Well cirtainly, its very short, so there is not too much to say, but ill try, first of all, whoever said broken english is DEAD wrong, it might not be perfect, but its cirtainly not broken..i havent found a single misstake, 90% of native english speaking cant write this well.. as for the game itself,, i like the descriptive start, to really get a feeling for the character, since you are using different images and clips, i think its a good idea to describe her in that way, it wouldnt matter to me, but i am sure someone else would like to be able to customisze those descriptions.. big, medium and small breasts are just simple variables that needs to be put in the script.. or chestnut, blonde, red and yet black hair.. you get the point..i like the very detailed part about how the MC impacts michael, infact i think the only criticism i have is that when you get to the action, all this goes away, its super quick, no details, its basicly "and then you dominate him"... the clips are good but i can see from the start that you are capable of writing a very detailed explict desription of how excatly it goes down, but for some reason have not.. maybe i am in the minority here, but i think thats the absolute most important thing "he proves a willing subject and eager to please you in everyway" falls flat, especialy since you obviously CAN write descriptive scenes...
I look forward to the next one, please dont stop working on it
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