Seeking Gentle Femdom

Aseratrix

Engaged Member
Dec 16, 2019
2,232
4,886
Hardcore femdom does not have to be hateful this is true but it seems to be the case for most games here. Karlsson gambit for example is full of hate
Not to me. To me its real love. With all due respect, let me me explain:

You should already know this one: people who are not into a particular fetish always tend to see it from the pov of how THEY would experience a certain scenario, and judge it based on the bias they have. Trust me, people who are not into "gentle" femdom, like regular vanilla people (think of an average grandma - no offense to cool grandmas), would look at that content and conclude that its just hateful abuse too!!! Because in their world, in their own libidinal "household", such things can not possibly be erotic or sexy, or be desired, they would simply call you "sick".

Just hold on a little bit longer:

Its fiction: literature in the form of pictures and words, describing imaginary events and people for the sake of emphasizing emotions and giving rationale for certain desired scenarios to occur...like being hardcore dominated, which btw. can only be hardcore if its not nice and gentle. The narrative simply makes it possible to have un-gentle, and un-nice, but for us seriously "degenerate" D/s lovers the most arousing kind of dominating/being dominated - it is not meant as real hate, but a tool to instate a fictionally plausible scenario in which truly heavy, really sadistic/masochistic desires can be satisfied. Remember, those of us who like extreme/hardcore D/s S/m, are also people, we also need our erotic outlets.

Note, our fetish is not our ethical and political compass by which we orient ourselves in real life.

Just like the metric tons of maledom games on this site, featuring women getting raped, corrupted into prostitution and gang-banged in dark alleys, are not hateful, but narrative plots, narrative excuses to create scenarios in service of suspended belief, so that inherent imbalance (thus injustice if seen out of context) of power dynamics makes sense, so the actual arousing content for those who like maledom can be meaningfully inserted. That's all!

I personally don't like - to say the least - games where women (whom I worship and adore) get mistreated (I really can't stand maledom), but I also get it, that for some people that is whats arousing. So, I won't call those games woman-hating. Game figures are not real people, those imagining themselves as the "victim" or the "abuser", do not actually get victimized or actually abuse anyone.

Karsson's Gambit is not hateful at all! Depending which route you choose, and which fetish you like, its an extremely intelligently crafted plot, whith many choices (you can even have a gentler route), which also allows all of us who are into the more extreme end of the spectrum to have depicted our deepest erotic fantasies, like being reduced to a literal sex-slave for beautiful women. But its more than that! KG aims to be a game not just about a series of fetishes, but - as far as the format of adult gaming allows - a story of moral dilemmas and hard choices. Novels of Dickens Zola or Tolstoy, or games like Fallout, etc all feature - as judged in real life - abhorrent social conditions, injustice and social cruelty if needed to tell the story, sometimes for the very purpose of criticizing said circumstances, but sometimes merely as narrative tools to allow for an interesting character-development, etc. My point is, that as works of fiction, games, novels, movies often use tropes which judged outside their artistic merit, or inherent goal may seem bad, outright hateful, etc. No wonder that we have a history littered with book-burnings, social hysteria about how music, video-games or adult games or horror movies are wicked and hateful and teach kids bad morals. And we all know how all of those are in fact the hateful, the bigoted, the wrong.

Finally, as someone who is also into a rare adult genre, I do understand your frustration in not finding exactly what you seek, and I sympathize. But please, for the love of Minerva, don't try to realize your goal, by inciting resistance to what others want to have. You don't need to hate on "hateful hardcore femdom" in order to make a case for what you perceive as a lack of "gentle femdom".

Please forgive me, I did not intend to insult you, and for being so long-winded, but I have had the misfortune of seeing this kind of attitude too often as of late. Just to illustrate how much on your side I am: I have never ever asked any femdom game dev to make the hardcorest of femdom without having all fetishes as avoidable options: so that they can be played according to taste as either purely gentle or as really "fucked up", truly extreme femdom.

Have a nice day!
 
Last edited:
Jul 28, 2017
161
296
Not to me. To me its real love. With all due respect, let me me explain:

You should already know this one: people who are not into a particular fetish always tend to see it from the pov of how THEY would experience a certain scenario, and judge it based on the bias they have. Trust me, people who are not into "gentle" femdom, like regular vanilla people (think of an average grandma - no offense to cool grandmas), would look at that content and conclude that its just hateful abuse too!!! Because in their world, in their own libidinal "household", such things can not possibly be erotic or sexy, or be desired, they would simply call you "sick".

Just hold on a little bit longer:

Its fiction: literature in the form of pictures and words, describing imaginary events and people for the sake of emphasizing emotions and giving rationale for certain desired scenarios to occur...like being hardcore dominated, which btw. can only be hardcore if its not nice and gentle. The narrative simply makes it possible to have un-gentle, and un-nice, but for us seriously "degenerate" D/s lovers the most arousing kind of dominating/being dominated - it is not meant as real hate, but a tool to instate a fictionally plausible scenario in which truly heavy, really sadistic/masochistic desires can be satisfied. Remember, those of us who like extreme/hardcore D/s S/m, are also people, we also need our erotic outlets.

Note, our fetish is not our ethical and political compass by which we orient ourselves in real life.

Just like the metric tons of maledom games on this site, featuring women getting raped, corrupted into prostitution and gang-banged in dark alleys, are not hateful, but narrative plots, narrative excuses to create scenarios in service of suspended belief, so that inherent imbalance (thus injustice if seen out of context) of power dynamics makes sense, so the actual arousing content for those who like maledom can be meaningfully inserted. That's all!

I personally don't like - to say the least - games where women (whom I worship and adore) get mistreated (I really can't stand maledom), but I also get it, that for some people that is whats arousing. So, I won't call those games woman-hating. Game figures are not real people, those imagining themselves as the "victim" or the "abuser", do not actually get victimized or actually abuse anyone.

Karsson's Gambit is not hateful at all! Depending which route you choose, and which fetish you like, its an extremely intelligently crafted plot, whith many choices (you can even have a gentler route), which also allows all of us who are into the more extreme end of the spectrum to have depicted our deepest erotic fantasies, like being reduced to a literal sex-slave for beautiful women. But its more than that! KG aims to be a game not just about a series of fetishes, but - as far as the format of adult gaming allows - a story of moral dilemmas and hard choices. Novels of Dickens Zola or Tolstoy, or games like Fallout, etc all feature - as judged in real life - abhorrent social conditions, injustice and social cruelty if needed to tell the story, sometimes for the very purpose of criticizing said circumstances, but sometimes merely as narrative tools to allow for an interesting character-development, etc. My point is, that as works of fiction, games, novels, movies often use tropes which judged outside their artistic merit, or inherent goal may seem bad, outright hateful, etc. No wonder that we have a history littered with book-burnings, social hysteria about how music, video-games or adult games or horror movies are wicked and hateful and teach kids bad morals. And we all know how all of those are in fact the hateful, the bigoted, the wrong.

Finally, as someone who is also into a rare adult genre, I do understand your frustration in not finding exactly what you seek, and I sympathize. But please, for the love of Minerva, don't try to realize your goal, by inciting resistance to what others want to have. You don't need to hate on "hateful hardcore femdom" in order to make a case for what you perceive as a lack of "gentle femdom".

Please forgive me, I did not intend to insult you, and for being so long-winded, but I have had the misfortune of seeing this kind of attitude too often as of late. Just to illustrate how much on your side I am: I have never ever asked any femdom game dev to make the hardcorest of femdom without having all fetishes as avoidable options: so that they can be played according to taste as either purely gentle or as really "fucked up", truly extreme femdom.

Have a nice day!
Huh that was a long read. Look the thing is I don't mind hardcore femdom, I accept that KGambit is a good game with much more interesting story than 90% games here with Incest brain-dead storytelling, when I say that x femdom is hateful is when I can see/read that there is no attraction to the sub neither physical nor affectionate it's mostly "haha men are pathetic pigs you disgust me" when femdom is derived only from women wanting to hurt men just because they want to hurt men to me this is "hateful" and I can use other words to describe it, like, "empty femdom" or "domination for domination's sake" Maledom games always have disgusting perverts that actually want to have sex with x and they are happy to do it whatever means necessary. While most femdom I encountered I feel like there is no affection or any interest to it? It always feels like MC is an unwanted variable and is actively hated by his partner. I was wrong with my post "hardcore hateful Femdom" what I really meant is that I'm looking for femdom where there is affection between dom and sub of any kind! A good example would be tower of trample Doms in that game have no love interest in you but you can see during H-scenes that they enjoy doming you that they have their own fun that they are attracted on some level to you! When I played KGambit I felt like everytime I was being submissive i made a wrong choice that I was disappointing everyone! I enjoyed more being dominant in femdom game than sub because I made x "partner" happy with this (by being dominant) but the thing is I don't care for being dominant! I have an option to be dominant in almost all other games that is what disappointing me in KGambit! Also I don't want to take any games from ppl that enjoy them I just wish that I could find something for myself to enjoy haha.
 

Aseratrix

Engaged Member
Dec 16, 2019
2,232
4,886
Huh that was a long read. Look the thing is I don't mind hardcore femdom, I accept that KGambit is a good game with much more interesting story than 90% games here with Incest brain-dead storytelling, when I say that x femdom is hateful is when I can see/read that there is no attraction to the sub neither physical nor affectionate it's mostly "haha men are pathetic pigs you disgust me" when femdom is derived only from women wanting to hurt men just because they want to hurt men to me this is "hateful" and I can use other words to describe it, like, "empty femdom" or "domination for domination's sake" Maledom games always have disgusting perverts that actually want to have sex with x and they are happy to do it whatever means necessary. While most femdom I encountered I feel like there is no affection or any interest to it? It always feels like MC is an unwanted variable and is actively hated by his partner. I was wrong with my post "hardcore hateful Femdom" what I really meant is that I'm looking for femdom where there is affection between dom and sub of any kind! A good example would be tower of trample Doms in that game have no love interest in you but you can see during H-scenes that they enjoy doming you that they have their own fun that they are attracted on some level to you! When I played KGambit I felt like everytime I was being submissive i made a wrong choice that I was disappointing everyone! I enjoyed more being dominant in femdom game than sub because I made x "partner" happy with this (by being dominant) but the thing is I don't care for being dominant! I have an option to be dominant in almost all other games that is what disappointing me in KGambit! Also I don't want to take any games from ppl that enjoy them I just wish that I could find something for myself to enjoy haha.
Have you tried the game Escalation???? I think that is exactly what you seek (I loved it too), because while its 100% femdom and it even has some serious femdom in it, the domme really cares for her slave.
 

Nait Sieve

Active Member
Mar 5, 2021
854
1,038
that was an interesting read. my personal interpretation of gentle femdom is not even about love/affetion, but more about the lack of pain and humiliation. i'm fine in these games to get used and taken advantage of, but getting whipped, insulted, locked in a cage or banged with a strapon is not for me. for that i also settled on playing Karlsson's gambit on the dom route (even though i'm not into being dominant), since going sub makes you everyones prey and most women in that game are sadistic to the core (even the oh so nice and gentle Junko locks you in a damn cage right away when you go sub).
 

Aseratrix

Engaged Member
Dec 16, 2019
2,232
4,886
that was an interesting read. my personal interpretation of gentle femdom is not even about love/affetion, but more about the lack of pain and humiliation. i'm fine in these games to get used and taken advantage of, but getting whipped, insulted, locked in a cage or banged with a strapon is not for me. for that i also settled on playing Karlsson's gambit on the dom route (even though i'm not into being dominant), since going sub makes you everyones prey and most women in that game are sadistic to the core (even the oh so nice and gentle Junko locks you in a damn cage right away when you go sub).

I may be far too gone, but what is actually femdom without "pain and humiliation"? An intimidating finger-wagging? Seriously tho, what femdom related fetishes do you find gentle? Foot-related stuff can be humiliating too, so that's out the window, face-sitting, trampling, spitting, kicking, verbal humiliation, pee-drinking, full-toilet-degradation, whipping, spanking, slapping, biting, edge-play, wax-play, pegging, serious pony-play, objectification, bondage, female supremacy, dirty boot licking, public humiliation, chastity belts, cutting, scratching...everything is out the window? Then what does "gentle" femdom even mean?
 

Nait Sieve

Active Member
Mar 5, 2021
854
1,038
well i may be somewhat of a softy in that regard and just using the rather broad word of humiliation may have been misleading and perhaps my interpretation of gentle femdom is just wrong. things like bondage, face-sitting and edge-play are fine by me, as well as seduction, findom, hypnosis, pet-play, power exchange and the like. i guess i'm fine with humiliation as long as the woman at least acts nice and friendly. in fantasy games most succubi fall under that category, but also games like tower of trample have a few women like that. if that means my understanding of "gentle femdom" is wrong, please let me know.
 

Aseratrix

Engaged Member
Dec 16, 2019
2,232
4,886
well i may be somewhat of a softy in that regard and just using the rather broad word of humiliation may have been misleading and perhaps my interpretation of gentle femdom is just wrong. things like bondage, face-sitting and edge-play are fine by me, as well as seduction, findom, hypnosis, pet-play, power exchange and the like. i guess i'm fine with humiliation as long as the woman at least acts nice and friendly. in fantasy games most succubi fall under that category, but also games like tower of trample have a few women like that. if that means my understanding of "gentle femdom" is wrong, please let me know.
No, its not wrong, I just can't fathom why femdom needs to be nice. I mean its female domination, domination is supposed not to be nice. But what do I now? Right?
 

CatLimiter

Member
Sep 21, 2019
114
183
Have you tried the game Escalation???? I think that is exactly what you seek (I loved it too), because while its 100% femdom and it even has some serious femdom in it, the domme really cares for her slave.
escalation is fantastic game. It actually gets extreme in it's fetishes while still being full of love...well 2/3 endings anyways.
 

Hedonistscum

Newbie
Aug 1, 2020
27
60
I agree with the interpretation that gentle femdom means having feelings like love and affection for the submissive. Detective Masochist 1 and 2 qualify in this regard. Mistresses of the Forest has one route which has affection in it. Tower of Trample also has some women who care for the sub. Euphoria as well. Boku no Kanojo wa Joou-sama.
 
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Aseratrix

Engaged Member
Dec 16, 2019
2,232
4,886
I agree with the interpretation that gentle femdom means having feelings like love and affection for the submissive. Detective Masochist 1 and 2 qualify in this regard. Mistresses of the Forest has one route which has affection in it. Tower of Trample also has some women who care for the sub. Euphoria as well. Boku no Kanojo wa Joou-sama.
Euphoria is an extreme maledom game.
 
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Ianuda

Member
Nov 14, 2020
371
481
While most femdom I encountered I feel like there is no affection or any interest to it? It always feels like MC is an unwanted variable and is actively hated by his partner.
and perhaps my interpretation of gentle femdom is just wrong. things like bondage, face-sitting and edge-play are fine by me, as well as seduction, findom, hypnosis, pet-play, power exchange and the like.
I just can't fathom why femdom needs to be nice.
I do find a contrast between average maledom and average femdom (especially in pornography). Maledom is centred around promiscuous sex, whereas most femdom emphasises non-sexual acts. For example, it's quite difficult (though not impossible) to find femsubs who lick feet or get whipped. Whereas conversely, it's literally impossible to find malesubs who get tied up and have sex. (Cowgirl bondage is one of the clearest and easiest fantasies of mine - and it literally doesn't exist, save for a random rare video.)

Even femdom humiliation is often non even femdom, in my view. A large percentage of "femdom" JoI videos are all about praising successful men - which misses the mark for me.

Even true femdom humiliation has such a different feel to it than maledom. Honest to gods, I have not seen a single maledom humiliation video (they probably don't exist). Maledom is about rough sex and often times extreme bondage, some slaps and name-calling ("corruption" in games). Femdom is about either homoerotic humiliation, pain, cuckoldry... I myself love boot licking, but when that's the entire focus, it's ridiculous.

To me, Mistresses of the Forest does offer a perfect femdom exposition where the power dynamic is on the side of the female sorceress who is clearly more powerful than the protagonist, whose favour can be won by fetch quests, but who still keeps herself high in the mutual adventures.

Another example would be Sanguine Rose where the protagonist can lose in a battle of wits to his female prisoner. That's smart domination, where the player's philosophy is tested.

And Aseratix, please, don't take it as an offense, nowhere have I disparaged your view of femdom, I'm merely talking about my tastes here, and my aspirations. It's just if something is not maledom, I consider it femdom by default. And I tend to focus not even necessarily on the 《dom》, but on the 《fem》 part - something that is honestly harder in a maledom game, which is usually about the protagonist's (((big dick))) (/eyeroll).

In a way, what I seek in femdom is a story about making the girl happy with less focus on the male. Domination is a hot extra to the primary focus on love...

(Sorry, I sound like a homosexual. I do have a huge fetish for thighhigh boots and headpat with bondage, I swear.)
 

Aseratrix

Engaged Member
Dec 16, 2019
2,232
4,886
I do find a contrast between average maledom and average femdom (especially in pornography). Maledom is centred around promiscuous sex, whereas most femdom emphasises non-sexual acts. For example, it's quite difficult (though not impossible) to find femsubs who lick feet or get whipped. Whereas conversely, it's literally impossible to find malesubs who get tied up and have sex. (Cowgirl bondage is one of the clearest and easiest fantasies of mine - and it literally doesn't exist, save for a random rare video.)

Even femdom humiliation is often non even femdom, in my view. A large percentage of "femdom" JoI videos are all about praising successful men - which misses the mark for me.

Even true femdom humiliation has such a different feel to it than maledom. Honest to gods, I have not seen a single maledom humiliation video (they probably don't exist). Maledom is about rough sex and often times extreme bondage, some slaps and name-calling ("corruption" in games). Femdom is about either homoerotic humiliation, pain, cuckoldry... I myself love boot licking, but when that's the entire focus, it's ridiculous.

To me, Mistresses of the Forest does offer a perfect femdom exposition where the power dynamic is on the side of the female sorceress who is clearly more powerful than the protagonist, whose favour can be won by fetch quests, but who still keeps herself high in the mutual adventures.

Another example would be Sanguine Rose where the protagonist can lose in a battle of wits to his female prisoner. That's smart domination, where the player's philosophy is tested.

And Aseratix, please, don't take it as an offense, nowhere have I disparaged your view of femdom, I'm merely talking about my tastes here, and my aspirations. It's just if something is not maledom, I consider it femdom by default. And I tend to focus not even necessarily on the 《dom》, but on the 《fem》 part - something that is honestly harder in a maledom game, which is usually about the protagonist's (((big dick))) (/eyeroll).

In a way, what I seek in femdom is a story about making the girl happy with less focus on the male. Domination is a hot extra to the primary focus on love...

(Sorry, I sound like a homosexual. I do have a huge fetish for thighhigh boots and headpat with bondage, I swear.)
Its ok buddy, you do you. Femdom tho is not up to wild interpretations, we're been through this already. It has a clear definition and whatever doesn't conflict with that definition, its femdom, simple as that - to say that if something is not maledom is femdom is INSANE. Its like saying every animal which is not a cat is a dog. Vanilla people would also vehemently object that what they are doing is femdom, lol.

The last thing I want in my femdom is homoerotic elements. Don't confuse the deluge of sissification and ntr/cuckold games with femdom. Femdom can also be about "rough sex", but at is core its female worship and empowered females, its more beautiful, more psychological than maledom. From a sub's pov being under the power and authority of females is in itself sexually arousing [as it is arousing for a female dominant to have that power as well], that's what differentiates someone who is truly submissive and someone who is only looking to spice up vanilla sex. It is about power-exchange, about surrender to beauty, about admiring and respecting that beauty, be immersed, subsumed by that beauty. Being dominated by females erotically charges up that admiration and awe, being humiliated by them feels right, feels proper. For true subs they seem like almost literal goddesses.

I already identified your issue in another thread. Its simple really. It amuses me that you are so tethered to own the concept of "femdom" to mean everything you like, that you're willing to tie yourself in all sorts of mental gymnastics. But why? Loving femdom is not obligatory, and what you like must not neatly fit into femdom. You are completely free to like things other than or in addition to femdom. You see, its really, really simple: you like some aspects of femdom, and dislike others. Its the same with almost everybody. There are vanilla people who like some neck-bites during sex, and consider it adventurous, then there are people like me - few as we may be - who are almost entirely into one thing. Albeit in the case of femdom that is like being into "metal music" or "electronic music", because it has a huge variety within itself - but it still has boundaries.

The most important thing: you are not "less" for not liking genuine, full femdom. And I am not "more" because I do. In fact you should be proud of yourself for having a wider palate. The "debate" we're having is not about whose taste is better, or who is right really, its a wholly unnecessary and artificial debate. Even among those of us who "only" like femdom, there are differences, quirks, fetishes which differ. Its very rare to meet someone whose taste in anything is a carbon copy of one another.

The only takeaway I wish to impart to you is, that you don't have to fit your taste into femdom. But when you for example are in a thread which focuses on it, then you have to realize where you are and leave the non-femdom parts of your taste outside of it. Think of it like this: lets say a bisexual visits a gay chatroom, altho he might be bixexual, he should respect the fact that nobody in that particular chatroom will be excited to speak about his taste in females, but as a bisexual he can freely discard his hetero part and focus on his gay part while in that particular chatroom, and everybody is happy. What would be silly is to try and somehow shoehorn his love for females into the concept of gayness, as if not being encompassed by that label would somehow threaten the existence of his attractions.

I really hope that I helped you clarify some of the issues you have. I am willing to compromise on anything, but words have meanings for a reason, lets keep them neat and tidy.
 
Last edited:

Ianuda

Member
Nov 14, 2020
371
481
It is about power-exchange, about surrender to beauty, about admiring and respecting that beauty, be immersed, subsumed by that beauty. Being dominated by females erotically charges up that admiration and awe
That's actually how I feel, too. I rationaise it as the male's libido's being directly drawn out of the female. And in essence, any male sexual act is submitting to one's nature, thus to the female.
to say that if something is not maledom is femdom is INSANE.
So here you can see exactly where we diverge - I made a point that there is nothing but maledom and femdom (aside from lezdom, futadom, gaydom, etc.) - and you think there is? Do you disagree that vanilla belongs to maledom?
being humiliated by them feels right
...understand me, part of the reason why I'm writing at all is for the readers. Whenever I see statements such as this, I feel compelled to defend the mere existence of another kind of femdom - the pure power of emotional love, of entrancement. I never ever tried to discredit humiliation, merely to cry and shout about the other way. It's just I'm myself disheartened when I see false dichotomies, stereotypes, and thus I lend my voice in such cases.
But when you for example are in a thread which focuses on it, then you have to realize where you are and leave the non-femdom parts of your taste outside of it.
I don't really do that? If you mean that random question about open-world femdom/maledom games, it was just that. I honestly cannot remember when I ever mentioned maledom in a positive vein. But whatever.

...Android Life has the exact mixture of cuteness and power that I have in mind. In that, you are correct.