[S>Writer] Unpaid Hi, I am not a good writer I would like get more writers on our projects to teach me how to become a better writer and help us.

UglyBastard69

Member
Jan 30, 2024
198
28
Snow hammering down, wind blustering from the east while bare feet crunch thick piles of snow.

All can think of for our visual novel about our character who is a young elf who lost everything and must survive from evil nobles, monsters, etc.

This is our first project we are just drafting and talking our plans.
 

Onyxdime

Smutlord
Game Developer
Jul 26, 2017
957
4,768
Ideally, you want to have an introduction and a conclusion in mind. Once you've got those two points you can begin filling in the middle.

Introduction
A cold opening with limited exposition could be a strong introduction if you just cut straight to an elf walking in the snow. Don't have the elf explain what has happened. You'll want to add some contextual clues about why she is there:
-Are her clothes inappropriate for cold weather? Did that mean she fled in a hurry or did she get lost?
-Does she have a weapon? Why? Why not?
-Do her clothes have blood on them? Whose blood is it?
-Does she look underweight/malnourished/dirty? You can convey that she has been on the run for a long time without her having to specifically state, "I have been on the run for a long time."

Conclusion
Do you know how you want your story to end yet? If not, some points to consider:
-Does she act the same way as she does in the beginning? Scared/alone/walking through forest.
-Or has she grown as a character and improved? More confident now?
-Has she become corrupted by her encounters on her journey? (leaning into corruption fetishes)
-Does her story come full circle with her having a showdown against the nemesis in the same cold, frozen land where she first appeared?

Villains
The next thing that can make or break a good story is the quality of the antagonist. I assume you're doing a hentai game, so we're talking potential sexual assault/rape?
In that case, you're going to have to decide what kind of tone you want to set.
Do you want it dark and serious (Fear and Hunger) or more light-hearted and absurd (like Karryn's Prison)?
Why did the antagonist cause the elf to lose everything? What are their motivations? Did they do it on purpose? Was the elf simply collateral damage in the antagonist's plan?
Are there multiple antagonists? If so, how do they relate to each other? Do their goals bring them into conflict with each other?
 

Jai235

Member
Game Developer
Apr 10, 2022
100
66
Snow hammering down, wind blustering from the east while bare feet crunch thick piles of snow.

All can think of for our visual novel about our character who is a young elf who lost everything and must survive from evil nobles, monsters, etc.

This is our first project we are just drafting and talking our plans.
Hi, I am not really anything exceptional, but I found this post interesting. I think that before even starting to ponder on how to write your story and your characters, you should take this setting you mentioned about this young elf who has to survive and solidify it into something more concrete. Basically, I am suggesting to give priority to the direction of the game rather than its writing.

Is this visual novel going to be a kinetic novel? Is it a corruption type of game where corruption is inevitable for the MC? Have you decided if you want it to be with 2D drawings or 3D models? What tone and atmosphere do you want for your game?

This does not mean that you shouldn't spare some effort for the writing part tho, that is almost equally important. Do you have any idea about the MC personality? Have you already fleshed out or at least got an intruiging idea for some secondary characters? I can prompt you with some ideas if you give me something a bit more specific
 

UglyBastard69

Member
Jan 30, 2024
198
28
Hi, I am not really anything exceptional, but I found this post interesting. I think that before even starting to ponder on how to write your story and your characters, you should take this setting you mentioned about this young elf who has to survive and solidify it into something more concrete. Basically, I am suggesting to give priority to the direction of the game rather than its writing.

Is this visual novel going to be a kinetic novel? Is it a corruption type of game where corruption is inevitable for the MC? Have you decided if you want it to be with 2D drawings or 3D models? What tone and atmosphere do you want for your game?

This does not mean that you shouldn't spare some effort for the writing part tho, that is almost equally important. Do you have any idea about the MC personality? Have you already fleshed out or at least got an intruiging idea for some secondary characters? I can prompt you with some ideas if you give me something a bit more specific
2D art I have already an artist drawing the characters for concept. I will ask the team should make a playtest demo I want to have survival gameplay, thirst, hunger, money. I am a new programmer learning as I go but also try to draft characters in my head or on paper for the project. Corruption? maybe or maybe not I like characters to cry in suffer it turns me on in adult games.
 

UglyBastard69

Member
Jan 30, 2024
198
28
Ideally, you want to have an introduction and a conclusion in mind. Once you've got those two points you can begin filling in the middle.

Introduction
A cold opening with limited exposition could be a strong introduction if you just cut straight to an elf walking in the snow. Don't have the elf explain what has happened. You'll want to add some contextual clues about why she is there:
-Are her clothes inappropriate for cold weather? Did that mean she fled in a hurry or did she get lost?
-Does she have a weapon? Why? Why not?
-Do her clothes have blood on them? Whose blood is it?
-Does she look underweight/malnourished/dirty? You can convey that she has been on the run for a long time without her having to specifically state, "I have been on the run for a long time."

Conclusion
Do you know how you want your story to end yet? If not, some points to consider:
-Does she act the same way as she does in the beginning? Scared/alone/walking through forest.
-Or has she grown as a character and improved? More confident now?
-Has she become corrupted by her encounters on her journey? (leaning into corruption fetishes)
-Does her story come full circle with her having a showdown against the nemesis in the same cold, frozen land where she first appeared?

Villains
The next thing that can make or break a good story is the quality of the antagonist. I assume you're doing a hentai game, so we're talking potential sexual assault/rape?
In that case, you're going to have to decide what kind of tone you want to set.
Do you want it dark and serious (Fear and Hunger) or more light-hearted and absurd (like Karryn's Prison)?
Why did the antagonist cause the elf to lose everything? What are their motivations? Did they do it on purpose? Was the elf simply collateral damage in the antagonist's plan?
Are there multiple antagonists? If so, how do they relate to each other? Do their goals bring them into conflict with each other?
She lost everything because an invasion.
 

leerlauf

Newbie
Dec 13, 2019
26
7
First you'll need to settle on the broader story structure. Narrative games - like visual novels - can take very different approaches when it comes to handling their branching paths. The most simple approach would be to have no branching paths at all, but once you include player choices, things become more complex. Here is a very good summary for the different structures that can be employed:

The gameplay you envision will very much guide your choice of structure. If you for example want some lifesim like structure, with your main protagonist having to manage her daily life while struggling with all sorts of dangers, threats and corruption, then your narrative would be structured around some central hub. This would be some choice screen where the player decides on a daily activity the elf will attempt, and the resulting narrative branch will loop back to that central hub while raising and altering some central traits and variables, which might alter how the very same loop will play out in the future or unlock new options in the hub.
If you on the other hand picture a more straightforward narrative, then you might have a few branching paths (or just a single one with some bad ends and some purely aesthetic branching sections), which would be told much more closely to a traditional story.

Each approach will require a very different way of writing, so you and your team should settle on a gameplay loop first, before starting the writing.
 

Scubatropin

Member
Jun 7, 2021
126
339
Visualizing a scene and describing it with regard to whatever is missing in the particular media you are presenting it is the most important thing. Since most visual novels only give you brief glimpses of each scene its to 'set the stage' to draw the viewer into what you're thinking and then in your detailed writing you are substituting for what you're not showing in the animation. Different people want different things. I'm more of a Michael Crichton reader than a Tom Clancy because I read rapidly and I don't need that much detail. Personally, I wouldn't focus too much on ambiance as much as I would emotional factors in these types of VNs. We don't know what the MC is feeling, planning or fixated on going from scene to scene, so to me, that is what is what most readers want for this genre. I was a ghost-writer for a Japanese developer a couple of years ago and it was my job to make sure that the scenes "came alive". If you want and example, I can send one to you.
 
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