- Aug 19, 2022
- 525
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I kinda see the angle you are going for. There can be an emotional connection with someone even if you are in a bad relationship or a bad marriage. That one thing that helps you breathe a little easier in the person with the bad relationship/marriage. The problem there lies in deceiving or breaking of trust, if there is no need for deceiving or there is no trust in the relationship and the relationship is irrecoverable, and just waiting for it to end. Then we don't consider that cheating.Ok, let me start by saying that I've never been cheated on (as far as I know) neither have I ever cheated on the context of a monogamous boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. So I apologize in advance if my opinion feels thoughtless to those of you who might have been hurt by cheating, that's not my intent.
I don't think cheating is justified, it's wrong. My point is that not all kinds of cheating are equally wrong. Human relationships are complex and sometimes the end of a relationship kind of blends into the start of another one. That's specially true for people afraid of being alone (not my case), they might find very difficult to end a relationship without the prospect of a new one. That prospect new relationship meaning there has already been sex with the new person or not, I consider it cheating anyway and don't think that the sex makes such a big difference (which was my point for the Ian/Cindy thing). Also the soon to be ex it's going to be hurt by the ending of the relationship and (probably) the start of the new one wether there was sex before the breakup (assuming they are aware, it they don't it's kind of a victimless crime) or not.
So yes, cheating is a bad thing, but just as many other bad things we somethimes do during our lifes, it doesn't mean that we are going to do them again in different circunstances. Just as someone never cheating on the past, doesn't mean they will never cheat in any possible future situation.
But, we can consider Ian/Gillian was not this case.