I really appreciate the additional perspectives that this page will allow for. FF&S does an incredible job of taking its readers deep into a brand of kink that is heart-pounding and, in my case, even sleep-depriving. No kidding, I spent last night re-living and re-imagining this story from so many different angles.
Being a writer, I knew I just had to take some time to flesh out some (pun intended) of my thoughts and feelings about what rolled around in my head as I lay there all-night waiting for a sleep that would never come.
Many different scenes danced through my head, but the one that repeated itself over and over again were Melissa’s “interrogations.” I hate to say it, but the reason they kept coming back was because I felt they were all lost opportunities to take this very good VN to a completely different level. In fact, Melissa was a horribly underused character here. If you’re going to use her that way – use her up.
I offer the following short example as a scene that the developer could have used to better portray Bill performing a heart-crushing, dick-hardening breaking of her will.
To revisit the scene, she has come back to the room for a third or fourth time and knows by now exactly what is going to happen there. Bill has her warmed up and pushed forward on the table, taking her from the rear.
Cut to Melissa from the front, she is propped up on her elbows with her hair hanging in her face. Her eyes have a dead distant stare as Bill hammers his cock into her, causing her whole body to rock forward with each hard slap of his pelvis against her ass. She is completely disconnected from what is happening to her body.
A moment later her head lifts a little and her eyes begin to focus. Something is happening. Her body has begun to react on its own to the overly-familiar but incessant pounding in her pussy. It’s a subtle change. Her lips press together.
Cut to Bill from the side, with his hands holding her hips, wrenching them back against him as he shoves his cock into her pink swollen hole. He notices how her head lifts and turns ever so slightly.
“You’re getting ready to cum aren’t you slut?” he asks as Melissa’s neck bows as the illicit feeling grows more intense with each deep thrust.
“You’re trying to sneak an orgasm out of this aren’t you bitch?” Bill barks at the naked woman under him. “You’re getting off on being used like a dirty whore aren’t you?”
Bill gave the woman’s left ass cheek a hard slap, that sounded like a gun going of in the room. “You give me that orgasm slut!” he shouted, slapping her ass a second time just as hard.
Cut to Melissa from the front with her head jerking up, her hair flying wildly from the abrupt motion. Her face is contorted in a way that showed her confusion about the sudden shock of pain assaulting her body, mixing with the intense pleasure she had started to feel.
Bill continues to pound into her as he slaps her left ass cheek and barks again. “Give me that damn orgasm Slut!”
Melissa’s face contorts more, her head drops down again and she begins hammering her hips back against Bill’s cock. “Uh, uh, uh, uh,” she grunts as she pushes her body into both pleasure and pain, desperately trying to reach the release that it demanded from Bill’s cock. “Aaaaahhhhh!!! She begins to wail as she comes to the edge of her climax then explodes in a series of nonsensical grunts and squeals while her body writhes under Bill’s continued assault.
Cut to Bill from the side as he crows, “Goddamn we got a squirter!” as a stream of ejaculate erupts from Melissa’s stuffed and spasming cunt.
Cut to Melissa from the front, Her breath comes in raspy wheezes as her orgasm begins to fade. Bill continues to pound into her and her body goes back to racking against the table with each thrust and her eyes slowly resume their blank distant stare.
Cut to Bill, from the back, his ass cheeks flexing as he prepares to unload his cum into the woman’s sloppy orifice. A lewd slapping sound echoes in the room from the wet bodies come together for the last few times.
“You Sloppy Cunt!” he grunts as he buries himself deep inside her and unloads.
Close up of Bill’s long shiny cock sliding out of Melissa’s well-used, gaping hole. Her juices quickly trickle out bringing the first globs of Bill’s cum with it, running down her inner thigh and dripping in a long white string to the floor below.
Bill takes a staggering step back, completely spent, but admiring his cock’s work.
“Okay, he gasps, you know what to do.
Melissa slowly slides off the table to her knees in front of him and begins to clean his cock with her mouth. After a few moments Bill looks behind her and smirks. “Now, lick up the mess you made on my floor.”
Melissa turns and looks behind her. After a brief pause she says, “Yes sir.” And lowers her lips to slurp up a large glob of cum on the floor. END.
Again, if you’re going to break her – break her.
