It is too much of "internal dialog".
If you like an internal dialog describing the scene, or just thinking nonsense, then go for it.
Me? nope. It feels like padding in AAA games, its a bedge moment.
The option had a lewd choice, and after that, the MC is being dumb again in the next dialogue. Its brain is switching between 30yo and 15yo. He "should be smart" according to the storyline, but in reality, he's just a dumb teen being confused all the time.
Other than what I'm complaining about, is fine.
If you like an internal dialog describing the scene, or just thinking nonsense, then go for it.
Me? nope. It feels like padding in AAA games, its a bedge moment.
The option had a lewd choice, and after that, the MC is being dumb again in the next dialogue. Its brain is switching between 30yo and 15yo. He "should be smart" according to the storyline, but in reality, he's just a dumb teen being confused all the time.
Other than what I'm complaining about, is fine.