VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - Family by Fate [v0.3] [MacroxssZ]

(Reviewing as of version 0.3)
This game has lots of potential, graphics are well done, and story has a good plot.

However story progression and character development is too fast, it feels more like watching a trailer for a movie rather than actually seeing it play out. The characters are jumping to accepting the story developments way too fast. The dev should definitely spend a bit more time with each of the characters, people don't just wake up and accept such situations there has to be a progression as they come to terms and accept what is happening.

Also I want to point out the coloring of the names for some of the characters is very dark and hard to see against the backdrop of the text box. There are some grammar issues, but nothing too detracting from the story.

So this is kind of hard to put anywhere on a scale.

It's got a decent "to the point" story, with pacing that probably make some people feel it's "too fast"

I personally don't mind it, not everyone is a 5star writer and not every project needs a novels worth of story, however a few more "in-between" scenes with character development would have been appreciated


Models are fine, really nothing I'd complain about. Sure there're better out there, but it's not bad at all by any stretch

Some of the character rigging seems a bit stiff, but I've seen waaay worse in that field, and the sex-scenes are quite solid so far, atleast in my opinion.

Overall I have to commend you for doing this well on your first project as well as state that I look forward to your growth as a Renpy-creator and this title in itself

Man I loove the sister. Visuals started below average and then in the middle were really great. Unfortunately towards the end became average again.
For you first game this is impressive. If you *d like a bit more feedback.
Theres no need for his wife (and others) to be that blunt. A bit more subtileness in terms for what she allow and wants or not would create a great atmosphere .

Shows some promise, but fails at too many things:

* Writing is very bad. Within a scene, it is just a seemingly random sequence of clichee sentences, one after the other.
* Scenes switch too fast.
* Story buildup is way too fast and just feels forced. Of course, the "Having a harem with your all-female family" plot is not the most realistic one, but it can be done in some at least somehow believable manner.
* The story itself is good enough that I want to know more. But the narration is so awful and full of clichee that the story is buried under it.

Going strictly off the revamped version is looks much better than the original one. The women are hotter, the Main character looks a lot better and then there’s Emma... mmmm..
It’s worth a second chance so far so good, I think the story will be good enough to make me become a regular and the ladies of course.

Good luck to you.

First of all, this demo is pretty short on content, meaning relationship development and sex. If the little things that are presented are redone with more work, it could be above average, but so far its way below average result.

The characters we know nothing about them, only their appearance, and it is not good, lighting doesnt help. Introducing so many models (cause it is what they are, since we know nothing about them and they dont have more than 1 line of dialogue) doesnt help building up interest either.

Regarding the tags, i would consider Loli, as a sexually attrative girl looking like, or being underage. Those "lolis" are no presented in any sexual way in the demo, so the tag shouldnt be there, maybe under planned.

English needs a lot of cleaning, there are things like rouge (rogue i guess) that could be misspelings, but there are also a lot of things that are just wrong like "A love you"

Overall it looks pre alpha, it fits the expectations set up by the disclaimer. This needs a lot of work, i hope the Dev will be able to make it, but if he is a one man army, this will never achieve "Average".

Character models are poor, and the amount of "content" wouldn't even constitute a rough draft. You get a cookie cutter backstory for your self insert character which you give a name.

Sex scene with with wife in first morning. Go the store, get held up, turns out they were after your long lost brother. Go home, brother's family shows up, end of game. If you turned on "skip unseen text" and toggled the skip button, you would hit that notification in less than 30 seconds.

Unless the author starts cranking out updates like a mad man, I wouldnt pay attention to this for at least another year.

Not a bad setting, although the drama could use a lot of toning down. At times it is like a bad soap opera. Animations OK but could be technically improved, images OK but could also be improved. Looking forward to more and better releases!