The detailed feedback you provided here is very much appreciated. I can't promise that I will take all of your advice, but I can already see some things that I may very well do. I will touch on some of your specific points here.
* "Name Confusion" - Most likely, I will do some kind of explanation. Perhaps a pdf readme, or something
* "Mod for a mod" - The renders are mostly NOT my own. I only have less than 10 additional renders. My mod does not run without the original game. The storyline is my own in the sense of context, based on mods to the original text. Yes, there may be some completely different text at some points in the future, but for now, that isn't so much true. The personalities and identities of the characters will be shaped differently in the mod for certain, so in that sense, you are correct.
* "Input" - The pressing Enter piece only currently works for numbers. So it only works for the ages. I don't know why that is, but that isn't code that I, or Warped Animations wrote. That is a quirk of Renpy. I find that annoying also, and when I get some time, I will see if I can figure out a solution. I will look at the "entering nothing if you type and delete" issue. I think I already know what the issue is there.
* "Narator acting surprised" - Those are his thoughts, not hers, so I'm confused why making them her thoughts makes any sense. However, the narrator deal is from the original game. The only change in the mod is Daddy/MC name. I really don't think they are going to be using the narrator very much (but who knows). I took it that he was basically there to introduce the game while Dee sleeps at the beginning.
* "Show dont Tell" - I like that idea. I will see where I can incorporate that in the future.
All the rest of your items, I will have to look at and see what the problems are.
Again, thanks for the input. I truly appreciate it.