Unity - Abandoned - Snaga: Breeder Trainer [v0.25] [MonsterWorks]

The renders are not good enough to keep you interested, and the writing is bad enough to make you annoyed.

It's not utterly outrageous, but it's bad enough to deserve only one star. Slightly more entertaining than paint drying, less entertaining than seeing a fly die trapped in the drying paint.

Game version: [v0.33]

Better than it has any right to be, but not as good as it could be. The renders are pretty good, but the writing is what elevates it for me, especially during the sex scenes. Too many devs have no idea how to write sex scenes, this game shows you how to do it.

The game's main problem is its structure. There's a super lengthy intro and then you get thrown into "trainer mode" and there are dozens of scenes for you to click and experience. Which is cool I guess, but it kind of feels like too much all at once and nothing influences anything else, it's just like a gallery.

There's no indication what you have to do to progress and once you actually get to the next stage there is no indication which scenes have updated versions and which don't. The game would benefit a lot from a UI overhaul and maybe a restructuring. I appreciate all the different sex scenes but I wish there was more story content instead.

Version: v0.33
Note: I haven't played through everything, but I've played through enough of the content to write an accurate review even if other parts might happen to be different.

At this point the game needs a lot of reworking. The concept and story are interesting enough, but the scenes... Well, it's kind of how I'd imagine it would be like to read a bodice ripper (or similar manner of smut) with a "scene selection index" and a few illustrations.

The Creator seems to favour using words to describe the situations rather than images, so much so that I'd suspect that they are actually a published Author of smut, given the style of the writing. The "more words, less images" method would be fine in a book, and it might be acceptable in some erotic games if handled carefully, but this isn't a book and if it could be one of those games, then the Creator hasn't been careful enough.

Specific Areas of Criticism and General Suggestions For Revision:

• The 'dialogue' is heavily descriptive to the point of being tediously redundant. Even if a character is made to crawl though some manner of thick, viscus substance, the dialogue shouldn't feel the same to read.
• I'd suggest cutting down on the figurative language and cutting out much of what is currently present. We're here to play an erotic game. If we wanted to poetics we could find ourselves a smutty romance novel (I'm sure any stereotypical "Barbarian and Maiden" novel would probably have plenty).
• I'd recommend replacing instances of "she moaned" and suchlike with phonetic moaning. For example "Aahhh~", "Naaaahh~" and "Nnnnh" or something like "Mmmphmm" if the mouth is blocked. It's similar to replacing "she laughed" with "haha". The first would be the more professional way to describe laughter in a book while the second is the more appropriate version in games. Tip: think about how it would sound if the dialogue were voiced, and I don't mean by a narrator.
• The 'dialogue' screens are generally meant for actual dialogue/monologue/conversations/characters' thoughts or as descriptive aids to clarify the contents of the images. They should be used to supplement the CGs, not substitute for them. In other words (because I really want to make this point clear) the descriptions should be used to supplement the images, the images should not be used to supplement the descriptions.

On the other hand, I find the story interesting and enjoy the subject of the content itself, despite the issues with the style of portrayal. The game has a lot of potential, and I look forward to seeing it refined. I hope I'll be able to give it a higher rating in the future.


I should also note that the descriptive dialogue isn't actually "bad"; it just doesn't work well when used as part of a game. It could be rather decent if it were used in a novel instead. As much as the tedious use of the dialogue screens are an issue, the grammar is actually quite good. I've only noticed a few minor misspellings (an like having "lifts" where it should be "lift") and maybe a few minor inconsistencies which might just be due to my ignorance of the lore. Other than that there might be some slightly awkward grammar here or there but nothing that stuck out at me enough to remember.

PS: Where's the Corruption? As I understand it "Corruption" games generally require some kind of progression to occur with a character to unlock scenes with greater depravity (therefore growing more "corrupt"). So far it seems that any of the training scenes can be played without restriction. Version 1 just came out about 19 days ago, so I'm hoping that aspect simply hasn't been implemented yet and will be added in later releases.

As long as there's pregnancy and the mc is breeding the girls I'm fine with that. I hope that this doesn't get abandoned and I hope that it turns into a sandbox type of game where mc starts his own tribe loots human villages etc and theres replayability on it so random generated female characters with different appearances that we can alter, over all alot of potential to be something more than just a story type of game. I PRAY SUCCESS TO THE DEVELOPER AND HOPE THAT THE GOBLIN SLAYER DOESN'T HALT THE GAME

Edit: You know what... screw it. Going to 5. It ALREADY has more sex with the pregnant woman visuals than most games that get the pregnancy tag do in years of dev. If later versions I play down the road suck or get grindy or hard to play or something I'll lower it but for now, 5.

A solid 4 already, my hopes now up it becomes a 5.
It played smooth, had a lot of adult content for the effort, the scenes were wonderfully evilly decadent as befits the theme.
Hopefully more girls are added, LoL with the cave mantis what if I WANT her to birth out one of their eggs to teach her a lesson , but really the only reason I'm staying at 4 is it's still just a demo and short.
If It progresses like this down the road, that's a 5.

at the stage, it's interesting, good screen quality, but it' s lack of storytelling.
good actions variety in training process. if you put pregnant the captive à first week, you five or six week game (five or six turns).

I think this is really good but I really wish it were renpy so I could customize the dialogue. The dialogue has an overall bloated feel and also has a really weird contemporary feeling tone that doesn't feel at all like the time/place which I wish I could at least modify for myself. Overall, I still think it's good. I kinda wish the content was slightly grouped into stages like having 5 starting events like maybe most of the affection menu, cum plate, spanking, isolation available where each gives like 3 points or something and after 10 points you unlock a set of 10 events including the breeding menu then after 20 points you unlock more events, etc. Nothing frustrating or grindy but just so that it has a little bit of a sense of progression.

Very good start for a Demo version. Graphics are great. Good game if you want a fap while reading a story. Of course it still needs a lot of ironing out, but the art makes up for everything and the scenes are easy to access.

v0.33 demo:
I'm not really a fan of a goblin porn, so maybe the issues that bothered me isn't so much noticeable for a goblinhead.
First of all, it's poor story and writing. There is a boring intro with meaningless choices, the training scenes are cramped with words, and all that doesn't add much to the story or characters.
Second, game currently is more reminiscent of scene selector. There is nothing in between, like time, parameters, anything that can entail these scenes in world. You can cum 5 times in a row in all her orfices, or have her brain eaten by a slug, or put her in solitary for days, but then select other scene and have no consequences of your actions - well, until you manually pass a day. I understand that sounds as a weird critique for a triner type game, but it really feels empty.
Third, there is little of Affection path and a lot of abuse. It's poorly made, it's not a domination but a simple "you are my whoreslut". Also there is a section of trainings marked as BDSM, and I feel personally offended as these consent practices have nothing to do with the abuse in game.
Forth, imagery is mediocre at best. It's also quite sparce, about 3-4 per scene full with text passages.
Positives:
It's labeled as a demo, so probably gameplay could be improved.
There is a lot of heavy fetishes involved, that's bold
Pregnancy is a thing