VN - Ren'Py - Mayfly [v0.2 Reset] [JasonTon]

Oh my god the renders are AMAZING, and I love the setting and the world the game is placed in, it's EXTREMELY pleasing to look at. In fact, from the MC's design to all of the girls (ESPECIALLY NIKITA), they all look beautiful and its definitely something to take notice of.

I also love the animated/moving scenes a lot, it makes the game seem livelier, and especially in the club scene with the camera recording Gigi's dance, which is definitely a breath of fresh air having someone take the time and effort put in some moving things on the screen that are outside of the sex scenes, would love to see animated fight scenes in the future (if possible)!

Translation is a bit of an issue, but I understand that you now have a proofreader from what I've read on other sites, and from what I can tell from just reading in between the lines, the dialogue could be well written and pretty fun to look at as long as there's proper polishing and touching up on.

The only thing, and I really mean ONLY thing preventing me from giving this game 5 stars is that in a lot of what I've seen in chapter 2, the scenes become very disorientating to look at. One such example is when we're at the Stella and Luna parts of the story and coupled with the transitions and the scene changing back and forth, it becomes very dizzying and really easy to lose your place in the story. This could partially be on me for not taking the time to just look back on the previous messages to try and get a better gist of what was going on, but I genuinely felt my head splitting just from seeing the scene change back and forth only after two messages play out.

On another similar note however, while I dislike the way the scenes are constantly reverberating back and forth, the camera PLACEMENT on the scenes is actually really well done especially in chapter 2, and while the switching did throw me off, I was able to appreciate the scenes much more with how intricate the camera placement was, it was as if you really did do your homework on this stuff.

I am VERY excited to see more content from you and I'm looking forward to being an early adopter of this game and see how it turns out. I see a lot of great potential in this game and I'm glad I could be among the earlier players to experience this.

Also, love the Gundam references, glad to see there's another fan.

The graphics are very good, gorgeous renders.

I love the character design, especially Luna and Ling.

I feel invested in the game, and really want it to become amazing.

More than that though I believe the developer can grow to become among the very best.

TLDR: Great graphics, cute characters and a world filled with potential, held back a little by exposition.

Long opinion on writing and worldbuilding:

To me the writing is the weakest aspect right now. And where I hope to see improvement.

It feels like the developer has a lot of good ideas for the universe. The universe is very intruiging, and brimming with potential. However, currently in my opinion we are introduced to the world in a messy way.

There is too much exposition crammed into a fairly short story atm. There are a lot of instances of characters telling you "corporation x is this, but they are really this", "this area of town is this, and that's because of this".

One example being the whole exposition on the concept of the uppercity being rich and lowercity being poor. We didn't need to be told that.

We can experience with the plot and the visuals that when we do stuff in the undercity it looks less nice and we might have to help people who are struggling financially, and crime might be more frequent.

While we can experience that cases are usually more around corruption, or a higher class of criminal in the uppercity.

Currently we get a bit of both, but the exposition is uneccesary.
There are also a few instances of dialogue that feels a bit like fan-fiction. Instances of the MC being overly edgy without the edgyness being a joke.
Other times where characters say profound or overly deep stuff just for the sake of it, often fairly wordy and poetic and not how most people would actually talk.

Also the story feels like it's taking itself very seriously, so then it's a bit jarring when Luna and Stella are just ok with playing strip hand-wrestling right next to eachother without that much reasonable motivation. Feel like they needed a better incentive then just a favor from us. And like the main character should have had to do a bit more smooth convicing especially to keep them playing considering how hard they were losing.

The political stuff also feels a bit too on the nose. It feels like everyone is constantly telling you "we are doing x, but we are also scheming y, and in secret we are doing z for a". Instead of us more over time discovering that they might be doing "y, and eventually z before finally a".

It feels like everything is just thrown out there right away. These people are super-shady and we as the reader have to know that right away, and only the details and motivations are really left to be discovered.

It leads to way too much information in a short amount of time, information overload, and it doesn't come off as very realistic political intrigue.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as too harsh. It's great that there are a lot of characters with their own motives, and a lot of ongoing story-lines, I just think the story needs to focus a bit more on each of them before jumping between them. I hope it will get better over time, and the potential is very big.

In fact I think the story's ambitiousness is probably what has lead to what im talking about, there are so many pieces to set up, that I think the story would be better off waiting a bit to set some of them up.

At the end of the day I am very excited to see where this goes. All the best of luck.

NOTE:
The writing might actually be perfect and the translation is the issue. That the meaning / tone of stuff is translated poorly. Grammar seems okay most of the time, but could be the meaning isn't always translated optimally. Hard to know without playing it in Chinese, which unfortunately I wouldn't understand.

1 star for now, the dialog at the start is very jumbled, hard to understand whats going on, typos/grammar mistakes everywhere. will re-evaluate rating after digging deeper into the game, but first impression is terrible

Good graphics. Fresh storyline. I will follow the development of this game from today onwards

This is a review of version 0.2, in my opinion this is a very good start for the game

Translation is rather wacky but otherwise this is one of the most promising game in this forum. In short there are superpowers and MC has lot to do, renders are good and music is great, and then there is a lot of sex.

I rated this game highly before the remake, and honestly not quite sure why it was rebooted instead of continued. The art is better, but it was already great. The story may be a bit better paced, but I'm not quite sure as the original went two to three times as far. I remember the original had a much better introduction to Ling I thought as you were strangers and began to build trust with a new police commander or something, now she starts out with you. I remember it had went a bit weird suddenly in a club with elven mental magic, but rather than sorting it out we're restarting. Ok, maybe it'll be smoother but I'm still not sure what required a re-write. A lot of other games needed a re-write before this one, which I thought was top tier to begin with - but if the author is that keen on quality I'm game to encourage him. I like the main character, and his potential companions, and so far interested in getting the villains on his side too. Cyberpunk references are nice and I'm happy to have them. Seems a bit Shadowrun and Earthdawn with old elves, and I appreciate that. It was weird to see so many downtrodden yet ridiculously hot hookers if anything... kind of a waste of models better used else where, but whatever. Would prefer not to spend a lot of times with hookers when there are so many gorgeous options available. I seem to remember a cat girl who was borderline in the original, who I think was your first scene, but you get that visiting family now. Nice to meet the family this time. Probably better than a club.

The art is great, the story and setting are interesting, the girls are desirable, I will look forward to more. I was before it started over again too, but whatever.

JasonTon is the rising super creator of 2023, with a rendering ability comparable to Eternum and an extremely rich plot performance. There are only a few games on the market that can match MayFly, so I look forward to your continued updates. Let's finish this masterpiece of MayFly!

Mayfly is an exceptional Visual novel game that truly captures the essence of mystery, magic, superpowers, all wrapped up in stunning graphics that are sure to leave you spellbound. intricate storylines, and complex characters that are sure to keep you on the edge of your seat.
One of the things that sets Mayfly apart from other games is its incredible attention to detail. From the beautifully rendered landscapes to the intricate character designs, everything in the game is meticulously crafted to create a truly immersive experience. The graphics are top-notch, and the game's visual effects are nothing short of breathtaking.

This game gives me a feeling that is different from other SLGs. In terms of single image quality, it is itself striving for excellence. The author is committed to the ultimate pursuit of game image quality and is committed to presenting the most perfect works to players. Of course, the plot is not bad. The author hides many colorful eggs in the plot waiting for players to explore, and in terms of dialogue, there are many up-to-date memes for everyone to entertain. Final conclusion: I would like to call this work one of the masterpieces (which still needs to be optimized in the future) and it is very worth playing!

A boy who get superpower working for Vigilantes . He lost his parents and sister in the past and only remember someone take his sister . While encountering his first case . He faces strong girl who uses somekind of fog that make him unconscious . After recovery when he goes to bar . He met some strong people who said they know who take his sister . Now i am waiting for what will happen next . Very good game and characters are also very good . This game comes with mystery,magic, superpower,action . You enjoyed it a lot .

ITS AN ELF!!!!!
That it thats the whole review overall 8.1/10 ELF

Okay serious now, First i wanna start off by saying this game has one flaw, and that is the Translation, this game was originally in Chinese and the translation isnt the greatest, some things simply don't get translated very well.

Story 8/10: However this is some great potential here, You've got Superpowers, Vigilantes, Government Corruption, Fantasy Races in a Modern World, and a Tragic Past. What more could you ask for in a story. It honestly gives me a Manhua feel which is nice and familiar for me

Sexual Content 7/10: Not a lot of SC yet but that's to be excepted for a first release it did have one scene and the quality of said scene was good.

Renders 8/10 : Im kinda conflicted on the Renders though it seems like they are high quality however it seems like the Dev added some blur or filter on purpose to the renders which for me personally im not a fan of but its something that can easily be overlooked.

Character Models 10/10: Now the Character Models oh my god, we got a big tit elf in fantasy clothing, who might as well be a literal goddess. Then his boss oh lord stomp on me. Gigi, Jimin, and the Police Chief again each one is beautiful.