VN - Ren'Py - PutMEOn [v0.0.8] [StafiLynx]

talk about tonal whiplash
from making out with your sister to seeing your parents murdered, getting a handy then hearing cries of help from your PC, and from just chatting with a friend to seeing a child be killed in front of you as you try to console her

it's not bad, just not at all what i expected. Also i agree the lewds are definitely very... immature? inexperienced? which honestly fits, considering the main 2 don't strike me as experienced people, but the way that it hops from scene to scene without really lingering on any of them or the characters (unless you wanna count "3-frame animation into 2 lines of dialogue 3 times" as lingering) and the fact that while yes some of the horror is actually kinda harrowing. Some of it feels like there's a ghost in the house dicking with conrad because he's bored. like the noise or making his sister wake him up, that feels like it only really pads out time instead of being "oh em gee gais she said she went to bed and never got up how scawee" which i guess was the intended reaction. I'm not saying "c'mon add sex NOW" because that's how you get a poorly written mess with no coherency, i actually thought it's kinda going really fucking fast with frame one "do you want your sister to see you change?" like does conrad just not give a shit? but now considering the scenes we have are
1º see tit
2º kiss
3º masturbate
feels like a teens idea of a relationship more than either an actual relationship or a porn relationship. Realistically they'd go about it slower. way fucking slower. and more porn focused ones either hop to it instantly which i think kinda sucks and kills the romanticism and mystique of consummating a relationship for me, or dance around it while giving the audience something to chew on instead of GETTING ON WITH IT. Neither of these fit the current tone, I feel
so, to actual constructive criticism, how to fix this?
fix the pacing, either lean into the porn and really focus on it, make the scenes longer, with more art and dialogue and explore the relationship the two have, or focus on the story and keep the porn more split up instead of being more obviously split into porn then plot then porn then plot. There's a billion games here on this site that do that because lessons in love did it so that means it must be good, but that game really paced out the horror to really let it catch you off guard and creep you out while here it's just kinda there (not that I'm comparing the two stories, just the pacing).
figure out your tone, and the story will take shape from there
I'm not saying the story or the art or the direction is bad, the reason i haven't mentioned any of that is because i like that. The art feels charming and the scenes carry this weight that comes from having two inexperienced people go at it which i feel really helps sell the tone of the relationship, The idea of horror and sex can and has worked on multiple occasions in other media, and the horror is actually scary, if coming kinda out of nowhere at times.
Here's to many updates to come

Really wanted to rate this higher as there is a huge lack of straight furry. There are grammar errors everywhere making a lot of sentences make no sense. There are a lot of Renders/drawings that are simply stretched to fill the screen and become very blurry and low res. The story itself makes no sense and jumps from random thing to random thing. The choices barely matter, some being fake choices where your sis just says no I don't want to do that if you pick it. Really the only thing this has going for it at the moment is two very cute characters. I sincerely hope this improves as time goes on, but for right now it's not very good.

i love the idea, and would enjoy seeing more of this story! one thing that i didnt like was an inconsistency in the art, i feel like it couldve done better. but despite that, the characters are cute and the dev took the time to establish a normal relationship between the two before it got lewd, which makes the story more exciting to follow.

Review as of 0.2b:

This game feels pretty heavily inspired by Automaton Story (I say that because of the furry sis' love and use of unfinished CGs).

Thoughts:
There's not a lot here at the moment, but it definitely has potential.
I think it would be a good idea to throw in some side characters (no main ones) to lewd to keep the player happy, and so the sis' lewd can be slow-burn. That or just keep it slow-burn with the sis' with a lot of peeking and secret lewding, keep it tense. I want to feel the chemistry, and their lust for each other build and build until it's forced to break out.

Writing:
The writing feels a little hand-holdy but aside from that it's okay.

Art:
The art is good and has a cute style, but sadly most of it is unfinished monochrome sketches (like Automaton Story).

Needed fixes:
The pauses in the dialogue (the blank dialogues) make it unclear whether you need to wait for auto advance or click through. Some shrinking ellipsis action ("...", "..", ".") would make it more clear.

Overall:
I recommend it, or at least joining the discord to keep up to date with it.