VN Ren'Py Our Red String [Ch.13.2 Beta] [Eva Kiss]

[jduk]

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Agnes has only made a brief appearance in the story so far, and she's not directly involved with the main plot. And that's probably a good thing. This wicked woman is only trouble. Her zodiac sign is Sagittarius.

Gilf material soon hehehe... She probably wants Axel to fuck her...

 

[BlandChili]

I think she thinks about Axel and Jeremy too... Maybe dp hehehe

Eh, not really. All I said was that physically they're appealing, but knowing their personalities turns me off of them.

 

[Rickster82]

Eh, not really. All I said was that physically they're appealing, but knowing their personalities turns me off of them.

I like you more and more. Glad to have you here!

 

[mommysboiii]

Cindy & Holly ... the reasons for BlandChili's sleepless nights

BlandChili is actually a TRUE men of culture he even has a CHYOA account at this point I actually thinks he must be a olympic and doing this full time

 

[BlandChili]

BlandChili is actually a TRUE men of culture he even has a CHYOA account at this point I actually thinks he must be a olympic and doing this full time

I'm not a man at all, otherwise you're pretty close. I work in games design and want to publish writing of my own, I quite like CHYOA even though it's got way too many stories with no endings...
I've been into erotic content for a while and feel sad that much of the world is so stuck up about the human body and it's potential pleasures
The reason why I'm quite active here is because ORS is the best product on the market. (Also COVID shut-ins, plenty of time)

 

[Deleted member 3064965]

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Agnes has only made a brief appearance in the story so far, and she's not directly involved with the main plot. And that's probably a good thing. This wicked woman is only trouble. Her zodiac sign is Sagittarius.

Hey, that’s the same lust stat as Perry, the infamous "sitting at home masturbating to porn all day" seven. A bit surprised, Agnes, but I’m not judging.

 

[BlandChili]

Hey, that’s the same lust stat as Perry, the infamous "sitting at home masturbating to porn all day" seven. A bit surprised, Agnes, but I’m not judging.

Give the old cougar some space, she probably sits at home masturbating quite a lot too

 

[lockerxx]

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Agnes has only made a brief appearance in the story so far, and she's not directly involved with the main plot. And that's probably a good thing. This wicked woman is only trouble. Her zodiac sign is Sagittarius.

granny action for who Ian of lena .seymour found his match.

 

[Ninja of Death]

Give the old cougar some space, she probably sits at home masturbating quite a lot too

Too old to be a cougar. She'd be a sabretooth.

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[jduk]

Agnes clearly wanted to use Axel's cock during the photoshoot with Seymour... She craves young stud's cock... Maybe one of the guys gives her what she wants...Jeremy would be quite possible , he has fuck every pussy out there attitude...

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

Yeah, I totally agree. Especially in a game like this, limiting yourself to just what the 2 MC can see takes away a lot. Not to mention that showing (the players) what's happening elsewhere doens't break anything, the game can be set and progress like it is now: it's just more content and more fun without the limitation above.
But it's probably too late for that, Eva should have guessed it when starting out.

I agree that it's not going to happen. Until the end-of-game wrap-up summary, any scenes we see where MCs aren't there in person for the start of it will either be shown through an unexpected walk-in or through text, photos and video. That's the way it's been throughout both this and GGGB and I just don't see Eva breaking that MC POV mechanic. I personally wouldn't want her to either. It's just the way narration works, where either a story jumps to multiple viewpoints throughout, sticks to one (or in this case two) viewpoints, or has a narrator throughout the story to fill in the parts the main-perspective characters don't. Changing styles up like that throughout a story is jarring to the viewer/reader and evidence of an inexperienced author, no matter the format. (Exceptions for creative geniuses who know the rules and break them successfully for an intended effect. Eva is very good at designing erotic games and creates some of the few that I don't lose interest in due to poor art or storytelling. But I don't think she, let alone any video-game writer, is close to that level).

 

[mommysboiii]

Agnes clearly wanted to use Axel's cock during the photoshoot with Seymour... She craves young stud's cock... Maybe one of the guys gives her what she wants...Jeremy would be quite possible , he has fuck every pussy out there attitude...

I have a better idea since you are so desperate you could try this at home on your pc and do it yourself

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[WatsonJohn]

I agree that it's not going to happen. Until the end-of-game wrap-up summary, any scenes we see where MCs aren't there in person for the start of it will either be shown through an unexpected walk-in or through text, photos and video. That's the way it's been throughout both this and GGGB and I just don't see Eva breaking that MC POV mechanic. I personally wouldn't want her to either. It's just the way narration works, where either a story jumps to multiple viewpoints throughout, sticks to one (or in this case two) viewpoints, or has a narrator throughout the story to fill in the parts the main-perspective characters don't. Changing styles up like that throughout a story is jarring to the viewer/reader and evidence of an inexperienced author, no matter the format. (Exceptions for creative geniuses who know the rules and break them successfully for an intended effect. Eva is very good at designing erotic games and creates some of the few that I don't lose interest in due to poor art or storytelling. But I don't think she, let alone any video-game writer, is close to that level).

Not really. There are scenes not involving the protagonist in GGGB that are shown through the narration of the other characters of said events. I'm sure this way of portrayal will also be used here. What I'm hoping is Eva to deviate a little bit with this formula on some major events, to show the events from the perspective of other characters. One way the author can do this is by having the protagonist be really worried of the current state of a particular individual and would be wondering what is happening to that individual right now. And, as if answering the protagonist, the game shows what is happening to that individual with the narrator maybe talking about the scene unfolding as well as talking about the protagonist and how this could affect them.

 

[BlandChili]

Not really. There are scenes not involving the protagonist in GGGB that are shown through the narration of the other characters of said events. I'm sure this way of portrayal will also be used here. What I'm hoping is Eva to deviate a little bit with this formula on some major events, to show the events from the perspective of other characters. One way the author can do this is by having the protagonist be really worried of the current state of a particular individual and would be wondering what is happening to that individual right now. And, as if answering the protagonist, the game shows what is happening to that individual with the narrator maybe talking about the scene unfolding as well as talking about the protagonist and how this could affect them.

When do those scenes happen? The only instances I remember dealing with material outside of Ashley's perspective is when people use their phones to show her videos of others without them being aware.

I don't dislike random perspective change as a concept but do when they occur in a narrative that have no history of containing them previously. Playing as, and viewing events through, only Lena and Ian for half a game but then suddenly being shown a scene between Wade and Perry, with neither protag present, would IMO feel like a really clumsy shift.

 

[Ninja of Death]

I also don't remember anything happening on GGGB where Ashley wasn't involved, there, or shown on someone's phone.

 

[fatpussy123]

Who are the two last cards gonna be for?

 

[Deleted member 3064965]

And, as if answering the protagonist, the game shows what is happening to that individual with the narrator maybe talking about the scene unfolding as well as talking about the protagonist and how this could affect them.

But the narrators are Ian and Lena. It's a story with two first-person narrators, and there's no external third-person narrator to talk about a scene unfolding elsewhere. So that would involve completely changing the rules of how the story's told halfway through.

I also think Eva intentionally wants to tell the story through a more limited and subjective point of view, because she wants the players to experience it in a realistic way, the same way we have a limited and subjective understanding of the events that are playing out in our own lifes. As an example, we're seeing that when it comes to the events with Lena, Cherry and Axel. We've learned about it through Lena's viewpoint, but we're gradually understanding that that's not necessarily the whole or correct version of the story.

When you're writing stories you're always making these kinds of choices, and it gives a bunch of possibilities but also a set of limitations. And suddenly changing styles, as dontcarewhateverno pointed out, is jarring to the viewer/reader. It would probably also feel like a cheap narrative shortcut. A third-person narrator would've made it possible to tell stories without Ian or Lena present, but it would also create different limitations as to how the story can be told.

 

[WatsonJohn]

When do those scenes happen? The only instances I remember dealing with material outside of Ashley's perspective is when people use their phones to show her videos of others without them being aware.

I don't dislike random perspective change as a concept but do when they occur in a narrative that have no history of containing them previously. Playing as, and viewing events through, only Lena and Ian for half a game but then suddenly being shown a scene between Wade and Perry, with neither protag present, would IMO feel like a really clumsy shift.

An example would be if you decide to corrupt Iris with his dad, Arthur. During sex, he tells Ashley how he slowly made Iris "open up" with him and how they are now fucking without constraints. And the scene didn't feel out of place because it connects with the current event of the game.
That's the thing, it's not a random shift in perspective because the change of perspective ties well with the narrative just like my example of "thinking about the individual" or Arthur narrating how he corrupted Iris.

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

Not really. There are scenes not involving the protagonist in GGGB that are shown through the narration of the other characters of said events. I'm sure this way of portrayal will also be used here. What I'm hoping is Eva to deviate a little bit with this formula on some major events, to show the events from the perspective of other characters. One way the author can do this is by having the protagonist be really worried of the current state of a particular individual and would be wondering what is happening to that individual right now. And, as if answering the protagonist, the game shows what is happening to that individual with the narrator maybe talking about the scene unfolding as well as talking about the protagonist and how this could affect them.

I don't remember that happening in GGGB, except for in the summary at the end, which is Kosher to writing standards in some good film, books, games, ect. If it did happen at some other points, though I don't remember any, I'd chalk it up to Eva's inexperience as a writer at that point. Now where would this ORS narrator come from who hasn't said a word from Chapter 1 to Chapter 9 so far? If they were there the whole time, fine. As is, what you're suggesting doesn't sound like quality writing standards, which is what I explained in my post.

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

An example would be if you decide to corrupt Iris with his dad, Arthur. During sex, he tells Ashley how he slowly made Iris "open up" with him and how they are now fucking without constraints. And the scene didn't feel out of place because it connects with the current event of the game.
That's the thing, it's not a random shift in perspective because the change of perspective ties well with the narrative just like my example of "thinking about the individual" or Arthur narrating how he corrupted Iris.

That is different from what you expressed previously. It's still Ashley's perspective, hearing Arthur recount the story. If pics/vid were used, it would also be from Ashley's imagination. Story still told by her POV.

Yes. That could be possible if done right in ORS. But at this point, it would, just like your Ashley example, have to be done through a story recounted to Ian or Lena by another character, where their imagination might take the place of pics or video.

An invisible narrator dropping in from out of nowhere 1/3 of the way through the game for tea and a quick dirty story just wouldn't work, unless done with utmost skill and well-considered intent that is conceptually meant to improve the story as a whole. That usually takes "threading a camel through the eye of a needle" level writing skill and often a whole lot of pre-planning before even sitting down to write chapter 1. Eva's a good erotic-game creator, but that's a tall task for any writer. I just don't see it happening unless she breaks into a windfall inheritance and commissions Charlie Kaufman because WatsonJohn wants some good narrator-told jack-off material for the rest of the ORS run.

Edit for clarity: Eva could also bring in a narrator at this point if she were a crappier writer who didn't care about quality. Since thankfully I don't think that's the case, the closest you're going to get outside of shared pics/vid is of Ian or Lena hearing a story from another character and imagining the actions as they're told.