[Rev v0.3a]
Has potential, but is in dire need of polish.
The writing needs work; tons of technical errors put this at about an 8th grade level of readability. I'm not just niggling about typos: it's occasionally difficult to tell what a line of dialog is supposed to be saying. These extend to the underlying code with occasional broken if/then constructs and logic glitches. The game's core concept is good if somewhat standard. Pacing is nearly nonexistant, which diminishes the value of adding to the MC's harem.
Art's as good as these HTML + real porn Twine games get, but I feel that restyling the CSS so that images incorporate into the text would cut down on the needless scrolling and present the game better.
Kinks that I don't go for can usually be avoided thanks to clear options to do so; I really appreciate that.
TLDR: a good editor would be worth their weight in improved ratings.
Has potential, but is in dire need of polish.
The writing needs work; tons of technical errors put this at about an 8th grade level of readability. I'm not just niggling about typos: it's occasionally difficult to tell what a line of dialog is supposed to be saying. These extend to the underlying code with occasional broken if/then constructs and logic glitches. The game's core concept is good if somewhat standard. Pacing is nearly nonexistant, which diminishes the value of adding to the MC's harem.
Art's as good as these HTML + real porn Twine games get, but I feel that restyling the CSS so that images incorporate into the text would cut down on the needless scrolling and present the game better.
Kinks that I don't go for can usually be avoided thanks to clear options to do so; I really appreciate that.
TLDR: a good editor would be worth their weight in improved ratings.