Kink vs Fetish

Pretentious Goblin

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Nov 3, 2017
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I suspect for most people, "kinks" are more socially-acceptable / recognizable things, and "fetish" implies obsession and / or more outlandish stuff.
 

Geigi

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Jul 7, 2017
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Kinks are something that you are generally into like a BDSM but not necessarily practice it and fetish is basically the same but the only difference is that you are strongly practice BDSM because you can't get aroused otherwise. For example, men who have femdom fetish, they pay for Dominatrix to degrade them and humiliate them without having sex.
 
Dec 7, 2019
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I suspect for most people, "kinks" are more socially-acceptable / recognizable things, and "fetish" implies obsession and / or more outlandish stuff.
Kinks are something that you are generally into like a BDSM but not necessarily practice it and fetish is basically the same but the only difference is that you are strongly practice BDSM because you can't get aroused otherwise. For example, men who have femdom fetish, they pay for Dominatrix to degrade them and humiliate them without having sex.
Guess next question applies for both of you, so do people use the term kink to downplay a fetish? I.e. try fit in socially (as weird as that sounds).
 

Geigi

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Guess next question applies for both of you, so do people use the term kink to downplay a fetish? I.e. try fit in socially (as weird as that sounds).
Probably. There are those who think it's the same so they use both terminology to say what they are into. What I know is that I knew of the term fetish long before I learned the term kink. Fetish is before it was a "mainstream" used to be seen as a negative like women wonder along themselves why are men such a feet fetishists.
 
Dec 7, 2019
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Probably. There are those who think it's the same so they use both terminology to say what they are into. What I know is that I knew of the term fetish long before I learned the term kink. Fetish is before it was a "mainstream" used to be seen as a negative like women wonder along themselves why are men such a feet fetishists.
Just off the words I guess a kink can be straitened? It seems a way to soften something you want to do, but is it also a gateway to a fetish? Again I legit have no idea, and it is not something you can ask outside of something like a porn forum ;)
 

anne O'nymous

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Kinks are something that you are generally into like a BDSM but not necessarily practice it and fetish is basically the same but the only difference is that you are strongly practice BDSM because you can't get aroused otherwise.
I would have said more or less the same, but with a small difference:
Kinks are something optional that will spice your sexuality, while Fetish are mandatory to your sexuality.
Someone with a feet kink will take great pleasure if he get a footjob, while someone with a feet fetish will need to play (the way his fetish express itself for him) with his partner feet.


But yeah, if you add porn into the equation, then your definition fit better.
By example, peoples with a futa kink will play futa games, but doesn't necessarily want their girl IRL to have a dick or wear a strap-on. This while peoples with at futa fetish like to be pegged.
 

prpa

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But yeah, if you add porn into the equation, then your definition fit better.
By example, peoples with a futa kink will play futa games, but doesn't necessarily want their girl IRL to have a dick or wear a strap-on. This while peoples with at futa fetish like to be pegged.
For anyone who’s seen me commenting in futa game threads, I just want to clarify that I have a futa kink, not a fetish. :KEK:
 

MissCougar

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Feb 20, 2025
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Kinks are something that you are generally into like a BDSM but not necessarily practice it and fetish is basically the same but the only difference is that you are strongly practice BDSM because you can't get aroused otherwise. For example, men who have femdom fetish, they pay for Dominatrix to degrade them and humiliate them without having sex.
I agree with this!

A kink is something you like and when it pops up, you enjoy whatever is happening around it a little extra. While you enjoy it, it's not your lifestyle and you're not very public about it.

A fetish is a kink that has grown up and now you actively seek it out, may make it part of your lifestyle, and you are a lot more public and open about it. You don't mind putting yourself as associated with this thing in real life.


For example, even though there's a lot of posters here, for most of them it's a kink. For the developers and people on Twitter/Youtube promoting the games it may be a fetish.
 

Rafster

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Kinks are something optional that will spice your sexuality, while Fetish are mandatory to your sexuality.
I agree fully with this.

A kink is more a optional thing to add to your sexuality, something that can be skipped and there's no problem there. Whereas, a fetish, it's something mandatory to your sexuality, if that's not present you won't be aroused at all.

One would think, by my avatar and game, that I have a fetish for hairy, big men (from there the bear thing), but the truth is... my real and only fetish is masculine men (and many times they don't have hair or being big dudes), I only work if I'm with a dude that looks... like a dude. Feminine gays (or femboys), traps, transwomen or futa... even though they have a penis, their feminity turns me off, big time.

Bear-like guys, bearded guys or even very masculine trans men, they are really hot to me, but they're not mandatory.
 

Count Morado

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Legitimately interested, can anyone explain the difference here? There might be, I just haven't really grasped it yet.
"Kink" is a broad term that refers to a wide variety of consensual, non-traditional sexual, sensual, and intimate behaviors.( )
Some examples of kinks include: BDSM, roleplay, group sex, voyeurism, use of sex toys. ( )
A kink is anything that both falls outside of the typical boundaries of what society has deemed “normal” sexually and is arousing.
Because what qualifies as a kink is dependent on what your social sphere qualifies as normal, it’s highly dependent on a variety of factors, including:
  • time
  • social circle
  • media exposure
  • sexual history and the sexual history of your partner(s) ( )
"Fetish" is a more narrow term that describes people with an erotic or intimate interest in specific non-genital body parts, fabrics, smells, fluids, costumes and other non-human objects.( )
A fetish could be an inanimate object (high heels, leather, latex), a specific body part (breasts, feet), or a type of partner. A fetish is different compared to a kink in that a fetish must be present for gratification, where a kink isn’t necessarily required for satisfying sex. ( )
The most widely cited definition of a fetish is that it’s anything that:
  1. falls outside of the typical boundaries of what society has deemed “normal” sexual activity
  2. is arousing
  3. must be present for someone to experience pleasure
Basically, this definition describes fetish as a sexual need (while a kink is a sexual preference). ( )

More from ( ): Basically, this definition describes fetish as a sexual need (while a kink is a sexual preference).
“In the present, it’s less common for sex educators to define fetishes as things that MUST be part of sex,” says Queen. “Instead, a newer definition says that fetishes are things that are erotic superchargers.”
For example, someone with a redhead fetish may be able to have (and enjoy!) sex with someone who doesn’t have red hair, she says. “But red hair is still special and lets us experience eroticism in an especially powerful way than when it isn’t present,” she explains.

Even more from ( ): “Someone who finds wearing high heel shoes while having sex to be arousing has a high heel kink,” she says. “But someone who NEEDS high heels to be present during sex in order to experience arousal has a high heel fetish.”
Sometimes, the distinction is defined as the difference between being particularly aroused by a particular sex act, geographical location, or sexual dynamic (kink), and being particularly aroused by a certain object, material, or nongenital body part (fetish).
Some questions you might ask yourself if you’re trying to determine whether something is a kink or a fetish:
  • Is what I’m aroused by a thing or an action?
  • Do I need it to be present to experience arousal?
  • Can you enjoy without this being present?

From me:
A layman's way to think of it - not exact, but gets the general idea across:
Kink involves action (verb) and Fetish involves object (noun)
 
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fitgirlbestgirl

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A kink is more a optional thing to add to your sexuality, something that can be skipped and there's no problem there. Whereas, a fetish, it's something mandatory to your sexuality, if that's not present you won't be aroused at all.
But nobody says they have a "foot kink" instead of a foot fetish and yet that doesn't usually mean they can only get off to feet.

To me it seems like the word kink has gotten used more over the years because it's more cutesy and harmless and less medical sounding. "I'm not weird, I'm not one of those fetish people, it's just a kink, bro."
 
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Rafster

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But nobody says they have a "foot kink" instead of a foot fetish and yet that doesn't usually mean they can only get off to feet.
Well, they should because they are using the word incorrectly. But again, many, many BDSM sites and fans use the "fetish" word loosely just to make them look more edgy and transgressor, when precisely they mean things like that.
 

IBreedWives

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Jan 11, 2025
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Nah, don't you know that everyone into futa MUST be gay? There's no other possible reason then that. /s
until someone can explain to me in a convincing manner why on earth you would want a female to have a giant cock attached to her, i will continue to assume that yes people into futa are clearly homosexual, just the same as i assume people into trannies are homosexual
 

Insomnimaniac Games

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May 25, 2017
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until someone can explain to me in a convincing manner
Well, that's the issue. You don't want to be convinced. You want to be set in your ways, because otherwise that would be admitting you're wrong and you can't handle that. You can't handle your worldview being challenged, so you assume everyone else must be wrong.