Does the MC have to be asshole though? I get that it’s him trying to steal the grandma, but it’s hard for me to identify with an MC that is just a horny idiot. At least judging by the synopsis you wrote. If that’s the game that it is and what you want, fair enough, but if it’s not necessary, a little bit of nuance could go a long way even in a story so short.
It can be anything that makes the player more sympathetic to his goal. Even something as simple as his grandfather wronging him in the past. Maybe he was horn dog that kept groping his mom in the past and MC saw this happen as a kid. or a shitty father to one of his parents.
As far as the goal to fuck the grandma, if he’s simply trying to corrupt her, that’s also fair, but he’s still a bit rapey if he’s super insistent. Maybe MC finds out she loved Piano or guitar and the MC is actually very talented and uses it as a way into her heart.
The least interesting corruption stories are the MC pulls down his pants and the girl says “wow, what a nice cock! I can’t resist!”
Or “I’ve fallen in love with you grandson! Let me leave husband for you!”
In my view it has to have some sort of obstacle to overcome. A balance of conflict, problem solving and reward.
Just my two cents.
This is a problem with a lot of these though.
From a complete misunderstanding and misrepresentation of what Netorare is, to the epidemic
use of idiotic, beta male MC's with either massive cocks or tiny cocks. Or BNWO stupidity.
It's copying nearly verbatim other bad stories instead of breaking the mold and doing something
original. Even in the vein of what your copying. Not saying that's what you're doing Ol'Boy.
I haven't read your story and no offense but I truly don't want to. It's not a kick at you,
your synopsis just doesn't make me interested.
I know I'm only going to get repulse by the whole young menace fucking his grandma concept.
It's a nice twist though from the grandpa corrupting the daughter-in-law stuff.
Not to rant but it seriously pisses me off that Loli and Incest can get you banned from platforms
but rape is A-Okay. SMH Says a lot about society. And a lot about my culture when rape themes
are so common. Mind control is still rape haha.
But yeah, it's a struggle to wake writers up and get them to find an original path with well
thought out characters and situations. Most want to milk a theme, get it on a pay platform,
get those subs - rinse and repeat.
I'm just happy my devs aren't like that.