Stylish and well put together, but way too much text. I'd say about half of the text that's there could be removed and nothing would be lost. Same problem lots of modern writers have: Taking us step by step through each scene, no time skips, analyzing every little detail and telling us about every moment of the day. Just BORING dude. Skip time, I don't need to see the drive to work, I don't need everything overanalyzed.
Cutting out 50%+ of the text would make the game more playable, and give you less work to do. It's a win-win.
It's obvious the game is trying to slow-burn, but there are faster ways to slow-burn than this. A slow-burn has to draw you in and invest you. If I'm thinking about doing something else while I'm reading, then your writing has failed. Scenes should have a variety of slower, more thoughtful scenes where we're really drawn in, and quick punchy scenes that convey the message quickly. The first three scenes drag on, too much exposition, not enough movement through the story. If I haven't made myself clear, everything that's in these scenes could be effectively conveyed with way less text and effort.
It's a damn shame to have to ignore this game because, for AI art (while not perfect), it is very well put together. Unfortunately I found myself clicking through the text without reading it before even getting to any nudity.
I'm not trying to be hostile, I'm trying to get this to the dev because I truly believe what I'm saying, and I do believe this can be a great game with the right application. I have some mixed feelings about the AI (it isn't perfect, but it's above average). I just can't invest my time into another click-fest, like so many visual novels do. I'm not saying you need to rush to the sex scenes, but if you can't make me last long enough to get to one, then you've failed.
I sincerely hope the dev has success, even if he doesn't take my advice. Hoping for great things for this project.
Cutting out 50%+ of the text would make the game more playable, and give you less work to do. It's a win-win.
It's obvious the game is trying to slow-burn, but there are faster ways to slow-burn than this. A slow-burn has to draw you in and invest you. If I'm thinking about doing something else while I'm reading, then your writing has failed. Scenes should have a variety of slower, more thoughtful scenes where we're really drawn in, and quick punchy scenes that convey the message quickly. The first three scenes drag on, too much exposition, not enough movement through the story. If I haven't made myself clear, everything that's in these scenes could be effectively conveyed with way less text and effort.
It's a damn shame to have to ignore this game because, for AI art (while not perfect), it is very well put together. Unfortunately I found myself clicking through the text without reading it before even getting to any nudity.
I'm not trying to be hostile, I'm trying to get this to the dev because I truly believe what I'm saying, and I do believe this can be a great game with the right application. I have some mixed feelings about the AI (it isn't perfect, but it's above average). I just can't invest my time into another click-fest, like so many visual novels do. I'm not saying you need to rush to the sex scenes, but if you can't make me last long enough to get to one, then you've failed.
I sincerely hope the dev has success, even if he doesn't take my advice. Hoping for great things for this project.