Congratulations to Lewtopia, for a demo it is quite impressive
VISUALS:
The Great
- Character design is absolutely amazing. All of them look great, and feel distinct
- The animations caught me by surprise, I was not expecting any, let alone them being done so well
- The color palette is very well chosen
The Good
- The game does not suffer much from the “bare white wall” disease, which is good because there is a LOT of that out here.
- For a demo, the settings look good and alive, though I’m sure the school will have more than five students by the time the official release comes by
The OK
Framing and blocking needs improvement. For instance, the frame shouldn’t cut the chest in two
The Bad (and I mean really bad)
Please excuse the filmmaker in me, I just can't help it. Lewtopia, if you read this,
I beg you, don’t break the line. Visual story telling has rules for a reason, the line is broken so often that it is disorienting, thus breaking the flow of most scenes.
STORYTELLING
I have to agree with @ArmoredRacoon, the writing is very rushed, and I found it “meh”.
I mean let’s deal with the elephant in the room here, the dick size is just ridiculous.
The overall tone is one of realism (as in not fantastical), but as soon as the dick comes out any sense of logic within the script flies out the window. I mean, how is she supposed to hide this thing? Her sisters don’t know, after all this time? What, they never swam in a pool, or went on vacation together? The whole angle about her keeping it a secret just doesn’t make sense, and it can easily raise loads of questions, thus distracting from the experience.
As well, there’s quite the tonal clash. The struggles she faces are shallow (for now), but at least they feel real. Again though, any sense is flushed down the toilet when for instance she claims to shoot her load all the way to the ceiling.
It almost feels like there are types of story in one game. Problem is, there can be only one.
At the end of the day, perhaps the script will setup the world-building where the above makes sense, and I certainly want to give the dev the benefit of the doubt, we’ll see.
It’s certainly not overt, but I sense hints of identity politics that were peppered here and there. We are bombarded by this lunacy day in, and day out, can adult VN be free of that? Can’t we have a damn break? Again, if the dev is reading, I suggest you tell a story that’s spicy, light, and fun, and let’s leave any sense of politics out the door.
CHARACTERS
Although the models for the characters are great, their personalities don’t follow their looks. Let's see:
- The introvert sister
- The chatty sister
- The mom who uses terms of endearments with every phrase
- The bullies
- The girl boss friend.
We've all seen these countless times before, it's not exactly compelling.
One good thing about the script is teasing at the undercurrent of domination/submission theme, especially through Carol, and Blaire. That’s a good hook.
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I may sound pretty harsh here, but I understand the one-man team can’t be proficient at all aspects of their games, something gotta give, and in this case it is the writing and the world-building. I don’t believe there is any shame in utilizing tools like NovelAI to help in that regard. It’s not expensive, but can make a world of difference, not to mention lightening the workload.
Music, UI, both are fine
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I 'm blunt here, but I believe the dev can handle it. The potential is clearly there, so I don't see the point in being complacent. As it is there are flaws, but it is promising. I’m certainly looking forward to meeting Laura, and Maggie, my oh my.
