Looking for advice, criticism, feedback.

[Ricktor]

Ok I better give a little background first. 2 months ago I was swinging a hammer for a living, I used the computer for porn-hub and email. There now you know my skill set. Well with the virus I couldn't work so I started poking around and ended up on Daz website, and from there I somehow got hooked into RenPy. Well 2 months later, I have the start of a VN, some garbage renders, and a Daz studio program with assets all over the freaking place. I can't find anything anymore. Anyway I was about to hit the delete button on it all, but I couldn't. So much work, and I did get better over time. And I had big plans for the story. Right now its linear, with no choices, I was going to start with 4 different major paths and 2 sub paths from them for 8 total endings. I don't know how to code so I don't think I can go beyond that, and keep it as simple as renders and storyline.

What I was looking for is a developer or two to look over what I have and tell me "yeah, you are best off hitting the delete button", or "maybe you can still salvage something here." I was learning a lot as I went along, but some of the dialogue and renders in the beginning are painfully bad. If its not a complete wash, maybe some constructive criticism would be nice as well. Then finally if there is something there to work with, how do you ever go from a RenPy game on my PC, to something on F95.

I know I am asking a lot, so please if you have a game or a Patreon account, I would be more than happy to subscribe and look at your game in return. Hell it will probably give me a chance to learn something at the same time. I'm not sure how to get the RenPy to anyone willing to take a look, so I am uploading it to Mega. I'm not sure if I am allowed to attach it here in the thread or not. Its about 600mg. Thank you in advance to anyone willing! I guess I will PM the Mega link to anyone interested. Is that the best way?

I should probably add, its a rather dark story, Vampires, Succubus, generally a dark tale. and I guess I will leave this here also if anyone has the time

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[Ricktor]

Oh, in case you posted in the wrong section, see it says Completed Recruitment.

You can try General Discussions, a couple screenshots, and I'm sure some people can help.

Hope you find what you're looking for.

Thank you! Yeah I should have been more careful. This isn't where I thought I was, lol. Now how do you move these things?lol.

 

[Cul]

Oh, can try reporting it together

 

[Ricktor]

Oh, can try reporting it together

Thank you for your help!

 

[GNVE]

I don't have the time for a deep dive right now (and I don't know if I'd give the best opinion) but the renders look decent enough. seen a lot worse in games on these sites.
I doubt it's a complete wash. even if you would need to change the beginning. What is important no matter what is that you get something out there. Finishing your first project very important. I usually give the advice to keep the first project(s) short to get that success (bit late in this case though). My first project was 10 minutes. second one will be around 30ish only after that will I have made enough blunders to have the confidence to start a larger overly confident megalomaniac project.
I'd say, don't get to discouraged by the best games on here but be encouraged by the worst games on here. If they can make it you can and probably do better. Don't expect to rake in the dough within a month just dilligently keep working on your project daily until you have a version that you can release (but don't wait to long, there is no perfect.)

 

[Ricktor]

I'd say, don't get to discouraged by the best games on here but be encouraged by the worst games on here.

What great advice. I was discouraged because I was having such a good time working with Daz 3d. I'm still having fun with it, but I have 0 experience with computer programming, so making a really cool game is out of my reach right now. I'm starting to think I should just put it out there, and learn from my mistakes. I just don't want to give someone false hope that they are going to be downloading a game from a true developer. Thank you for your input, it is much appreciated.

 

[Saki_Sliz]

2 months ago I was swinging a hammer for a living, I used the computer for porn-hub and email. There now you know my skill set

That's me, except it happened 6 years ago, and I had already been making games 4 years prior. But then notice my account, it certainly doesn't say I'm a game dev. But I've been trying!

Here's what I can say. You can keep going, it just means you have bigger balls than me. Or you can start over, do a better job, but at the risk of never completing anything or going anywhere, slowly hating yourself. Not that the latter is a bad thing.

From what I have learned is that doing projects, just jumping headlong into them, is the best way to learn, the fastest, but maybe not the right way to learn. You don't know what you don't know so you are bound to miss some stuff (self taught electronics but university showed me what I missed), and if you jump into a project for the first time, you start having to ask yourself some really stupid question. How do I get the game to open up, how do I make a button show up, how do I make a number count up? Shit that makes you feel like an idiot for googling. But it's like tearing a bandaid off. But technically after getting through the basics, you still don't know what you are doing. For me, I've started tons of project, mostly not because I want to bring them to life, but because after the basics, it is up to you to figure out how to break down problems (games) into manageable parts and then coding each part (or just figuring out how much work goes into a project), and now an then you may decide to watch a video, it gives you an idea, and then you want to try to implement a new idea, if nothing more than to test it.

Since I'm a perfectionist, I don't keep working on projects to the end. I mostly get a few systems working, but then I know that there must be a better way of doing things, and there are. One test may be a new spin on an old idea and over the years as you test enough ideas, eventually, everything starts to come together to make it easy to make cool projects. Its possible, but, you have to accomplish nothing really tangible for years, hate yourself for years, be a lazy piece of shit that never finishes/publish anything, but the moment you want to do something for real or someone asks you to do something (ie I program for robotic clubs) you could show off just how much you know and feel like a god as you get some serious work done.

So you can hide your shame (i know i do), but become a god in a few years, after self-hating yourself the whole time.
or you can show your stuff, hate the shame but there will be at least a few people that really like/appreciate what you do, and you still get to feel like a god in a few years with experience (may take longer or you may be stuck in a particular niche if only end up focusing on completing projects and not exploring enough). You may make more friends with this way since you'll be socializing more.

But that all assumes you are able to stick with it long enough to get better, regardless of which path you choose. Since I have so much fun experimenting that is what allows me to keep coming back without having to really commit to anything.

that's my two cents.

 

[Ricktor]

That's me, except it happened 6 years ago, and I had already been making games 4 years prior. But then notice my account, it certainly doesn't say I'm a game dev. But I've been trying!

Here's what I can say. You can keep going, it just means you have bigger balls than me. Or you can start over, do a better job, but at the risk of never completing anything or going anywhere, slowly hating yourself. Not that the latter is a bad thing.

From what I have learned is that doing projects, just jumping headlong into them, is the best way to learn, the fastest, but maybe not the right way to learn. You don't know what you don't know so you are bound to miss some stuff (self taught electronics but university showed me what I missed), and if you jump into a project for the first time, you start having to ask yourself some really stupid question. How do I get the game to open up, how do I make a button show up, how do I make a number count up? Shit that makes you feel like an idiot for googling. But it's like tearing a bandaid off. But technically after getting through the basics, you still don't know what you are doing. For me, I've started tons of project, mostly not because I want to bring them to life, but because after the basics, it is up to you to figure out how to break down problems (games) into manageable parts and then coding each part (or just figuring out how much work goes into a project), and now an then you may decide to watch a video, it gives you an idea, and then you want to try to implement a new idea, if nothing more than to test it.

Since I'm a perfectionist, I don't keep working on projects to the end. I mostly get a few systems working, but then I know that there must be a better way of doing things, and there are. One test may be a new spin on an old idea and over the years as you test enough ideas, eventually, everything starts to come together to make it easy to make cool projects. Its possible, but, you have to accomplish nothing really tangible for years, hate yourself for years, be a lazy piece of shit that never finishes/publish anything, but the moment you want to do something for real or someone asks you to do something (ie I program for robotic clubs) you could show off just how much you know and feel like a god as you get some serious work done.

So you can hide your shame (i know i do), but become a god in a few years, after self-hating yourself the whole time.
or you can show your stuff, hate the shame but there will be at least a few people that really like/appreciate what you do, and you still get to feel like a god in a few years with experience (may take longer or you may be stuck in a particular niche if only end up focusing on completing projects and not exploring enough). You may make more friends with this way since you'll be socializing more.

But that all assumes you are able to stick with it long enough to get better, regardless of which path you choose. Since I have so much fun experimenting that is what allows me to keep coming back without having to really commit to anything.

that's my two cents.

2 cents but worth a million. Screw it, I'm just going to jump in. If people hate it, they hate it I guess. Thank you for your input, I appreciate it. I really do. At the very least I can use it as a testing grounds to see what people like and don't like. The more I learn the more I have fun with it so why stop now I guess. Now I just have to figure out how to post a VN here, lol. That is what is frustrating. It's all very nicely set up for developers to follow a template, and they can do in minutes, and it will probably take me hours to figure out how to use the template. I guess that is all part of the learning process.

 

[jezzoo]

It's unfortunate that most people who'd talk to you about finishing projects do so because they talk more than they finish projects.

As for your project, I don't have time to check out the game itself either, but the renders look OK, especially the backgrounds. The characters look as plasticky and uncanny as almost all renders do - that's not your fault, or something you could easily fix. But with good writing & story graphics matter less anyway.

But I think keeping it short and simple is good advice, if you manage to follow it.

 

[Alcahest]

Your game looks more interesting than most ren'py games coming out, because the setting is not the usual. The renders are generally good, certainly not bad, aside from some obvious mistakes. My only real criticism is that they often look too grainy on my PC monitor, which is not uncommon with new ren'py games. Hell, even a few big ones look grainy on my monitor. But consider using a higher resolution.
Maybe you could release what you have as a demo and then redo everything with better quality, correct mistakes etc, if you feel there is interest enough? Just a thought.

What you have done so far shows great promise. Just go for it.
Since you're new to this, my advice is to make a short game first, to learn the basics and get generally better as a game developer. If you don't want to make "Edinburgh" into a short game, you can always put it on hold and come back to it later.

 

[Ricktor]

Your game looks more interesting than most ren'py games coming out, because the setting is not the usual. The renders are generally good, certainly not bad, aside from some obvious mistakes. My only real criticism is that they often look too grainy on my PC monitor, which is not uncommon with new ren'py games. Hell, even a few big ones look grainy on my monitor. But consider using a higher resolution.
Maybe you could release what you have as a demo and then redo everything with better quality, correct mistakes etc, if you feel there is interest enough? Just a thought.

What you have done so far shows great promise. Just go for it.
Since you're new to this, my advice is to make a short game first, to learn the basics and get generally better as a game developer. If you don't want to make "Edinburgh" into a short game, you can always put it on hold and come back to it later.

Thank You! I appreciate you taking the time. Yeah, before I knew more about the render settings, I was stopping the renders after 2 hours or so because I though they looked as good as they were going to. One of many of my mistakes, but I am still learning. Thank you for giving me the confidence to put it out there. Still a little nervous.

 

[Ricktor]

It's unfortunate that most people who'd talk to you about finishing projects do so because they talk more than they finish projects.

As for your project, I don't have time to check out the game itself either, but the renders look OK, especially the backgrounds. The characters look as plasticky and uncanny as almost all renders do - that's not your fault, or something you could easily fix. But with good writing & story graphics matter less anyway.

But I think keeping it short and simple is good advice, if you manage to follow it.

You hit the nail right on the head. Plasticky is a perfect word for it and why I cringe on some of these renders. Some of these developers have such beautiful characters that look so lifelike, I don't know how they do it. I have watched countless hours of youtube video's on "how to make your character more lifelike", but obviously I'm still missing something.

 

[kytee]

I played until the start of chapter 2, didn't have much time to play but wanted to get this in before you upload the game officially.

In general the renders could use more work. There's quite a few renders with weird lighting, such as lighting coming from places that have no light source and characters being lit up more than they should. You should learn some lighting basics to make your images look better on that front. The big elephant in the room is the grain in your renders. It is quite bad in chapter one but it looks like you're improving it in chapter two. You should go back and re-render chapter one if you've improved significantly as first impressions are extremely important and many people are too short-sighted to play through and see that it gets better.

Storytelling is definitely your strong suit and your "style", if we can call it that, is what I want to read more of. There is an issue on this forum, where writers of games tend to overexplain what's going on and spout exposition in the most robotic of manners. I like how you went about it: assume players have some modicum of intelligence and are able to figure out what's going on through what is being said and how it's being said. I feel this is shown best when the chauffeur and the pair have a chat in the car. Exposition is very well hidden in their conversation and comes off extremely natural. With the praise out of the way though, I think the chatter between the pair before they meet the chauffeur can be toned down a bit. It sounds very natural, yes, but we've only just met these characters and have no reason to care for anything they're talking about. The introduction, in my opinion, should stay in the present and about what's going on currently instead of venturing into the past to explain what happened before, at least until we've been able to establish a connection with the characters.

Didn't listen to the sounds so no comment on that.

I think as it is currently, if you uploaded it now, you'd get bashed and trashed on your renders. People on this forum can be quite superficial and tend to ignore the storytelling completely, despite the vocal minority that like to claim the opposite. You can upload the game now and fix the renders later, but know that you will be fighting an uphill battle with people giving you shit reviews and comments about how your game is trash only because of your renders.

 

[Ricktor]

I played until the start of chapter 2, didn't have much time to play but wanted to get this in before you upload the game officially.

In general the renders could use more work. There's quite a few renders with weird lighting, such as lighting coming from places that have no light source and characters being lit up more than they should. You should learn some lighting basics to make your images look better on that front. The big elephant in the room is the grain in your renders. It is quite bad in chapter one but it looks like you're improving it in chapter two. You should go back and re-render chapter one if you've improved significantly as first impressions are extremely important and many people are too short-sighted to play through and see that it gets better.

Storytelling is definitely your strong suit and your "style", if we can call it that, is what I want to read more of. There is an issue on this forum, where writers of games tend to overexplain what's going on and spout exposition in the most robotic of manners. I like how you went about it: assume players have some modicum of intelligence and are able to figure out what's going on through what is being said and how it's being said. I feel this is shown best when the chauffeur and the pair have a chat in the car. Exposition is very well hidden in their conversation and comes off extremely natural. With the praise out of the way though, I think the chatter between the pair before they meet the chauffeur can be toned down a bit. It sounds very natural, yes, but we've only just met these characters and have no reason to care for anything they're talking about. The introduction, in my opinion, should stay in the present and about what's going on currently instead of venturing into the past to explain what happened before, at least until we've been able to establish a connection with the characters.

Didn't listen to the sounds so no comment on that.

I think as it is currently, if you uploaded it now, you'd get bashed and trashed on your renders. People on this forum can be quite superficial and tend to ignore the storytelling completely, despite the vocal minority that like to claim the opposite. You can upload the game now and fix the renders later, but know that you will be fighting an uphill battle with people giving you shit reviews and comments about how your game is trash only because of your renders.

Thank you so much for the feedback. I am just finishing up Chapter 4, and I think I have improved the renders quite a bit. Not where I want to be with them(there are some incredible looking renders out there in some of these games), but a huge improvement from the dead horse scene, that is for sure. Lighting! Yup you hit it right on the head. Spent quite a few hours on Youtube, here on the forum, and Daz forum, just going through tutorials and tips and tricks. They helped a lot. Thank you for your time, I really do appreciate it. Especially the part about the conversations. I fall into this void where I feel like I am over telling the story to "make sure" the reader understands everything and it sounds dumb, but then I go to far the other way and think no one is going to have a clue what I am talking about.