I’ve always used adult games as a helper for, you know, taking care of myself. I just wanted to see those steamy scenes to get in the mood, never cared about the story or plot. But then, this game hit me with a bloody CG that made me curious about its storyline—and honestly, that was the decision I regret the most.
I can handle urine and "brown cake" stuff, but this messed-up plot? It hit me hard, left me feeling super down and miserable... Even the pleasure of orgasm couldn’t make up for the negativity it brought. I hate how fragile I am about this.
Is good to be fragile and empathetic, it means you have a good heart. I care a lot about suffering and misery, but I enjoy depravity as well.
As long as it is fiction, a safe space, you can indulge these dark desires, these primal urges. It is a problem if you start to become fixated on it, if it is your only way of achieving arousal, or if you suddenly feel like going out to do people like Ted Bundy. But it is normal and healthy to acknowledge the inner shadow, these weird desires and fantasies, rather than repress them. We are complex creatures, with impulses toward beauty and uglyness, purity and corruption. before I tended to chastise myself a lot because of my fetishes and sexual imagination, but now I just accept myself.
I do this also with art, writing dark fantasy and horror, enjoying games like Darkwood, Dark Souls, Fear & Hunger, or books like the ones in my signature, etc.
Wank in peace fellow human, as long as you do well and good in the real world, do not blame, care or punish yourself psychologically for your sexual fantasies and taste. And if a genre, scenario or act is too much for you, then it is not for you and that is ok too.
