I've seen much, much worse. You've got a good basic idea. Two things:
One, I really think you need either a different camera angle or place the models so they are looking at the player. Creates more connection and makes you pay more attention IMHO.
Two, I see what you're doing with the wings, and its not a bad idea, but I think you need to retool it a little. The black box of the logo makes it so you don't notice the black wing right away unless you pay close attention.
Good start, just polish a bit.