Honestly I don't self-insert at all, in any game. I'd generally prefer female protagonist because I find what's going on in the sub's head to be the most interesting part, but if it's done well enough that from the outside you can kinda see how she's feeling about stuff (other than 'omg dick so good it overwrites my personality!') I don't mind. The NTR perspective is a total non-factor for me, it's just that I like there to be some emotional impact behind the sex, which NTR as a genre at least
attempts to do.
Compare
News Desk to
Incubus City, for example. Both male protag, both non-con centered. News Desk however the protagonist has personal motivation: The woman he's breaking is his rival, and she screwed him over. We've got an emotional motivation, and I loved this game despite not an incredible amount content in terms of artwork and scenes. Incubus City, you're just a horny rapist who's never met 99% of the characters, so despite all the content I find all the sex scenes to be one-dimensional and boring as hell.