Edit: Before you read all this. I recommend downloading and playing the game. The animations and art makes it worth it. But beware, the writing during the sex scenes is fucking awful. There's also a stupid mini game that you have to do that's annoying. If you can forgive the horrible writing during the sex scene, then the game is worth supporting on subscribestar.
Nearly everything about this game is great, except the writing. The writing is a huge turn off. In the start of the game, it presents the MC's girlfriend as a desperate slut who begs for sex, as if she's some ugly whore incapable of attracting men. It's a huge turn off. It's okay to be a SLUT, but not a DESPERATE SLUT who initiates sex. She's still a woman and should act like one. Instead of her taking control over pepito, she should make sexual gestures and poses to let Pepito know she's interested in him sexually. For example: Cloy casts the spell on Rin. Rin gets horny. Rin starts making sexy poses on the couch, not desperate, but just enough to tease Pepito. Pepito then takes charge and hits on her, because he can see her acting a little slutty, but not desperate. Pepito eventually makes the first sexual move. That's what guys want to see, the man being in charge over the woman, unless you're making a femdom game. It's okay for the woman to be a little more suggestive, it's a fantasy game after all, but she cannot cross the line into acting like a desperate slut, that's a huge turn off.
Later in the game, there's a scene with Cloy and some girl in the park. But the girl in the park is down on her knees, and she tells Cloy what to do, even though Cloy is in the position of power. So the submissive is actually in charge, and Cloy does her bidding. THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.
This game's writing is atrocious. It's bad, REALLY bad.
The developer needs to learn the basic aspect of male/female human seduction. How a man hits on a woman. How the woman gives clues and signals to let the man know she wants him to fuck her,but without acting like a desperate slut; which is a huge turn off.
Then the developer needs to learn BASIC BDSM, of how the slave girl on her knees OBEYS, while the Sadistic dom tells the girl on her knees what to do. CLOY IS THE DOM, SHE IS IN CHARGE, SHe tells the submissive girl on her knees in the park what to do, not the other way around.
Breaking basic and simple aspects of seduction & BDSM completely ruin the sex scenes.
Animations 5/5
Art 5/5
Music 4/5 -The song is good, but it keeps repeating over & over again. Only play the song sometimes, not constantly.
Programming 10/5 - This guy knows how to program. He's good at it. Respect.
Writing -10 / 5 - This writing is shit tier. Developer needs to study basic man woman seduction 101. Then he needs to study basic BDSM 101. My guess is that he's doing so many things at once, that the writing suffered, because he has to do the art, and the programming, and the writing probably.
Story 4/5 - The story premise is actually pretty good. The goal of the MC is now to become a sex god with the help of mystical sex beings. Like there is a separate world that exists with various sex creatures and stuff. that is cool. That part of the writing is well done. The premise is good, but the dialogue during the sex scenes is not.
Mini games -10 /5 ... There's these annoying mini games that have nothing to do with porn. It makes no sense to have this in the game.Uggh. They were terrible.
BASIC RULES: Don't make the women act like desperate sluts. They can beg, but only if the man or woman in charge asks them to beg. Women tend to bend over to show their ass, and then wait to see what the man does. The man sees her bending over showing him her ass, because her skirt is hiked up. Then the MANmakes the first move. That's how it works with human male / female relationship, lol.
This game could easily be 5 stars if the writing wasn't so unbelievably bad.
The reason I'm being so harsh about the writing is because the game is very close to being high quality. The writing just needs to be fixed asap.
I mean seriously, do you guys find desperate women begging for sex to be a turn on? It's not. Imagine you're at Walmart and a hot woman came up to you begging for sex. It would raise a red flag. Your instincts of a man would reject her. I kid you not, I bet you would reject her. Nothing is more pathetic and disliked by men than a girl who acts like a desperate slut. IMPORTANT: There's a difference between a slut and a desperate slut. A slut can still act like a woman who knows how to attract a man, letting him take charge, while a desperate slut constantly makes the first moves out of desperation; acting like a man, but only causing the man to ignore her and leave.
Women put up resistance, men try to seduce and break that resistance, eventually winning her over. Women play hard to get.
Realize that a dominate women in a position of power (CLOY) does not take orders from the girl on he knees; of whom she is dominating.
