First of all, I agree with you Aphex. Ridiculously oversized male and female physical attributes are way more common in these adult games than they need to be. As a man with an average sized penis who prefers small breasts (but otherwise still enjoys feminine curves), I tend to have perpetual difficulty finding VN's that I can truly enjoy. After all, there aren't very many games that feature female love interests whose breasts aren't overly large, but at the same time with the feminine, naturally curvy (but not exaggerated) physique that isn't excessively lean at the same time. I became quite drawn to Holly from a post-apocalyptic game My Fallen Angels for this very reason, because she just looks like a natural, healthy young woman with small enough (in comparison to those huge ones from many other games! lol) breasts and enough meat on her bones without getting into the obese category.
Still, I try to compromise where my heart and my intellect can afford to do so. This usually comes in the form of a really good story that has a likeable MC as well as likeable romantic interests. For example, despite his having a massive dick, I loved playing as the MC of Now & Then (fine, Honey Select rendering is far from being 'realistic' visually speaking, but bear with me), because he had other qualities about him that made it easy for me to relate to him. But I've played games where the ridiculously endowed MC also happened to be a jerk, or was too much of a wuss, or both, in which cases I would find myself unable to quite get into the MC's character emotionally/mentally. I do, however, believe this may be different for those who tend not to "self-insert".
The whole subject of the breast size has come up before, and I have participated in these discussions on a couple of separate occasions myself. During such discussions, I have learned that there is more to the "big-tit-fest" phenomenon than a simple matter of people preferring exaggerated body shapes for quick sexual release, or of developing teams' trying to go for what they believe to be "better aesthetics". Reason being, all this is subjective depending on each individual's personal preferences. It's not a "one size fits all" template when it comes to what people find as sexually desirable. In other words, not everyone can automatically become aroused by overly big breasts and asses, and not everyone finds exaggerated physical attributes "aesthetically pleasing".
From what I have gathered, however, there also seems to be some sort of societal pressure put onto developers who create games that feature, for example, female characters with small breasts and, apparently, platforms such as Patreon would implement this kind of pressure tactics to practically (or, perhaps literally?) threaten these developers that their contents be banned unless they make the breasts of their female characters bigger. As far as I know, this information comes from at least one actual developer who has witnessed it happen firsthand, so I personally would like to perceive it as credible. I think this is how these platforms try to protect their own asses in case some people say the wrong things about the way the female characters "appear", and in turn begin to attract the unwanted attention.
This infuriates me because it essentially could be regarded as a propaganda to attempt stripping those of us who prefer small breasts of our basic right to have this otherwise natural preference, thus rendering us unable to fully enjoy the VN experience. It also sends the message that small breasts are not desirable, which is small-tit-shaming in my book. Ironically, even porn sites and adult webcam sites actually acknowledge the small tits niche. In the realm of (for example) 3DCG VN's, however, apparently all bets are off. The developer mentioned above has suspected that platforms such as Patreon would regard the breast size of B-cup as "too small".
As for the whole MILF thing, generally speaking I am not into that, so I can't really comment on it without making my opinion seem irrelevant to this particular thread.
