Random question about onomatopoeia...

[TacoHoleStory]

Would you prefer to read something like:
a)"Bang, bang, bang." and then internal dialogue "Damn the neighbors in this motel are noisy."
b)"A loud banging rings out from the wall." and then internal dialogue "Damn the neighbors in this motel are noisy."

It'd be nice to keep everything as actual sound effects, but seeing as some people mute the sound it's better to turn important sounds into writing. Which one feels more natural for a game?

IMO, both approaches kind of feel cringy and take me out of the story a little.

 

[Bev_]

both approaches kind of feel cringy

Agreed. But there is not much you can do about it.
I don't think that one way is better than the other and I don't have a preference.

I just feel like a) is a little bit comical, and b) gives me that scientific/official (not sure how to describe that) vibes. So I guess it all depends on a situation. You probably should pick one approach and stick to it, but I don't think it'd be noticeable if you didn't.

So I'd say, just use the one that you feel comfortable with, or appropriate at the moment.

 

[baloneysammich]

I tend to mute VNs in large part because I don't want to hear things like knock sound effects. So this is relevant to my interests, but I can't offer much either.

Like Bev_ said, a) feels comical whereas b) feels clinical. I'm not a writer, but it seems like b) is written in some form of third-person point of view. So maybe it feels 'clinical' because I'm accustomed to narrative in first- or second-person POV. But honestly I'm not even sure of that.

 

[Winterfire]

Both options are fine, and do not really feel cringy imho.
My only suggestion is whatever option you use, also include sounds.

Text description or the assumption that the player will disable sound should not be a reason to not include sound effects, little details like these make a game feel more polished.

 

[Guntag]

Answer B, unless you really want your game to have a cartoony feeling, then you could just add some

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directly on the picture. I can't remember ever reading a novel with "bang bang bang" or anything like that

 

[Hagatagar]

Of the two examples, I choose b)

a) works only in combination with an imagery of what is causing the noise.
Because "Bang, bang, bang" can be anything from a neighbor hitting the wall, a Texan joyfully shooting into the air, or industial rock.

with b) I can at least get an idea of what the sound might be like, as more information is given.

And if you add just one adjective, it loses a little of the methodicalness right away, doesn't it?
"A startling loud banging rings out from the wall."
"An annoying loud banging rings out from the wall."

 

[Jofur]

I think if you need to repeat the sound in a single sentence, it would be better of as a description. But having a single bang, meow, or ding-dong is a nice way to spice up narration. I like to combine them: "Bang! The wall shakes violently in front of me."

 

[arcaos]

One that I’ve really been struggling with lately is crying. I do “~sniff sob~” but that seems weird. There are some vocalized cries like “waaaah” but I can’t think of anything for the soft crying you see adults doing in movies.

 

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[TacoHoleStory]

One that I’ve really been struggling with lately is crying. I do “~sniff sob~” but that seems weird. There are some vocalized cries like “waaaah” but I can’t think of anything for the soft crying you see adults doing in movies.

For someone crying I don't see any point in describing it. Just make sure you show their sadness through their thoughts or actions and it'll achieve the same thing. If you absolutely have to show they're crying you could have another character comment on it.

 

[Adabelitoo]

For option B, are you even planning to use a narrator in your game with a bigger role than just sound effects? If no, then option A, if yes, both would work, but why not using the narrator in that case.

Also, I wouldn't mind both options.

*bang bang bang*
"A loud banging rings out from the wall."
"Damn the neighbors in this motel are noisy."

Makes sense to me. Option A alone don't give me any info about where those sounds are coming from. Option B alone tells me that but it's too open to my imagination.

 

[Jofur]

One that I’ve really been struggling with lately is crying. I do “~sniff sob~” but that seems weird. There are some vocalized cries like “waaaah” but I can’t think of anything for the soft crying you see adults doing in movies.

If you can visualize it, it's always best to try and do that. Show don't tell.
Secondly, if you are struggling, I say just narrate it. It's only worth using if it sounds natural and seamlessly blends into the sentence. Onomatopoeia should enhance sentences, not replace them.

 

[anne O'nymous]

Would you prefer to read something like:
a)"Bang, bang, bang." and then internal dialogue "Damn the neighbors in this motel are noisy."
b)"A loud banging rings out from the wall." and then internal dialogue "Damn the neighbors in this motel are noisy."

Personally, I prefer the answer c ;
"*bang... bang... bang...*" followed by an effective dialog ling (not internal, but not too loud either), expressing the character's frustration ; something like, "damn, stop banging those fucking walls !".

I really dislike useless internal thoughts, especially when they also give useless redundant information. The reader already know that the character is in a motel, it's obviously a noisy one since we "hear" the banging, and it's obviously the neighbors that are making this noise since we "hear" them.