VN Ren'Py Our Red String [Ch.13.3.4] [Eva Kiss]

[BlandChili]

The satisfying thrill of conquering a confident, intelligent and self-respecting, gorgeous young woman who would otherwise never put herself in that position. The power involved in turning a Madonna into his own personal whore.

[...] But the challenge and power involved is a huge part of it, and maybe some sort of vengeance on a deeply buried insecurity or even misplaced jealousy that a girl like Lena embodies to him.

I can buy the premise of all this speculation, I just don't think the game sells it entirely in all outcomes.
Lena can meet Seymour that one time in the museum and then elect never to contact him again, randomly running into him on the job and then he will still turn up at her music gig for some reason.

Sure, Seymour could assume that Lena is confident, intelligent and self-respecting but I don't think she's expressed all this thoroughly enough for him to have made such a conclusion, unless you do decide to meet him and eventually work with him. On the routes where you ignore him as Lena I don't get why he'd remain interested in her specifically. She's just a pretty nude model he met once, he has to have encountered women similar to Lena a ton of times.

Of course one could argue that the Lena that denies his requests, or just ignores it completely, intrigues him too but then I think the story better express so soon and do it convincingly.

 

[dogedoge]

Tbh I don't really understand why Seymour is so interested in Lena but it might just be an obsession thing from his side.

Maybe it's a way of getting back at that hot crush in Junior High who rejected him long before he was a rich old lecher. Who knows? But the challenge and power involved is a huge part of it, and maybe some sort of vengeance on a deeply buried insecurity or even misplaced jealousy that a girl like Lena embodies to him.

Could this mystery person be Lena's mom?

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

I can buy the premise of all this speculation, I just don't think the game sells it entirely in all outcomes.
Lena can meet Seymour that one time in the museum and then elect never to contact him again, randomly running into him on the job and then he will still turn up at her music gig for some reason.

Sure, Seymour could assume that Lena is confident, intelligent and self-respecting but I don't think she's expressed all this thoroughly enough for him to have made such a conclusion, unless you do decide to meet him and eventually work with him. On the routes where you ignore him as Lena I don't get why he'd remain interested in her specifically. She's just a pretty nude model he met once, he has to have encountered women similar to Lena a ton of times.

Of course one could argue that the Lena that denies his requests, or just ignores it completely, intrigues him too but then I think the story better express so soon and do it convincingly.

I do feel like the game is implying something along those lines. He lusts for her in the sense that he needs to control and conquer her. But yeah. I agree that it wasn't sold that well in the writing since other than being pretty, Lena doesn't come off as fully fleshed out or remarkable enough to warrant that obsession in his interactions with her. Nor does he with his intellect. It's all just implied by their reactions to each other and other characters' reactions to them. In a movie, this could be sold by good actors, but in a book or VN, it needs to rely on great text or extremely well-communicative expressions that only the best comic artists can pull off with time on their side.

Though your experience can partially also be explained by phoned-in writing on the paths where Lena has no interest in working with him. His involvement in the game is unavoidable and since he was likely planned to be a major path for Lena, Eva focused more on that than on cleaning up the writing where Lena had no interest.

The buried resentment that forces the motivation is pure speculation on my end, but nothing else made sense to explain his motivations to me or why he chose her specifically.

It's a bit like a film about the best fictional painter in the world. If you can't manufacture a work of art that will dazzle the viewer IRL, most filmmakers would just avoid showing the picture, instead of letting the picture do it's thing and leave the audience wondering what the big deal is.

[What would wrap this up greatly - and justify it - as an alternate, is if Lena finds out, maybe from Agnes, that he does this to every very pretty girl of a certain age. She's not special at all. Both she and the viewers have been had. Seymour's merely a rich, old, lecherous pervert who's believed his own lies so long that most everyone else does too. I'd give Eva props for that. Though I haven't played the path where she's ignored him completely so I'm unsure how their interactive text matches up in that situation].

 

[dontcarewhateverno]

Could this mystery person be Lena's mom?

Or his, or a certain type of woman in general. Or just a deep-seeded insecurity or resentment that he has no-one to blame for but himself. But there's some sort of motivation for lusting after that kind of control of whatever Lena's supposed to represent to him. [Unless he's deceiving everyone and goes full-blown corruption path on every hot young woman of a certain physical caliber he can get his hands on].

 

[TheUnforeseenMessenger]

Porn and OF is definitely a type of sex work. Even Eva is technically a sex worker, since she's making a porn game.

You're not wrong since she provides "adult entertainment" and provides a sex-related product/service, according to wikipedia. I was very surprised to see that she'd fit that category. I don't think she'll consider herself one though, despite the definition - just my thought. She's a game developer is what she sees herself. She has always been trying to improve her game, which may or may not always involve sex elements.

 

[dogedoge]

Or his, or a certain type of woman in general. Or just a deep-seeded insecurity or resentment that he has no-one to blame for but himself. But there's some sort of motivation for lusting after that kind of control of whatever Lena's supposed to represent to him. [Unless he's deceiving everyone and goes full-blown corruption path on every hot young woman of a certain physical caliber he can get his hands on].

Plotwise, it would make sense if Seymour was holding some sort of grudge against Lena's mother. That would explain his obsession with Lena (to a certain extent), and it would also fit in the "red string" aspect of the narrative.

 

[Sorrow85]

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Hi guys,
I don't have much to report other than work has been progressing in the same manner than I reported last time: I'm combining the writing with editing and finishing the illustrations bit by bit. This past week my birthday happened (another thing that gets in the way of work!) but my focus is still on Chapter 9 and so far I thing it's coming along nicely. Soon I'll be done with the first block of the content and I'll send it to my trustworthy testers so we can tidy things up while I keep working on the second block.

Hi hope I can make good progress during this week and move further with the writing. I'm trying to move the plot forward in this chapter, and it also contains some long-awaited (at least to me) scenes. After forgetting for two weeks straight, here's finally the title reveal for Chapter 9. Does it give you any hint about what's coming in this update?




I hope you enjoyed the character-card gimmick, it was very interesting reading your comments and thoughts about the stats and you made me want to revise some of them. At some point I'll probably make a second edition with more characters and variations (might as well come up with some kind of rule-set to play with them just for fun). I'm sure you noticed Stan missing amongst the cast, but I'll talk about that further down the line, when Chapter 9 Alpha is out.

Talk to you soon!

------

 

[Deleted member 3064965]

View attachment 1402712

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Hi guys,
I don't have much to report other than work has been progressing in the same manner than I reported last time: I'm combining the writing with editing and finishing the illustrations bit by bit. This past week my birthday happened (another thing that gets in the way of work!) but my focus is still on Chapter 9 and so far I thing it's coming along nicely. Soon I'll be done with the first block of the content and I'll send it to my trustworthy testers so we can tidy things up while I keep working on the second block.

Hi hope I can make good progress during this week and move further with the writing. I'm trying to move the plot forward in this chapter, and it also contains some long-awaited (at least to me) scenes. After forgetting for two weeks straight, here's finally the title reveal for Chapter 9. Does it give you any hint about what's coming in this update?

View attachment 1402713


I hope you enjoyed the character-card gimmick, it was very interesting reading your comments and thoughts about the stats and you made me want to revise some of them. At some point I'll probably make a second edition with more characters and variations (might as well come up with some kind of rule-set to play with them just for fun). I'm sure you noticed Stan missing amongst the cast, but I'll talk about that further down the line, when Chapter 9 Alpha is out.

Talk to you soon!

------

Well, that chapter title more or less proves that it's Seymour's time to shine. I imagine that the "long-awaited scenes" also will include Axel.

But what's the deal with waiting until Chapter 9 to say anything about omitting Stan? My first reaction was "Oh wow, did something happen to Stan?", but then I remembered that it's just a game and nothing happens to him if Eva doesn't say so. I'm sure we'll manage to come up with a bunch of more or less conspirational theories about it before the chapter is out…

 

[Aiwass]

I don't know. Sometimes the old saying is true. "If you want something done right you've gotta do it yourself, as long as you're limber and have a long enough penis." - Abraham Lincoln, I think.

Put on The Greatest Love Of All. Light some candles. Break out the personal pizza. Cheap date that always puts out and is never stingy with the tongue action.

I mean, you jack off, right? So does that mean you enjoy giving handjobs?

Nope, it's about the feeling. In fact when you jack off you're not putting a lot of attention on what your hands feelings, and for the hardcore jerks there are also some techniques to make it even more of a weakened feeling about your hand (for example, sitting in your hand for at least 15 minutes before jerking off, doing it with the weaker hand etc.). When you jack off it's about 80% penis feelings and maybe 20% hands feeling, in self sucking is pretty much 80% like sucking a dick and 20% getting sucked. It could be a 50% 50% if you like both, but I don't.

 

[daliath]

But what's the deal with waiting until Chapter 9 to say anything about omitting Stan?

My bet is that Stan's surname is a big spoiler, so it can't be revealed until after alpha is released.

I don't know... maybe Stan is Seymour's son?

 

[dundun]

Well, that chapter title more or less proves that it's Seymour's time to shine. I imagine that the "long-awaited scenes" also will include Axel.

But what's the deal with waiting until Chapter 9 to say anything about omitting Stan? My first reaction was "Oh wow, did something happen to Stan?", but then I remembered that it's just a game and nothing happens to him if Eva doesn't say so. I'm sure we'll manage to come up with a bunch of more or less conspirational theories about it before the chapter is out…

Seymour/Axel confirmed! But that is just Lena. What about Ian?
That thing about Stan is really weird, though. It is just a frigging card, what could there possibly be a problem?

My bet is that Stan's surname is a big spoiler, so it can't be revealed until after alpha is released.

I don't know... maybe Stan is Seymour's son?

His surname is Korzybski. The phone/menu has an agenda with Name/Age/Bio of all characters.

 

[gorloff]

My bet is that Stan's surname is a big spoiler, so it can't be revealed until after alpha is released.

I don't know... maybe Stan is Seymour's son?

Stan Korzybski is already in the game (since v0.1 i think).

 

[Satiro]

LUST AND POWER

We had Cindy with new outfit, for this reason, Cindy Should be in the next update

Seymor(power) no doubt.... Maybe Axel with Lena and/or Cindy

Who Knows?!

 

[Dirtytreenaturd]

My bet is that Stan's surname is a big spoiler, so it can't be revealed until after alpha is released.

I don't know... maybe Stan is Seymour's son?

That sounds like a very good guess! Damn! Stan is probably a shut in because he couldn't live up to his father's expectations. Very interesting indeed!
Edit: Just read some of the comments below yours and was reminded we already know Stan's last name. Doesn't mean it's impossible though. He could be using his mother's last name in order to draw less attention to himself.

 

[lcvargas]

View attachment 1402712

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Hi guys,
I don't have much to report other than work has been progressing in the same manner than I reported last time: I'm combining the writing with editing and finishing the illustrations bit by bit. This past week my birthday happened (another thing that gets in the way of work!) but my focus is still on Chapter 9 and so far I thing it's coming along nicely. Soon I'll be done with the first block of the content and I'll send it to my trustworthy testers so we can tidy things up while I keep working on the second block.

Hi hope I can make good progress during this week and move further with the writing. I'm trying to move the plot forward in this chapter, and it also contains some long-awaited (at least to me) scenes. After forgetting for two weeks straight, here's finally the title reveal for Chapter 9. Does it give you any hint about what's coming in this update?

View attachment 1402713


I hope you enjoyed the character-card gimmick, it was very interesting reading your comments and thoughts about the stats and you made me want to revise some of them. At some point I'll probably make a second edition with more characters and variations (might as well come up with some kind of rule-set to play with them just for fun). I'm sure you noticed Stan missing amongst the cast, but I'll talk about that further down the line, when Chapter 9 Alpha is out.

Talk to you soon!

------

This screams a lot of LenaxSeymour scenes!!!

 

[Zedire]

Or it could be that Stan's stats give away something about him too, since I'm not sure what other info could be on the card to 'give away' what's probably going to be revealed in chapter 9. If Stan is Seymour's kid, and is just taking his mother's surname, that isn't going to be given away on the card anyway.
Maybe something to do with the Lust stat or the Charisma stat? Like if the Lust stat is really high or really low, or the Charisma stat is really high, people could suspect something hidden about Stan. I don't think it would be the Wits stat (since we know he's relatively intelligent already), or the Athletics stat (unless he is, like I was joking, secretly pure muscle instead of fat lol).

 

[Deleted member 3064965]

That thing about Stan is really weird, though. It is just a frigging card, what could there possibly be a problem?

It's superweird! She doesn't even write that she'll share his card after the Alpha, she just states that she'll talk about the fact that he's missing. And what could realistically be such a big spoiler from his character card that she can't share it? He would surely have high lust, medium to high wits, and low charisma and athletics. Anything else – as long as it's not something completely unrealistic – would either way be more of a teaser than a spoiler.

I doubt this will turn out to be true, but his omission from the cards and the way Eva phrases it here, almost makes it sound like she's written Stan out of the game. That would obviously be very drastic, but when you're writing stories, you sometimes realise that a character or a story line from earlier on ends up being redundant, or even standing in the way of other story lines. And if she's not gonna continue his story, it's not completely unlikely that she'd want to remove him altogether rather than having his story as a loose end.

The biggest problems would obviously be that she'd have to remove several scenes and do a lot of smaller retcons, that she'd end up with a bunch of disappointed Stan supporters, and that it probably would require that everyone start new saves from the beginning of the game. So all in all: not that likely. But I'm really struggling to see how this could be just about his character card.

 

[Cazzo_duro]

It's superweird! She doesn't even write that she'll share his card after the Alpha, she just states that she'll talk about the fact that he's missing. And what could realistically be such a big spoiler from his character card that she can't share it? He would surely have high lust, medium to high wits, and low charisma and athletics. Anything else – as long as it's not something completely unrealistic – would either way be more of a teaser than a spoiler.

I doubt this will turn out to be true, but his omission from the cards and the way Eva phrases it here, almost makes it sound like she's written Stan out of the game. That would obviously be very drastic, but when you're writing stories, you sometimes realise that a character or a story line from earlier on ends up being redundant, or even standing in the way of other story lines. And if she's not gonna continue his story, it's not completely unlikely that she'd want to remove him altogether rather than having his story as a loose end.

The biggest problems would obviously be that she'd have to remove several scenes and do a lot of smaller retcons, that she'd end up with a bunch of disappointed Stan supporters, and that it probably would require that everyone start new saves from the beginning of the game. So all in all: not that likely. But I'm really struggling to see how this could be just about his character card.

Hope Stan is not removed from the game, because I look forward to making Lena so slutty that she accepts to have sex even with him.

 

[dundun]

It's superweird! She doesn't even write that she'll share his card after the Alpha, she just states that she'll talk about the fact that he's missing. And what could realistically be such a big spoiler from his character card that she can't share it? He would surely have high lust, medium to high wits, and low charisma and athletics. Anything else – as long as it's not something completely unrealistic – would either way be more of a teaser than a spoiler.

I doubt this will turn out to be true, but his omission from the cards and the way Eva phrases it here, almost makes it sound like she's written Stan out of the game. That would obviously be very drastic, but when you're writing stories, you sometimes realise that a character or a story line from earlier on ends up being redundant, or even standing in the way of other story lines. And if she's not gonna continue his story, it's not completely unlikely that she'd want to remove him altogether rather than having his story as a loose end.

The biggest problems would obviously be that she'd have to remove several scenes and do a lot of smaller retcons, that she'd end up with a bunch of disappointed Stan supporters, and that it probably would require that everyone start new saves from the beginning of the game. So all in all: not that likely. But I'm really struggling to see how this could be just about his character card.

Ok, I figured it out! The one thing the card could spoil....
But first I am gonna bore you with all it can't be
Stan won't be deleted. Even if for some reason EvaKiss has no idea what to do with him in the future that is no reason to remove him from the game. It is much less work just to ignore him, just here and there a few lines of him passing by. Also he always has a place as Lena's photographer/camara man. (I have no doubt that he'll be running Lena's Stalkfap in no time.)
His stats can't really be a problem. He can't possibly have low wits, he works for a living. A wits of 10 would surely be surprising, but no spoiler. A high charisma would be a big surprise, true, but how could that ever make any sense? Same for high athletics. And finally lust doesn't really have any meaning so it could be everything.
His name is known.
Also the card has the number 14 right after Ivy and Louise and before Axel and Seymour, right where it should be. So his ommision wasn't planned but came up while writing chapter9.
So that leaves only one information on that card.
His

Spoiler: His

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[lipe2410]

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Hi guys,
I don't have much to report other than work has been progressing in the same manner than I reported last time: I'm combining the writing with editing and finishing the illustrations bit by bit. This past week my birthday happened (another thing that gets in the way of work!) but my focus is still on Chapter 9 and so far I thing it's coming along nicely. Soon I'll be done with the first block of the content and I'll send it to my trustworthy testers so we can tidy things up while I keep working on the second block.

Hi hope I can make good progress during this week and move further with the writing. I'm trying to move the plot forward in this chapter, and it also contains some long-awaited (at least to me) scenes. After forgetting for two weeks straight, here's finally the title reveal for Chapter 9. Does it give you any hint about what's coming in this update?

View attachment 1402713


I hope you enjoyed the character-card gimmick, it was very interesting reading your comments and thoughts about the stats and you made me want to revise some of them. At some point I'll probably make a second edition with more characters and variations (might as well come up with some kind of rule-set to play with them just for fun). I'm sure you noticed Stan missing amongst the cast, but I'll talk about that further down the line, when Chapter 9 Alpha is out.

Talk to you soon!

------

So, in the next chapter, will Lena be able to shatter Axel/Seymour's plans to possess her? I can't wait