next world MC gets summoned to is a inverted-world inhabited by the dark version (or opposite version so Morrigan would be good version) of everyone
Last edited:
Any chance for Celestia pegging?
It's in game already in borthel but Queen could be good for scene with it >///<
It's in game already in borthel but Queen could be good for scene with it >///<
Well as Blackcurrant said "this is dark timeline. One where nothing wents right" So maybe godness of sex from first Universe was defited in this one by some hot female-sobra version?
I Hope so, otherwise i agree that story what we got feels more like first chapter than full story.
But if it's just clever Scarlet plan to fool us all with more antagonist apperences in next updates or dlc then count me in!
@vilgellm
Hey, thanks for the review! Although I think you were a bit quick on the trigger there. A lot of the things you criticized are still largely in development, such as the end of the first arc which is getting a second draft, (currently 15,000 words changed/added). What things would you like to see while everything is still subject to change?
You said the idea could be executed way better, drop a few bullet point suggestions for me to muse over.
Edit: And yes, the game is only about half done, you have to appreciate that the game has only been in development for five months so far. There's tons of 'post-Castle 1' content planned for the game's second arc, such as Bar 4, Boutique 4, Farm 4, Castle 2, 3, 4 and 5
Hey, thanks for the review! Although I think you were a bit quick on the trigger there. A lot of the things you criticized are still largely in development, such as the end of the first arc which is getting a second draft, (currently 15,000 words changed/added). What things would you like to see while everything is still subject to change?
You said the idea could be executed way better, drop a few bullet point suggestions for me to muse over.
Edit: And yes, the game is only about half done, you have to appreciate that the game has only been in development for five months so far. There's tons of 'post-Castle 1' content planned for the game's second arc, such as Bar 4, Boutique 4, Farm 4, Castle 2, 3, 4 and 5
Last edited:
- Nov 13, 2017
- 44
- 32
Scootaloo still needs to lose her virginity.
Maybe a few scenes where you have both Scootaloo and Rainbow, Rarity and Sweetie Belle or Applejack and Apple Bloom together.
Maybe a few scenes where you have both Scootaloo and Rainbow, Rarity and Sweetie Belle or Applejack and Apple Bloom together.
Ah, there will be a second arc?! Then maybe I was too harsh about ending of first, my bad..
You don't have permission to view the spoiler content.
Log in or register now.
I'm 100% sure TwistedScarlett60 will add it later)
A little idea - how about make these talks "random", like Melody from FwB1?
(or just from time to time, like RNG events, "talk" menu will lead to something player didn't choose, like secret dialogue options)
Last edited:
- Nov 13, 2017
- 44
- 32
That's something I think Twistedscarlet also has forgotten. If I remember rightly in the first game, Twilight/Lily tested to see if you could get the girls pregnant and I believe the answer was you couldn't impregnate them (Butter's being an exception due to her alchemy).
If that's the case, how come your guy never mentioned to the Twilight/Lily of this world that this was the case?
If that's the case, how come your guy never mentioned to the Twilight/Lily of this world that this was the case?
Maybe to not get her rid of joy of research ^_^
Isn't this a first thing Twilight gonna check after sex anyways?)
I really liked this update, good story and beautiful art of the city on the castle route, but beyond that I miss "talking" to the characters in their homes (however, this will probably be added in future updates) in addition to the lack of the job option current with only 2 which would be the Farm and the Brothel (but as I said before, it is very likely that some other jobs will be added to the game in the future) and I liked the mechanics of the Brothel job, in which you have to have minimal knowledge of the characters that will appear and that means Your acquaintance with a particular character will determine how much money you will earn
. I actually found something interesting in the Brothel and maybe it's a Bug (who am I kidding and of course it's a bug) if you buy the "host with more" upgrade (I think that's how it's pronounced) that allows you to work in the Brothel but without spending the whole night, you can work infinitely, just work, leave the Brothel and enter and the option to work will appear again
. I actually found something interesting in the Brothel and maybe it's a Bug (who am I kidding and of course it's a bug) if you buy the "host with more" upgrade (I think that's how it's pronounced) that allows you to work in the Brothel but without spending the whole night, you can work infinitely, just work, leave the Brothel and enter and the option to work will appear again
- Apr 23, 2021
- 202
- 131
Oh you jsut reminded me that I theorized that the twist will be that Daybreaker will appear as Queen, not Celestia
You know, now I thought, what if the finale was a little changed
Like not only the could be a bad ending for joining Midnight
But what if there was a dialogue choice after leaving prison, to make Celestia break and turn into Daybreaker at some pint in the finale, before either win or defeat of Nightmare Moon/Midnight?
Like she literally made everythihng worse at the worst crucial time. Forced a situation where Nightmare Moon appears, imprisoned the one who was helping, literally the only reason the team was together and elements/artifacts are still away
What if realising it, Celestia would break and turn into Daybreaker ?
Last edited:
- Nov 13, 2017
- 44
- 32
Or maybe, Luna could let us have a dream where she takes us into Celestia's dream and we have a little threesome with both Daybreaker and Nightmare Moon.
- Apr 23, 2021
- 202
- 131
I'm not sure.
On one hand it would be fake, while both choices would be "real", have a weight. Just like you joining Chrysali's side in FW1
- Jul 13, 2021
- 224
- 798
I somehow missed the update, glad I came back to check just in case
The ending felt a bit fast-paced, but I guess it makes sense given the situation they were in. Also, from the comments it seems you are planning kind of a 2nd arc and quite a bit more content, so I'm looking forward to it!
It's crazy how I'm learning bits and pieces of MLP lore through this game
I'm becoming a brony by proxy...
- Jan 10, 2019
- 161
- 387
I wanted to respond to your earlier question about how the ending may be improved. I apologize in advance as this will be a lengthy response. I'm just an amateur writer myself, so I may not be able to provide a clear solution or specific examples, but I'll do my best. To set the stage, I’ll walk you through my feelings about the game from beginning to end, sharing what I felt as a reader in key moments, and then I'll offer some ideas for improvement.
First, I want to preface that I have mostly been enjoying FWB 2 greatly. It is the top thing I look forward to whenever I check for updates on this site, which shows how positive an impact this game has had on me. You have the makings of a winner on your hands.
I didn’t really have much criticism initially because it felt like the game was setting up the world and still had a long way to go. The very beginning felt a bit disjointed; I was confused about the state of the world and my relation to it in comparison to FWB 1. However, most of my concerns were eventually addressed, and I thoroughly enjoyed every moment of content all the way up to Riku's proper introduction. Everything up to that point felt great, evocative, and highly enjoyable; honestly, I wouldn’t change any of it.
Negative feelings first started to arise with Riku. I thought Skye was great, and I loved her introduction. I don’t have any issues with her character; she is very compelling. Honestly, I wish I had more time to get to know her and help her resolve some kind of conflict, like with the others, to see her and the main character build their own dynamic, separate from Riku. But in Riku's orbit.
My issues stem from Riku herself. This entire arc felt rushed to me. Unlike the others, it seemed like she didn’t have an arc, didn’t grow, didn’t resolve much of anything, she didn't even feel very resistant to signing onto the virtues. I was expecting her to be a self-loathing drunkard wrapped up in angst over lost glory and self-confidence, but... it just kind of came off as, “Hey, I’m assembling a team and I need you specifically. If we win, we can make sports relevant again. You in?” “Yeah, sure, let’s do it.” Quest complete, relationship established. I hate to say it, but it was unsatisfying.
I figured it was something rushed to get it out the door so we could focus on building out the new castle area and all the characters that would be there. I thought perhaps there would be time to expand or refine Riku's story later, so I didn't think much of it. Then the next part was set for the castle, and I felt that since the introductory period was over, we had all the players set and the second act could begin, allowing us to see what the driving conflict would be.
When we got to the castle and met with the queen, I personally felt like it would be Luna as the queen for the plot twist, and that Daybreaker would be our big bad. That was just idle conjecture, though. I began to feel a sense of unease that Celestia was a tyrant, based on the context clues so far. We then moved to the trial phase, which was sudden but interesting—I was down for it, as it served to establish that all was not well with Queen Celestia and built a secondary antagonist for our story going into the second act. Then we ended up in prison and met Morgan.
In terms of the ending, I feel this was the first big misstep. I felt like I really didn’t have time to reconcile with Morgan, learn more about her, or show her why I could be useful to her. I kind of wanted to start building a bond with her here that was more positive than the one in "FWB." Our mutual imprisonment felt like a good opportunity to do so, but it felt glossed over.
Then came the prison break and the sudden earthquake. At this point, I still felt like we were building up and setting the stage for the second act, not the finale. Suddenly, the big antagonist appears, and we have a major fight with Celestia and Midnight. We run, Celestia gets temporarily removed from the story, and as players, we don’t really experience the struggle against Celestia or significantly affect Celestia as a secondary antagonist.
After this, we rush through a few fight sequences, make it to the old castle, get more fancy MacGuffins, and are then immediately curb-stomped by the antagonist. We’re baited into a provocative “what if” bad ending, which would have been fun to see, but then we're saved by Morgan. which was fun in its own right. We realize we have the power of friendship, and suddenly we become a harmonious group and blast Midnight away with that power. My immediate thought was, "Wow... that’s it? We really won?... Already? But... but the game was just getting started! I haven’t even met any of the people in the castle yet or reconnected with some of my old friends. We didn’t really get to enjoy a journey with my friends, and now it’s just all... over."
Then I felt a bit hamstrung by Luna's assertion that we would be anchored unable to be summoned to other worlds that need us and thus low-key preventing the idea of future stories. I felt like we accepted our role as cosmic problem solvers, that the universe needs us when things go out of balance, we were acknowledging that there was another version of us in our old world, and that we were needed here. This is where we belong; leaving would complicate things over there and screw over everyone here. It also shuts down any possible hope of going to other worlds to solve problems as needed, which would honestly be kind of cool. But I digress.
At this point, it felt like we had received a new quest, and for a short while, I was convinced that this was just the closing of Act One. I hoped there was more in store: new locations to explore, new characters to meet, a new antagonist, perhaps even a showdown with Morgan now that she’s free, or Daybreaker, especially since Midnight was now part of the story, and you recently did some fantastic art for her. However, I’m now realizing that I felt rushed through to the ending before I was ready. It feels like we are missing a second act or a journey to go on before confronting the antagonist. So much of the world feels left unexplored. What is Cadence up to? Can I build something with Krystal? Where is DJ Pon3? Will I finally be able to go as in-depth as I can with helping Applebloom and Skye as I did with Melody? Riku seems like she needs more development as well.
Now, with my feelings and perceptions throughout the game out of the way, here are some suggestions that I believe might help improve things.
It’s clear you intend for "FWB2" to be a more focused and shorter story than "FWB1." I read your “Lessons Learned” from the Monster Girl 1000 dev blog, which caused a lot of reflection for me. One of your stated mistakes was feeling you had too many characters. On a personal level, I disagree; I thought "MG1000" was fine in its character load. Certainly, not all games should have that many, but in "MG1000," I felt it was one of the game’s strengths, not a weakness. The problems arose in the execution of wrapping up their stories and focusing on the wrong elements, in my opinion.
I see what you’re trying to do here, but I also feel it detracts from the game. At least for myself, and I assume for others, we are not ready to leave this world just yet; it feels like we just got here.
In "FWB1," the castle section had its own town, loaded with unique characters, side stories, and content to engage with before we progressed to the castle itself. This could serve as prime territory for fleshing out and expanding the game more.
I believe the game is missing a second act. Getting the gang back together feels more like a preliminary step than the start of the adventure itself. It really does feel like, once the game gets going, it suddenly ends. I don’t often advocate for filler, but yes, it feels like "FWB2" is too focused. The play space and story would be more enjoyable with some room to breathe, allowing us to savor what we have achieved up to the castle showdown while exploring the world a bit more. I would keep everything up until the prison break but use that as an opportunity to explore the inner city area, solve some problems, assemble new allies, meet new characters, and learn more about Celestia as an antagonist.
I would build up to a confrontation between the player and Celestia here. I would also use the prison as a location to start an arc for Morrigan, setting the stage for peace between the main character and his former demon. I would then expand upon this in this hypothetical act 2, where the MC and Morrigan come to understand each other and possibly form a slightly enticing (sexy?) alliance. This would allow her, along with other new characters, to help the MC prepare for his confrontation with Celestia.
The player would then confront Celestia in a personal battle, if not a physical one with allies, then at least a philosophical one where he convinces Celestia to possibly join their side or at least step aside.
This would be where I would introduce Midnight as an antagonist. With Celestia somehow weakened, Midnight makes her move, and we transition into the climax. At this point, the game would be best served by showing the ramifications of Midnight's attack—first, the devastation and the arrival of monsters at known locations, similar to the chaos presented in FWB1. At this stage, I would have the player rally the troops in individual scenes much as exists now and then have the player leading a counterattack followed by a big if losing battle with their friends. Things would proceed more or less as they have played out in the current climax.
Moving on, I would include a closing story scene with every character and probably at least one more intimate scene for most. Regarding any post-game plans you may have, I'm not sure if you intend to close things off or what you intend to introduce, but I personally would feel most satisfied with an ending that leaves the possibility of more adventures in the future. I certainly do not want to return to the human world; I wouldn't be here if I enjoyed the mundane nature of reality.
Earlier, I alluded to several points, but I think not including Celestia's alter ego would be a missed opportunity, especially with the inclusion of Midnight. Most of the brothel girls feel somewhat shallow and don’t need to be more than that. However, Krystal feels different; her story and the questions she poses to the main character suggest she has the potential to be more than a simple encounter. I believe there could be a compelling story and romance if explored, which could be satisfying for some players.
I think a lot of people would like to see Cadance included somehow. She was a significant and well-liked part of the original, and her absence here is extremely noticeable. The same goes for Sunset Shimmer; even if just as a one-off, it would be nice to see her again. With Octavia around, it feels like Vynal Scratch should be kicking around somewhere too. I believe there's room for a secondary conflict between Morrigan and Cadance too, it is something to ponder at least. Finally, though I do not think it should be at the initial point, finding a way to insert a what-if scenario where the MC becomes Breeding Stock for Midnight and her minions would be chefs' kiss for a LOT of players.
That about wraps up my feelings, observations, and thoughts on what could possibly be done to make FWB2 more enjoyable than it already is. I sincerely hope this helps. I might be able to make more refined suggestions if I thought about it more or observed a framework, but in short, I think the big takeaway is that most players just want more content and don’t really desire this to be a shorter journey. I think the sudden entry into the climax was jarring, and it really feels like there should be more of a journey or quest involved, with the MC confronting a personal antagonist before facing the greater threat. This would lead to a more satisfying experience and journey for the reader.
As always, Scarlet, I am sincere. You are one of the best writers I know; your work is earnest and passionate. I wouldn't put this amount of effort or thought into it if I didn’t care and wasn’t an ardent fan and supporter of what you do. This is your world, your story, and you are the expert here.
I ultimately enjoyed my time with FWB2 despite it feeling rushed in places, but it is because you created such a compelling dark magitech mini-dystopia that neither I nor others are ready to leave just yet when we felt like we just got here. Creating such a place is a rare and magical talent all its own. Whatever you decide, I will always be here to read along and enjoy whatever worlds you want to create. Your hard work, creativity, earnest introspection, humbleness, and transparency have earned my loyalty and fascination in equal parts. So beyond all this, I want to once again say thank you, Twisted, for brightening my life with your worlds, even if there are sometimes missteps along the way. I do not regret joining you in your passions.
Sincerely.
-Otter.
You're acting like 'Castle 1' is the ending of the entire game, and not the first part of "Castle 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5", and also "Dawn 1, 2", "Farm 4, Bar 4, and Brothel 4", and much more to be planned!
I'd recommend reading my public patreon post for details on the next update. The climax of this arc is getting a rewrite and it's remarkably similar to your suggestions, since I think the issues people have with 'Castle 1' were pretty universal and I was easily able to recognize them too.
I can't wait to start whining (complaining) about various bugs again!
Damn, I've already reported so many that I'm not sure if TwistedScarlett60 will listen to me at all >_<
Damn, I've already reported so many that I'm not sure if TwistedScarlett60 will listen to me at all >_<
- Jan 10, 2019
- 161
- 387
Thank you, Sorry i have not been keeping up with your patreon for a few weeks, and sorry If my post came off in anyways as bothersome to you, you asked for criticism and i was just trying to do what I could to help.
- Sep 12, 2020
- 16
- 9
Out of curiousity, if the plot points are changing as you mentioned, will we be able to replay the climax, or do we need to go back to a previous save?