Kink vs Fetish

[anne O'nymous]

Dude, you're making an excuse - not a reason. Yes, AON is from France - but he knew the term (even if he defined it in the wrong way)

When a british say that he'll eat "fish and chips", and define the chips as being fried potato sticks. Will you say that he wrongly defined the word, or assume that the word probably doesn't mean the same for him and for you?

I used, and defined, the word as it was intended for something like 40 years of my life. More, I used it as it was used by homosexuals/transgenders teenagers I talked with when I was a volunteer trying to help them. And I can assure you that there were no malice, and even less mischief intent, in their mind when they were using it; especially when they used it to define themselves. Some where girl, some where tall, some where shemale.
Now, yes, the word meaning changed in French since ~15 years, and apparently since way longer in US English. Should I have know it? Well, if I were still volunteering I would perhaps have noticed it. But like I'm not, and like I don't surround myself with short minded idiots that now use it as an insult, it was totally unnoticed to me.

It's like native from Lapland, "lappish"/"lapon"; both apparently are valid UK English translation.
Everyone used the word, or the equivalent in their language, for much more longer than my life. Yet it happen that it's an insult, the pejorative way used in the past in Finland to call those "uncivilized" peoples, based on a Finish word that have a meaning near to "rags".
A long long time ago, when foreigners came to Finland, they asked people, "hey, how do you call them", and they got an answer, that they translated in their language. Then people in their country started to use that word, centuries after centuries, unknowingly perpetuating the insult made to those people, unknowingly belittling them without ill intent in mind. Unlike in Finish at those time, in those languages the word mean "native people from Lapland", not "lousy peoples". Yet, using this word in place of "Sami" is offensive, right? Have you been unknowingly offensive all your life until now?

And there's thousand of cases like this, especially when it come to English, but not limited to it. All languages include foreign words, and their meaning isn't always the same than what it became in their original language; nor, like for my example above, does it have the same intent, and by there meaning, than in their original language.

 

[anne O'nymous]

I also feel slightly responsible for whatever happened here for asking for a gay scale.

Tss tss, you aren't at all.

Apparently that wasn't the best idea.

If there were a bad idea, it was to answer you, not you asking.




And by the way, sorry for the triple post. But they obviously couldn't be a single one, too different topics.

 

[Count Morado]

When a british say that he'll eat "fish and chips", and define the chips as being fried potato sticks. Will you say that he wrongly defined the word, or assume that the word probably doesn't mean the same for him and for you?

I used, and defined, the word as it was intended for something like 40 years of my life. More, I used it as it was used by homosexuals/transgenders teenagers I talked with when I was a volunteer trying to help them. And I can assure you that there were no malice, and even less mischief intent, in their mind when they were using it; especially when they used it to define themselves. Some where girl, some where tall, some where shemale.
Now, yes, the word meaning changed in French since ~15 years, and apparently since way longer in US English. Should I have know it? Well, if I were still volunteering I would perhaps have noticed it. But like I'm not, and like I don't surround myself with short minded idiots that now use it as an insult, it was totally unnoticed to me.

It's like native from Lapland, "lappish"/"lapon"; both apparently are valid UK English translation.
Everyone used the word, or the equivalent in their language, for much more longer than my life. Yet it happen that it's an insult, the pejorative way used in the past in Finland to call those "uncivilized" peoples, based on a Finish word that have a meaning near to "rags".
A long long time ago, when foreigners came to Finland, they asked people, "hey, how do you call them", and they got an answer, that they translated in their language. Then people in their country started to use that word, centuries after centuries, unknowingly perpetuating the insult made to those people, unknowingly belittling them without ill intent in mind. Unlike in Finish at those time, in those languages the word mean "native people from Lapland", not "lousy peoples". Yet, using this word in place of "Sami" is offensive, right? Have you been unknowingly offensive all your life until now?

And there's thousand of cases like this, especially when it come to English, but not limited to it. All languages include foreign words, and their meaning isn't always the same than what it became in their original language; nor, like for my example above, does it have the same intent, and by there meaning, than in their original language.

I'm sorry AON, you just "mansplained" to an English composition, literature, and creative writing instructor everything that person already knew.

We can keep hashing this out, if you want. I obviously wasn't clear enough for you in my first post about your use of the word and so when you used it again, I was clearer.

Now you know.

 

[fyl3toys]

Cant we all mansplain along?

 

[Jaike]

I was confused by "shemale" too, but AON clearly didn't mean trans woman there. I just assumed it meant something like twink, queen, or flamer... I just saw it's "ladyboy" now, that confuses me even more. I think that's a kinda wide term for people in Asia in the area of Thailand and Vietnam that includes trans women too...

But I think that was a diversion worth 5 posts at most. There was somebody else on the same page posting about "tranny", for the 2nd time. But there are limits imo to "no bad intent" too, but good will goes a long way. AON has indeed spent lots of posts and words on the transphobic dumbfucks of CoomerZone, I can confirm that. Though it isn't like I'm delicate when it comes to words, you may have noticed, so I better don't throw stones...

Ugh, saved pic for... research purposes, yeah, research purposes. Some trans men look so fucking masculine that most men would look like girls compared to them (I'm exagerating, but you get the point). It's a minority inside a minority, few trans men get to that point. It doesn't seem to be the case of trans women, where many get to a point that they could compete in a beauty contest with actual biological women.

I must admit I fapped to some vids of transmen that look like the one on the pic, but as Buck Angel pointed out recently on a live on YT, it's just a kink. I don't even think I'll come to see a trans man ever in my country, and even if I do, I dunno if I would actually perform the same as if he were a biological men, so no, still no contact with a vagina during my whole life, birth included. My gay card is safe, no bisexualism near.

That's why I give the benefit of the doubt the straight men that fap out on trans women porn, or those who love futas. They may be straights indeed where the only dick they ever know is theirs. The only part that gets me, is why some come so disgusted with trans women while they drool for futas, even imagining sucking their dicks out (what tanstaafl asked earlier), they could at least be civil, you know.

Yes it's definitely very fair to say these very masculine trans men are an exception. But the thing is that they were female assigned when they were born, and the ones I use as an example still have a vagina. It's a valid "problem" to throw at people who say "there's a dick, that's gay".

Now I know some people that could answer your and tanstaafl's question about futa porn and trans porn, but let's say I've had a history with them. Not sure they'd respond if I tagged them, or appreciate that.

Pffh, who cares about an online title? It is as Schopenhauer states: "It is what a man IS that is the most conducive to his inner happiness, as opposed to what a man HAS."

Yes for anyone wondering I've finished reading 'The World as Will and Idea' and have now moved onto his 'Wisdom of Life & Counsel and Maxims'.

You do know I was joking there, futaman? Okay, not about MissCougar not being a futa, but there may have been a hint of irony there too...

Also Jaike smells.

Oh, so you are joking!

Or were you serious, and the line's just incomplete? So something like "great", "tremendous", or "better than my wife" was just omitted.

Now, if by example you decide to call it "War Syndrome", what one will read behind this? Someone who consider war as being harsh will probably read it like PTSD. But an idiot redneck, a wanabe gansta will see it as something positive; you became a Rambo, but as seen in Rambo II, not as depicted in the first movie.

Ironically, it was called "war neurosis" for a while, along "combat fatigue". I bet the neurosis part probably reduced the appeal for shirtless Rambos however.

Now I wonder what tanstaafl's 4th term was. Maybe "trauma brain"? "Triggers"? They're related to PTSD.

 

[Count Morado]

By the way, speaking of English and French, as well as the labeling and lives of transgender people --

I recommend the attached story about a young person in thirteenth century England, set in the Arthurian legends, who was raised a different gender than that of their birth for a very specific reason by their parents. While there are several instances that may cause some to question the open-mindedness of the author regarding gender - it is quite modern, even for today. Particularly so when one considers this was written nearly 800 years ago.

The PDF presents the story in both the original French of the time and in late twentieth century English on facing pages.

Spoiler: INTRODUCTION to the translation - also spoiler of story

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[tanstaafl]

Now I wonder what @tanstaafl's 4th term was. Maybe "trauma brain"? "Triggers"? They're related to PTSD.

My old brain had it out of order, there was another between battle fatigue and PTSD. Operational Exhaustion.

Shell shock -> battle fatigue -> operational exhaustion -> PTSD