And then comes fantasy world and throws all those XX and XY concept into a gray area.
We're talking about games, not the real world.
For example, futas are hermaphrodites by definition, which means they have both sexes and are able to reproduce with herself. How would you fit it inside XX and XY concept? Most futa-world stories presents futa as a mutation that propagates as long as people reproduces with them. Therefore, they cannot be simply XX or XY because, if so, they newborns would not be futas, but ordinary male or female.
Another case, now concerning dongs and pussies: furries. Let's take an antropomorphic hyena as example. Hyenas are widely known for their matriarchal society and the fact that their clitoris are large and comparable to a counterpart penis. So, we expect that a female hyena-morph furry should have a very large penis-like... clitoris. If this is a part of a POV game and a player decides to suck on her large-size clit, is this player gay under your concepts?
We could go further into fantasy world and bring things like aliens, demons, angels, ghosts and many other things that are able to violate the common gender concepts.
And now, bringing it to real world. Pegging and strapons are a thing, and they resemble a cock. If a woman uses it to dominate a man, is it gay under your concepts?