound: ???
I have no idea. I play my games music-muted.

- Playability: 1/5
You do not "play" this one. It is actually a slide-show.

- Performance: 2/5
Just another Ren'Py VN.

- Bugs: ???
It'd be hard to have bugs in a continuous VN.

- Animations: 2/5
The game has some animations. But nothing to remember.

- Voice Acting: ???
None.

- Grammar: 4/5
English is not my mother language but I've not noticed any grammar mistakes.

- Amount of content: 1/5
You can click on auto skip and go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, yet you'd not miss anything.

Good game...All the girls are hot.......Love kate and the chemistry between her and mc..............................thats it.........thats the post................
Good luck to dev......please bbe more frequent!!

Wow, not bad at all. I wasnt expecting too much since this game also only has 3 reviews at this point and I was very close to writing this off as one of those VNs that just fail because of the developers poor english, however after giving this a fair shot, I have to say that this story and overall quality and the writing just get better with each update. The newest one is honestly really quite good and I am definitely keeping my eyes on it. If you yourself like to just enjoy a nice read then I can recommend giving this a try as it is a nice kinetic novel. If you are looking for a lot of choices, or minigames or anything apart from a nice simple read then look elsewhere

i feel like the reviews so far for this game are a bit to harsh, i personally enjoyed it, didnt really see what other people are complaining about dialogoue was good but then again im not a native english speaker so i could be wrong, mc is a good looking billionaire with manners like its not a suprise women fawn over him, renders are good aswell and the story so far is solid enough for me , so i would say give this game a try cuz the effort has been put in

I don't know if English is the devs first language. This AVN definitely reads like it was translated into english though. There are the typical grammatical errors that translated games have and the dialogue is oh so clunky. I've never met someone who speaks with so much exposition and qualifying statements. Actual exchange from the game:
MRS. Skye: "How long have you been dating?"
David: "If I recall correctly 6 or 7 months."
That's not how people talk. Who doesn't recall how long they've been with someone? And just by saying "6 or 7 months" you are saying you don't know exactly. Writing a lot of words doesn't equal good story/dialogue. There are a lot of sections that are just word vomit that could be cleaned up into one or two sentences. I will say the interactions between David and Mrs. Skye are done in a way that conveys a preexisting relationship, but that's also undone by unnecessary expositional dialogue.

That's my main issue with the game. The render are clean and the models look nice. The MC is a good looking adult sized dude but his personality is all over the place. He's kind of a scumbag. The only person that has a consistent personality so far is the first woman you meet in the game.

This game is middle of the road for me. There's nothing done exceptionally well and the writing really gets in the way. If there is any advice I can give to the dev its this: research story structure, character development/
archetypes, and ask yourself if this is how people actually talk. If this is translated, maybe find someone that can interpret what is being said into readable english.

Keep at it and always improve.

This is a rating I'll try to update as the game develops but I can't give it much more than a 3.5.

Don't be surprised if you find handprints on your face or you somehow roll your eyes so far back you start seeing your brain....the amount of cheesiness and forced "poetry" that the MC says to Mrs. Skye is enough to claw your eyes out. There are plenty of ways to show reined adoration but this is just Shakespearean levels of fawning

The overall dialogue is a little choppy and needs a bit of polishing. As of rn, Skye becomes a sorority girl when she sees the MC and the MC acts like a horny high schooler practicing lines he's learned from his AP Lit class. It's almost literally "Stacy's Mom" but in game form

The renders of course speak for themselves. Some models we've seen before but they still hold up very well and the lighting is solid. We're only introduced to 3 people in this intro but the banner promises a ton of visual appeal.

I will definitely stick around this game for the visual appeal and general premise but the dialogue and plot development need to be shored up quite a bit before I can up the rating