Small update to my prelude mod, but it may be a week or so later than what I initially planned on for the prelude mod. I think I'm going to be taking a small breath of fresh air and try my best to just make it through this week/weekend. My mom was...um...she was having problems last night while we was asleep and had to be emergencied to the hospital around 1-2am this morning, and by the time they got there with her, she had died of heart failure, and honestly I've been in a state of shock all day, melted down sometime around 2pm today, both irl and kind of in the discord servers and personally if I'm honest with myself, I'm still melting piece by piece.
I had already lost my Dad back in 2018, which was right after I had a successful surgery removing brain cancer that December in 2017, and a lot of my memories are just piling on top of me in general, and I wouldn't of believed that'd now I'd of been by myself only 3 years later, and having to live with my sister and her family. Of course, my Mom was also hers too and the entire house in general has just been a huge period of grief, but if anyone was to say who got hit with it harder, it'd probably been myself cuz after losing my Dad, Idk what I'd of done without my Mom, and if I'm truthful, she had prepared me all this time in case something ever happened and well, today was the first time in a year that I wanted a bottle of rum after trying to quit the stuff due to medical issues, and really the only thing that's been keeping me calm today and my stress down has been my meds & my cigars.
I'm going to try my best to get through all of this, Idk what's fixing to take place and Idk how I'll be trying to pick things up from here, but my Mom would've wanted me to at least try and probably would've quoted a few bible scriptures to me for this very occassion knowing her. I'm not very religious myself but I do hope she'll can be at peace knowing I'm going to give my best shot.