I'd like your feedback for a game

[xxx_chris2018]

Hello everyone,

There are a lot of great games on here, but I was looking for more games with predominantly M/M content, without the main character becoming a sissy or a woman. I realize there is less of a demand for these types of games, so I figured I'd create my own. If you're looking for a great one though, @Megaduck 's The Retreat is probably the best one I've played (and I've played it a lot). However, I wanted to build my own. I'm building it in SugarCube, which isn't as difficult as I thought it would be (I'm not a programmer by any means). I'm at 6,600 words and 65 passages. It's likely far more complex than it has to be and I could probably write more lines of text (I've been focusing on more pictures).

I'm not ready to let anyone play it yet. Since I built it for me, all of the pictures/videos (except 1) are me and my partner, which I'm definitely (probably) going to change. This brings me to my questions. I'd like feedback from anyone as these questions aren't specific to M/M games, but for any players. However, if you are interested in playing a game with only M/M content (there will not be a single woman the whole time) please let me know as you are my target audience. Thanks in advance!

1. Is continuity of actors important to you? For example, in The Retreat, Megaduck picked Johnny Rapid for the player character. Nearly every scene that involves the player involved the same actor. I really enjoyed this, but it limits your writing because if the actor didn't do a scene for something you want to do, you can't write about it. This is one of the reasons I created it, so far, with myself, because if I'm missing any pictures, I can just take them. Or, is that something that doesn't matter to you?

2. Is visibility of stats important to you? 2 parts to this. The first part is visibility of current stats. Things like money will always be displayed because you can count those. However, relationship between people don't have number values in real life. I'd use numbers behind the scenes, but then give you a blurb about the relationship depending on where the score falls. Or would you rather be able to see the number, so you can figure out where you are? The second part is visibility of changes. Do you want to see if that score goes up or down when you click on a link? Or does having that hidden make it feel more like a game (and more of a challenge)?

3. Finally, any other tips or hints that you would give me on things you really like or dislike from other games?

To everyone who read this whole thing, thanks so much! And to those who respond (either here or through PM), I am incredibly grateful. I'm really excited about this and hope people like the end result.


Thanks!!

 

[fitgirlbestgirl]

1. Is continuity of actors important to you? For example, in The Retreat, Megaduck picked Johnny Rapid for the player character. Nearly every scene that involves the player involved the same actor. I really enjoyed this, but it limits your writing because if the actor didn't do a scene for something you want to do, you can't write about it. This is one of the reasons I created it, so far, with myself, because if I'm missing any pictures, I can just take them. Or, is that something that doesn't matter to you?

Having the same actor definitely acts to immersion in a major way, I would try to do this if possible. Though I've also played and enjoyed some games that just had "random" gifs and shit, but it isn't optimal.

2. Is visibility of stats important to you? 2 parts to this. The first part is visibility of current stats. Things like money will always be displayed because you can count those. However, relationship between people don't have number values in real life. I'd use numbers behind the scenes, but then give you a blurb about the relationship depending on where the score falls. Or would you rather be able to see the number, so you can figure out where you are? The second part is visibility of changes. Do you want to see if that score goes up or down when you click on a link? Or does having that hidden make it feel more like a game (and more of a challenge)?

Hidden stats piss me off in pretty much every game. I don't want to have to play with a walkthrough open in another tab. Tell me where I am and what my actions do to my stats.

3. Finally, any other tips or hints that you would give me on things you really like or dislike from other games?

Write more. 6.6k words is less than you think. Don't be overreliant on sexy pictures to carry your narrative. Allow the player to make meaningful choices that lead to different outcomes. Cater to multiple fetishes, but don't overdo it and write for fetishes you don't understand or find disgusting, it will show in the writing.

 

[Ryder77]

1. Is continuity of actors important to you?

Yes, absolutely. Throughout the game, you associate a particular actor with the character in the game. If the actor changes, it will effectively become a different character. This is very important, IMO.

2. Is visibility of stats important to you? 2 parts to this. The first part is visibility of current stats. Things like money will always be displayed because you can count those. However, relationship between people don't have number values in real life. I'd use numbers behind the scenes, but then give you a blurb about the relationship depending on where the score falls. Or would you rather be able to see the number, so you can figure out where you are? The second part is visibility of changes. Do you want to see if that score goes up or down when you click on a link? Or does having that hidden make it feel more like a game (and more of a challenge)?

I'm of two minds about this. On one hand, yes, it's good to see how you stand and how your choices affect the underlying numbers. On the other hand, it's way too easy to end up making choices simply to see the numbers change. In my view, that is detrimental to any immersion you hope the players are experiencing.

To the extent that the choices the players make in game have a rational connection to the underlying numbers, I'd rather not see them. By way of example, if choosing to be rude to someone in game will reduce their "player_like_value" by one, I don't need to see that. I like to be able to figure out that being rude will make someone like me less, which may, in turn, affect how they react to me in game.

I hope that makes sense.

3. Finally, any other tips or hints that you would give me on things you really like or dislike from other games?

If you start a game, finish it. I hate it when good games aren't finished. My advice is the have an ending point in mind when you start and work towards that ending.

Good luck.

 

[xxx_chris2018]

Awesome!! Thank you so much @fitgirlbestgirl , that's very helpful. Yes, I know I have not written nearly enough, that's definitely going to be my weak point and something I'm working on. I do try to give as many choices as I can. I try to think of all the things I'd want to do and incorporate all of those (which is why there are so many passages and so few words, haha)

As to the stats, thanks, I think that makes sense. The more I think about it, the more I'm the same way. Sometimes I pick a choice thinking it's going to be submissive or dominant, but then I see the text that says it went the other way, so I like to be able to back up and pick the one I was going for. Personally, I would prefer hidden for my first playthrough and then visible for subsequent playthroughs so that I can find every option. That sounds like a lot of work, but maybe I can figure out a way to give the player an option if they want to see it or not.

I'm definitely going to cater to as many fetishes as I can. I personally like many things, so I'm going to try to include them. I agree with avoiding ones that I don't like, which is why I couldn't include women here, I just don't think I'd be able to even find pictures, not my cup of tea.

 

[xxx_chris2018]

Thanks @Ryder77 !! I agree with the actors = immersion theory, I've always felt the same way. It can be limiting, especially if you want to include fetishes because you have to find an actor who does watersports, BDSM, etc. My goal will likely be to use the same actor and then only switch if there's absolutely nothing. Again, not to keep going back to @Megaduck , but their game was awesome. The times that they needed to use other actors, they were scenes that were very zoomed it, so you really couldn't see their faces. It made it seem less like it was another actor, so maybe that's the way to go.

I agree with the stats. I think it's a toss-up. I'm going to see if there's some code in SugarCube that I can use, maybe a variable that if true would hide all the text that's marked and if false, would display it. Then I can ask the player at the beginning if they want to see it or not and then everyone could be happy. It would give you the immersion that you want, the other poster the ability to make the decisions they want, and then people like me could have it hidden for the first game and appear for subsequent games when they want to find every option.

I'll be honest, the running out of steam is definitely a problem I may run into. I guess it'll really depend on how it's received. If I feel like I'm just writing for myself, then I'll probably lose interest at some point. However, if people are enjoying it, then I'll likely keep going because I'll be more motivated. I get that same frustration though. I find a game, love it, get through to where it ends and then see the last update was 2017. And I'm like damn, no hope of a new update I guess.

 

[fitgirlbestgirl]

I'm of two minds about this. On one hand, yes, it's good to see how you stand and how your choices affect the underlying numbers. On the other hand, it's way too easy to end up making choices simply to see the numbers change. In my view, that is detrimental to any immersion you hope the players are experiencing.

You can easily design around this by making your game forgiving enough so that the player doesn't have to have 90% whatever points to get scene X, but like 60% or whatever. Good Girl Gone Bad has your good girl/bad girl points in your face the whole game but you still don't have to "max" out your stats to get most scenes. I just like seeing what effect my choices have immediately, even if it doesn't really matter.

If you start a game, finish it.

I guess you'll always be able to use that one to your heart's content now :^)

Awesome!! Thank you so much @fitgirlbestgirl , that's very helpful. Yes, I know I have not written nearly enough, that's definitely going to be my weak point and something I'm working on. I do try to give as many choices as I can. I try to think of all the things I'd want to do and incorporate all of those (which is why there are so many passages and so few words, haha)

Writing makes or breaks sex scenes for me, way more than a pretty render or a sexy gif. Focus on it.

I'm definitely going to cater to as many fetishes as I can. I personally like many things, so I'm going to try to include them. I agree with avoiding ones that I don't like, which is why I couldn't include women here, I just don't think I'd be able to even find pictures, not my cup of tea.

M/M isn't my cup of tea, but I wish you luck with your game.

If I feel like I'm just writing for myself, then I'll probably lose interest at some point. However, if people are enjoying it, then I'll likely keep going because I'll be more motivated.

I read a post complaining about a lack of gay content just the other day. Pretty sure if your game is halfway decent people will be glad to have it.

 

[Ryder77]

You can easily design around this by making your game forgiving enough so that the player doesn't have to have 90% whatever points to get scene X, but like 60% or whatever. Good Girl Gone Bad has your good girl/bad girl points in your face the whole game but you still don't have to "max" out your stats to get most scenes. I just like seeing what effect my choices have immediately, even if it doesn't really matter.

Yes. But, on the other hand, you want the player's choices to matter such that, if they don't make certain decisions in a certain way, a particular result is not available. It's a balancing act.

I guess you'll always be able to use that one to your heart's content now :^)

Heh. Yes. To be fair, though, I felt that way before too.

Writing makes or breaks sex scenes for me, way more than a pretty render or a sexy gif. Focus on it.

Again, yes. And not just the writing of the scene, but the context in which the scene is placed.

And it's amazingly difficult to write a good sex scene, BTW.

 

[freedom.call]

Best of luck to you chris.

 

[fitgirlbestgirl]

And it's amazingly difficult to write a good sex scene, BTW.

Tastes differ so much as to what constitutes "sexy" writing. The wrong word can turn off half your audience. Most games settle on a bland non-offensive style that bores me to tears. But then I am a sick fuck.

 

[xxx_chris2018]

Tastes differ so much as to what constitutes "sexy" writing. The wrong word can turn off half your audience. Most games settle on a bland non-offensive style that bores me to tears. But then I am a sick fuck.

Hahah, well, I'll have to try to figure something out. This is definitely going to be the most difficult part for me.

What do you look for in the writing? Do you want it to be very descriptive? If so, describing the act in detail? Or the people? Both? Something else? Or include a variety of activities/fetishes? Or maybe it's something you just know it when you see it. I am really interested in finding out what kind of writing people like so that I can adapt the game to that, plus it'll help me with writing.

 

[fitgirlbestgirl]

What do you look for in the writing? Do you want it to be very descriptive? If so, describing the act in detail? Or the people? Both? Something else? Or include a variety of activities/fetishes? Or maybe it's something you just know it when you see it. I am really interested in finding out what kind of writing people like so that I can adapt the game to that, plus it'll help me with writing.

Having my fetishes checked off helps, but that doesn't make for good writing. It's a magical mix of using the right words at the right time, describing people's feelings without turning it into flowery poetry and having a good mix of prose and dialogue. And again, it's intensely personal, you will never please everybody. Personally I like my smut vulgar, if you tell me "he puts his member into her magical flower" I will cringe out of there. But some people will also hate it if you say cunt, but you won't have that problem at least I guess.

 

[xxx_chris2018]

Having my fetishes checked off helps, but that doesn't make for good writing. It's a magical mix of using the right words at the right time, describing people's feelings without turning it into flowery poetry and having a good mix of prose and dialogue. And again, it's intensely personal, you will never please everybody. Personally I like my smut vulgar, if you tell me "he puts his member into her magical flower" I will cringe out of there. But some people will also hate it if you say cunt, but you won't have that problem at least I guess.

Hahahaha, I literally laughed out loud at "he puts his member into her magical flower". Ok, no, my stuff is much more aggressive. I definitely don't use cunt, but I use dick, asshole, when they are conversing (there's a lot of domination), characters call other bitch or faggot (which I know some people may not like, but I use it to show dominance, not as a slur). I try to imagine in my head what I'd be saying or what I'd want being said to me and put that in there. Sometimes it feels forced. I think I might have a whole conversation in my head and then just put down a couple of lines and letting the player make up the rest... But that's not what this is, this is me telling a story, so I think I have to go into a lot more detail. Thanks for the input, it's really helpful.

 

[fitgirlbestgirl]

characters call other bitch or faggot (which I know some people may not like, but I use it to show dominance, not as a slur).

Well, not being afraid to offend people is definitely a good start.

 

[Papa Ernie]

1) As a person that's played a LOT of games using 'real porn', I've found that as long as the actors are generally similar (approximate build/hair color/# tattoos), then a suspension of disbelief is possible. Especially if the scene is set-up and written well.

2) Visibility of stats aren't that important to me as long as there is some feedback in the story to denote that stat changes have occurred and the effects are incrementally noticeable in the scenes and writing. I.e. you don't want a character to not even notice you until you 'magically' hit a target number, then be completely attracted to you, etc.

3) The one thing I would really like to see in a game is more, smaller events that reflect the relationships between characters and even random, small events that the mc can react to and earn stat increases/decreases.

Good luck with your game!

 

[xxx_chris2018]

1) As a person that's played a LOT of games using 'real porn', I've found that as long as the actors are generally similar (approximate build/hair color/# tattoos), then a suspension of disbelief is possible. Especially if the scene is set-up and written well.

2) Visibility of stats aren't that important to me as long as there is some feedback in the story to denote that stat changes have occurred and the effects are incrementally noticeable in the scenes and writing. I.e. you don't want a character to not even notice you until you 'magically' hit a target number, then be completely attracted to you, etc.

3) The one thing I would really like to see in a game is more, smaller events that reflect the relationships between characters and even random, small events that the mc can react to and earn stat increases/decreases.

Good luck with your game!

Thanks for the great feedback! I've seen that too, try to use the same actors, but use different ones when not possible. I like the ideas for how to keep them generally similar, I think that will keep the player more immersed. Definitely something I'll keep in mind when I finally pick actors besides me and my partner, haha.

Yeah, so that's how I was building it originally. Your NPC_likes_you score will be counted behind the scenes, but between 0-10, it'll say one thing on the relationship screen, another 11-20, etc., but without showing numbers. Further, there will be events where you might have 4 options, but 2 are blocked out because a stat isn't high enough. I would show the blocked out options and what stat isn't high enough, but I wouldn't say how high it needs to be. "You aren't strong enough to break that box." (for example.

That's a great idea. Now that I think about it, I like that it games too. The Company kinda has those built in and I guess they are working on more of a focus on that in the next coming updates. For me, I think I'm a ways off from that just because I just started learning SugarCube, CSS, and even HTML like 3 days ago. Right now, I'm sure all my coding is a complete mess and anybody with even a little knowledge could look at it and fix it up. I'm kinda going back and fixing things as I learn more. I'll definitely keep that into consideration and try to learn how to do that. For example, when the player goes to the gym to work out, maybe they just increase strength, or maybe they run into an NPC there and something happens. Have a little event like you suggest.

Thanks so much @Papa Ernie , great feedback!

 

[Ryder77]

Well, not being afraid to offend people is definitely a good start.

Yeah. Don't worry about that stuff.

 

[VixnSkye]

1. Very important. Sure, you can have multiple protagonist games, and from time to time you can show scenes that happen far from MC, but only as a spectator, not a controlled character. But when you have a specific MC, I think it's compulsory to stick to that, and not even show thoughts of others (that's rather bothering)

2. It's important to see how much money I have in the game, in case it has a money system. The relationship stats are another matter. Player has to have some feedback about the consequences of their actions. In real life you can read about the reactions of the others, but a VN doesn't have a subtle tool like this.

3. I hate when a game is all about porn. If I needed solely that, there are several sites I could go to. It needs to tell a story, that makes me feel like I belong in that. Plus it has to have a MC whom I can associate myself with. And the game has to have original ideas. I really don't need a hundredth version of the same boring story in the same boring setting. I'm also not much of a fan of that when a game has lengthy scenes that don't lead anywhere, nor move the story forward. That's one of the most common mistakes in VNs.

About your game specifically, it won't be my cup of tea, but I can tell you something for sure. 6,600 words can't be a lot. An 18 pages long porn novel of mine has 1.5 times more, and it's linear. So 6,600 words seem an awfully few for a VN that should be about paralel plotlines based on player choices.

 

[xxx_chris2018]

1. Very important. Sure, you can have multiple protagonist games, and from time to time you can show scenes that happen far from MC, but only as a spectator, not a controlled character. But when you have a specific MC, I think it's compulsory to stick to that, and not even show thoughts of others (that's rather bothering)

Thanks. I agree completely and that's what I had been focusing on. It will just limit some scenes because if the same actor doesn't do a specific type of scene, I wouldn't be able to include that. However, I could still just write about it and not actually include a picture of gif for that one scene. It seems to be rather unanimous here that this is at least somewhat important and having a different actor each time would destroy the immersion, at least to some extent.

2. It's important to see how much money I have in the game, in case it has a money system. The relationship stats are another matter. Player has to have some feedback about the consequences of their actions. In real life you can read about the reactions of the others, but a VN doesn't have a subtle tool like this.

Yeah, money and a few other stats will definitely be shown, because these could be counted in real life. Things like relationships and what not, I'll probably hide those initially and see if I can find a way to allow the player to toggle them for those who want to be able to see them.

3. I hate when a game is all about porn. If I needed solely that, there are several sites I could go to. It needs to tell a story, that makes me feel like I belong in that. Plus it has to have a MC whom I can associate myself with. And the game has to have original ideas. I really don't need a hundredth version of the same boring story in the same boring setting. I'm also not much of a fan of that when a game has lengthy scenes that don't lead anywhere, nor move the story forward. That's one of the most common mistakes in VNs.

Great feedback! This is difficult because everyone is going to be able to associate with different things. I like the idea though that I need to make the player feel like the belong in, which I think can be done with a broader audience (and definitely not something I've done up to this point). I do think I'm guilty of scenes that don't move the story forward, so I'm going to have to go back and revisit those.

About your game specifically, it won't be my cup of tea, but I can tell you something for sure. 6,600 words can't be a lot. An 18 pages long porn novel of mine has 1.5 times more, and it's linear. So 6,600 words seem an awfully few for a VN that should be about paralel plotlines based on player choices.

I really, really appreciate the feedback, especially given that you won't likely play this game (which I understand, not everyone is going to want m/m only games). I have literally been working on this for like 4 days, so it's nowhere near even being ready for the first release (besides that all the pictures are of me and my partner so far, which I won't be releasing either). I'm up to 10,000 words now, but it needs a lot more. Based on the feedback that I've gotten so far, I've probably tripled (or more) the average words per screen. I'm going to go back to the beginning screens and add more. This is also only Day 1 of the game that I've been working on so far, with nothing for Day 2. There is a lot of branching and it would be impossible to see everything in Day 1 in even 4-5 playthroughs. So, I'll likely reuse some of the content for other days. It'll vary because as you do certain scenes, you change stats that will give you access to other scenes. There will also be new scenes each day that get closer and closer towards the end of the story. I am, hoping, that the game will have at least 2 weeks worth of content total, with 3-4 days ready before v0.1.0 gets released. I also expect 50k-60k words by that time.

My goal in asking for this feedback (which has been great) with so little done is really just to make sure I'm on the right track. And I'm really happy about the feedback because I was definitely making this a light reading, heavy picture game, which appears to be the opposite of what people want (although it's actually easier to do). Now that I've started writing more and focusing on pictures less, I'm actually enjoying it more too as I can let my imagination run more. So, thanks so much for your feedback!!

 

[DawnCry]

1. Is continuity of actors important to you? For example, in The Retreat, Megaduck picked Johnny Rapid for the player character. Nearly every scene that involves the player involved the same actor. I really enjoyed this, but it limits your writing because if the actor didn't do a scene for something you want to do, you can't write about it. This is one of the reasons I created it, so far, with myself, because if I'm missing any pictures, I can just take them. Or, is that something that doesn't matter to you?

It's necessary the continuity, mainly because multiple characters it's really hard to like them all at the same level, even more it can easily fall into 2 storylines in 1 game.

However you can always show scenes related to voyeurism or even add magic items that let you spy on others.

P.D: To solve some of those issues when you are a sissy or other state you can change to another actor you know.

2. Is visibility of stats important to you? 2 parts to this. The first part is visibility of current stats. Things like money will always be displayed because you can count those. However, relationship between people don't have number values in real life. I'd use numbers behind the scenes, but then give you a blurb about the relationship depending on where the score falls. Or would you rather be able to see the number, so you can figure out where you are? The second part is visibility of changes. Do you want to see if that score goes up or down when you click on a link? Or does having that hidden make it feel more like a game (and more of a challenge)?

Is stat visibility a must? no way, however what may be necessary is an indicator that actually represents your relationship with a character, basically for example you could create ranges of numbers and say something like:
0 to 25 the character is friendly with you
26 to 50 the character likes you
51 to 75 the character is in love with you
76 to 100 the character is extremely in love with you.

This is just a simplification of that question, but basically it would be good to just give a bit of information about our current relationship with a character.

About the visibility of changes of those stats I would say it depends on many factors, basically the main one would be if you want to do a good quality writting in the game or a regular one. In a good one you don't need to do it, in a regular or bad one it's a must. So the only question on this point is what generates the difference between good writing and bad one:

-Good writing gives clear options with clear effects when given, the effects don't have to be clear but the game should give you enough clues before you get to the option. Surprise effects for your options are literally hateful.

-Good writing requires that conversations aren't defined in "good option and bad option", but rather many are in a grey area, for example telling your daughter to not go out like a slut may have an immediate negative effect on that stat, but in future conversations it can reverse it to be positive, the same with not saying anything and letting her go like that, if something happens it's gonna bite you in the back and she will feel that you don't care about her.

-Good writing requires characters with clear desires and objectives, basically they need to feel human overall. Giving stupid motives or reasonings goes against it.

3. Finally, any other tips or hints that you would give me on things you really like or dislike from other games?

I like free mode, I don't like the grindy part of free mode, how to solve that? situations that alter the circunstances of an NPC, imagine that you are currently a male MC and you are with your girlfriend, but a random effect has it that one day your girlfriend was seeing porn and she found sissy porn and got interested in it.

You as the player and your circunstances would have an effect over that situation. How corrupted is your wife? is she the dominant partner?, will you become a sissy or just roleplay in the bedroom? perhaps you are the dominant one and will refuse?.

The question that some people may ask is "but I don't like any type of randomness, why should I have to deal with it?", to solve that issue you can take a part of the randomness by saying what fetishes can generate a character and under what conditions, better if it is in a guide outside the game.

 

[VixnSkye]

Thanks. I agree completely and that's what I had been focusing on. It will just limit some scenes because if the same actor doesn't do a specific type of scene, I wouldn't be able to include that. However, I could still just write about it and not actually include a picture of gif for that one scene. It seems to be rather unanimous here that this is at least somewhat important and having a different actor each time would destroy the immersion, at least to some extent.

It all comes down to how you'd like to represent your story. For example if you really want to give an experience to the player that feels like it's happening to them, you should ditch the scenes that doesn't include him completely. If he doesn't know something at a part of the story, the player shouldn't either. BUT if you aim for a little bit more movie like experience, and share information with the player that MC doesn't know, then you should make those scenes just like all the others, except this time write them as a narrator, not in a character's perspective. They are absolutely acceptable that way. If it's done well, player perspective, and third person representation can work together in one product, you just have to respect some rules. #1, you should never, never-never EVER mix these two in one scene. A scene should always be from one perspective. One of the most annoying, amateurish mistakes (that still make many game creator) is when they jump perspective to perspective in one scene. MC says something, thinks something, then other character thinks something about what MC said, and also says something. It's a huge no-no.
I ventured a little far from the topic, didn't I? So, all in all, don't be affraid to make those scenes without MC if you think they are important to the story. Just do them well. There is one more trick however that you can use, to avoid third person perspective scenes, in case MC can know about what happens in them. He can learn it somehow. From a conversation with someone, he can eavesdrop, someone else can eavesdrop and learn it from them, etc. You can't do it with many scenes, but an average few hours long VN can include two or three like this without being bothering.

Yeah, money and a few other stats will definitely be shown, because these could be counted in real life. Things like relationships and what not, I'll probably hide those initially and see if I can find a way to allow the player to toggle them for those who want to be able to see them.

You don't have to tell players numerically how others feel about MC, but you should tell them about it somehow. Sure, a numerical value is the easiest way, and honestly, not even a bad one, but you can try more subtle approach, however that means much more work. For example, characters can speak with a different tone based on their relationship with MC. If they like him, be kinder, if neutral, be neutral, and so on. It needs a LOT of plus work of course. Another thing you can do is to show different facial emotions when an event changes their opinion about the player. I mean different pictures, in that case, you just have to make a few more sprites for the game, but it doesn't need complete rewrite of scenes according to the relationship of the player with the NPC. The first rule here is "Show, don't tell" You can show these emotions, but don't explain them as that ruines the experience completely. Another thing that can make this relationship thing better without showing numerical values, is to have a system that collects what player learns from the NPCs. For example, if I were an NPC in your game, players wouldn't know anything about me at first, so they would see my name, picture and a blank datasheet, but during conversations they would learn things, and your game system would collect these important information on that datasheet. So, after a few conversations it would say: "Skye, likes metal, bikes, tattoos, and librarian like girls" so players would know without much feedback that starting a conversation with me about Justin Bieber won't make me like them more.

Great feedback! This is difficult because everyone is going to be able to associate with different things. I like the idea though that I need to make the player feel like the belong in, which I think can be done with a broader audience (and definitely not something I've done up to this point). I do think I'm guilty of scenes that don't move the story forward, so I'm going to have to go back and revisit those.

The first thing is to be true to yourself. It's completely impossible to make a game that everybody likes, so make one that YOU like, and probably it will find its audience. If small, small, but it's much more satisfying to produce something that you like, than something you don't but others do. You probably don't do it for the money, so don't care about how broad the audience will be, just enjoy producing it. I most certainly don't advise you to be sloppy, you should give your best, and improve your style and knowledge (I don't know how these are at the moment, but even if you are super great, there's always room for improvement) but never give up enjoy doing it. So many people lost their passion for something just because they wanted to make something that pleases everyone.
For example, if you like those scenes that don't move the story forward, you shouldn't rewrite them just because I said I personally don't like the kinds of these. That's my taste, but it doesn't mean others won't like it either. Just think like this: if you rewrite something because someone said they didn't like it this way, where would that stop? Again, as long as you make a game for fun, your enjoyment, and artistical vision should come first.