HTML The Assignment [v0.02b] [thegp]

[thegp]

i cant seem to do anything, cant figure out how to get to class (even though i get to campus at 10 AM) cant find anyone to talk to, tried applying for jobs but the cafe doesnt appear as an option for me to visit and the library just says not implemented yet, dont know if im missing something or something else lol

Hey, the buttons for attending to classes, story events and your job appear at the lower side of the left sidebar.

The option for going to class appears from Monday to Friday at 9am and the option for going to work appears everyday at 1pm.

Please let me know if it’s really not appearing and if so, if you’re using a downloaded version or the online itch.io version

 

[mide]

View attachment 5118259

Oh, man. Just imagine trying to use this laptop afterwards.

is that 7 fingers lmfao

 

[thegp]

is that 7 fingers lmfao

Yeah... It's fixed in the new version, though...

 

[Nimbus Commando]

The game's focus is sissification, so I don't think the futa path will be skipable for a while. I have intention of making an alpha path in the future, but I intend to focus on these 5 fist. About lesbian, I think it is skipable (of course, if you don't consider shemale with female a lesbian relationship)

Guess that means I am waiting a few years to try the game, then see you when the alpha path is done.

 

[Kybo]

thegp To get a Developers badge

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[thegp]

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Thanks! I've just requested it through your instructions!

-thegp

 

[wtfimmune]

I know I'm a snob but the chatgpt writing is so awful I actually vomit. I'm not even anti-ai in general, it's just trash-tier at writing, I guarantee everyone reading this comment can write better than chatgpt.

 

[thegp]

I know I'm a snob but the chatgpt writing is so awful I actually vomit. I'm not even anti-ai in general, it's just trash-tier at writing, I guarantee everyone reading this comment can write better than chatgpt.

The text is not chatgpt written. I actually wrote it. Sorry if you find if awful tho... If you can point out something that I can improve upon in the writting, I'd be happy to.

 

[Albaerion]

The text is not chatgpt written. I actually wrote it. Sorry if you find if awful tho... If you can point out something that I can improve upon in the writting, I'd be happy to.

If you want to make it sound less AI-generated, here's some pieces of advice:
-You should insert occasional longer action beats, interrupted thoughts, or student interjections between dialogue lines. The way you write it currently is very orderly like AI. You follow a quote-description-quote rhythm which makes your story understandable and precise but also makes it feel scripted and artificial.
-You should vary the paragraph length more, too. The easiest way to make it feel less scripted is to mix a long descriptive chunk with rapid-fire single sentences, instead of consistent medium-sized blocks.
-You should introduce half-finished sentences, self-corrections, or subtle redundancies in dialogue. People don't speak perfectly all the time.
-You should also have an unexpected noise, a student shifting in a chair, or someone dropping a pen so as to break the flow mid-thought. That way it'll feel more realistic and less structured.
Of course, please do apply all of this in moderation. Adding in too much of this will make your story lose coherence, but adding a slight bit of variation may make your writing style less ChatGPT-like.
That said, I'm not a professional writer or a writing coach or something similar, so do take my recommendations with a grain of salt. I'm only mentioning certain differences that I observed between your writing and more human-sounding writing, and my observations may be inaccurate or incomplete.

 

[thegp]

[

If you want to make it sound less AI-generated, here's some pieces of advice:
-You should insert occasional longer action beats, interrupted thoughts, or student interjections between dialogue lines. The way you write it currently is very orderly like AI. You follow a quote-description-quote rhythm which makes your story understandable and precise but also makes it feel scripted and artificial.
-You should vary the paragraph length more, too. The easiest way to make it feel less scripted is to mix a long descriptive chunk with rapid-fire single sentences, instead of consistent medium-sized blocks.
-You should introduce half-finished sentences, self-corrections, or subtle redundancies in dialogue. People don't speak perfectly all the time.
-You should also have an unexpected noise, a student shifting in a chair, or someone dropping a pen so as to break the flow mid-thought. That way it'll feel more realistic and less structured.
Of course, please do apply all of this in moderation. Adding in too much of this will make your story lose coherence, but adding a slight bit of variation may make your writing style less ChatGPT-like.
That said, I'm not a professional writer or a writing coach or something similar, so do take my recommendations with a grain of salt. I'm only mentioning certain differences that I observed between your writing and more human-sounding writing, and my observations may be inaccurate or incomplete.

Thanks! I will consider this when I am writing the next passages.
I am not a professional writer and English is not my native language, so maybe this might have something to do with it. I'm writing in the structure I've learnt to. But I'm glad you give me those tips. It will help me to improve.

-thegp

 

[Navaria]

[


Thanks! I will consider this when I am writing the next passages.
I am not a professional writer and English is not my native language, so maybe this might have something to do with it. I'm writing in the structure I've learnt to. But I'm glad you give me those tips. It will help me to improve.

-thegp

A few tips of my own:

• Active voice is preferable to passive voice, unless you have good cause to use progressive form. For example, you wrote "I will consider this when I am writing the next passages". The active voice version would be "I will consider this when I write the next passages". Passive voice makes things sound, well, passive.
• Contrary to popular belief, there are varying levels of formality in English, but it's much more subjective than a language like Japanese. Formal English is easy to get from MTL and ChatGPT. However, informal English is much harder to make unless you're familiar with the language.
• As that other poster said, SFX is good to include. I want to hear things like footsteps and doors opening and closing.

 

[wtfimmune]

The text is not chatgpt written. I actually wrote it. Sorry if you find if awful tho... If you can point out something that I can improve upon in the writting, I'd be happy to.

I don't believe you... did you write it but then run it through an ai to correct grammar or improve flow or something? it's not that the writing is necessarily bad, the problem is that it's repetitive and inappropriate, I see patterns everywhere that I don't see elsewhere. I'm not smart enough to put words on it so I can only give examples.

"You played for hours. Nothing serious, nothing competitive." This two adjective description pattern is super common for AI writing. "It felt distant, surreal" "something industrial, something loud." "Dr. Evelyn Marlowe stands motionless in front of it, not speaking, not moving" "Not facts. Not logic. Belief." "Just a paper. Just a class. Right?" "Clean. Folded, but not really." "Write a reflection. No grades. No format. Just honesty."

"You close your eyes. Not to sleep yet, just to listen." this is another really common one. 'It's not x, it's y' "Psychology isn’t about right answers. It’s about asking the questions no one wants to ask." "This course isn’t about tearing away those layers. It’s about noticing them." "You’re not just students. You’re sons."

I don't know how to explain this one but "The other half? To figure everyone else out." screams AI to me, idk why. I think it's being dramatic in a weird place.

AIs also put a lot of super random ellipses everywhere. I think it's trying to be dramatic here too "Either way, this semester is about pushing your understanding of human behavior... and more importantly" "It will be... immersive." "but not in a bad way, just… charged" "Yes. She’s weird, but... interesting." " I expect psychological depth. Not judgment. You’re to examine how perception shifts... when it’s pushed just " (this one even had a I expect x not y lol)

Sophia's whole introduction also rang alarm bells, way too dramatic.

There's also some repetition in general, for example I swear I've seen "Try not to be too predictable before then." or something similar like 5 thousand times in my short playthrough.

And then there's the classic em dash, everyone knows about that.

When the sentence structure and text becomes this repetitive and predictable combined with the weirdly dramatic tone I become distracted really easily and unable to focus on anything else.

If you really didn't use AI then I guess I'm just schizo beyond belief.

 

[thegp]

A few tips of my own:

• Active voice is preferable to passive voice, unless you have good cause to use progressive form. For example, you wrote "I will consider this when I am writing the next passages". The active voice version would be "I will consider this when I write the next passages". Passive voice makes things sound, well, passive.
• Contrary to popular belief, there are varying levels of formality in English, but it's much more subjective than a language like Japanese. Formal English is easy to get from MTL and ChatGPT. However, informal English is much harder to make unless you're familiar with the language.
• As that other poster said, SFX is good to include. I want to hear things like footsteps and doors opening and closing.

That's quite useful to me. English is not my native language, so it's pretty hard for me to sound like a native, even in writing. I've been getting some complaints about the text, and I've already improved apart of it from v0.01 to v0.02 and as I try to learn, I intend to improve them trying to make them more natural, and writing better ones for the future updates.

Btw, SFX will be in the game on v0.04


-thegp

 

[thegp]

I don't believe you... did you write it but then run it through an ai to correct grammar or improve flow or something? it's not that the writing is necessarily bad, the problem is that it's repetitive and inappropriate, I see patterns everywhere that I don't see elsewhere. I'm not smart enough to put words on it so I can only give examples.

"You played for hours. Nothing serious, nothing competitive." This two adjective description pattern is super common for AI writing. "It felt distant, surreal" "something industrial, something loud." "Dr. Evelyn Marlowe stands motionless in front of it, not speaking, not moving" "Not facts. Not logic. Belief." "Just a paper. Just a class. Right?" "Clean. Folded, but not really." "Write a reflection. No grades. No format. Just honesty."

"You close your eyes. Not to sleep yet, just to listen." this is another really common one. 'It's not x, it's y' "Psychology isn’t about right answers. It’s about asking the questions no one wants to ask." "This course isn’t about tearing away those layers. It’s about noticing them." "You’re not just students. You’re sons."

I don't know how to explain this one but "The other half? To figure everyone else out." screams AI to me, idk why. I think it's being dramatic in a weird place.

AIs also put a lot of super random ellipses everywhere. I think it's trying to be dramatic here too "Either way, this semester is about pushing your understanding of human behavior... and more importantly" "It will be... immersive." "but not in a bad way, just… charged" "Yes. She’s weird, but... interesting." " I expect psychological depth. Not judgment. You’re to examine how perception shifts... when it’s pushed just " (this one even had a I expect x not y lol)

Sophia's whole introduction also rang alarm bells, way too dramatic.

There's also some repetition in general, for example I swear I've seen "Try not to be too predictable before then." or something similar like 5 thousand times in my short playthrough.

And then there's the classic em dash, everyone knows about that.

When the sentence structure and text becomes this repetitive and predictable combined with the weirdly dramatic tone I become distracted really easily and unable to focus on anything else.

If you really didn't use AI then I guess I'm just schizo beyond belief.

Well, I understand where this is coming from. As a non-native English speaker, it's quite hard for me to sound as natural as I would like. And I've got feedback about the writing style in v0.01 and I've been trying to improve it for the upcoming versions. I did use AI for proofreading the text, not for writing it. I'm not using it anymore because most of the time, it was rewriting the whole text instead of just fixing my mistakes, so maybe it has something to do with that.

Thank you for giving me the examples you did, because it gave me a better vision of these patterns so I can avoid them and know ways I can improve. I just want to make a good game that people will enjoy. That's all.

-thegp

 

[Navaria]

Honestly, you'll probably need to run your text through MS Word's grammar checker to make sure your stuff is legible. I wouldn't try to use sentence fragments unless you really know what you're doing.

Also, judging by the writing examples above, it looks like you're avoiding the use of conjunctions at all costs. You should stop that behavior immediately. While you should rarely try to weld long sentences together (I would advise using semicolons or dashes for welding long, related statements instead), I can see several good opportunities to bind some adjectives together without needing a comma.

For example, my proposals for how you could fix some of the examples with conjunctions, better adjective order, and improved word choice:

• "You played for hours. Nothing serious, nothing competitive." -> "You played for hours, though you can't say you were really into it."
• "It felt distant, surreal" -> "It felt distant and surreal."
• "something industrial, something loud." -> "something loud, and industrial."
• "Dr. Evelyn Marlowe stands motionless in front of it, not speaking, not moving" -> "Dr. Evelyn Marlowe simply stands there, unmoving, without a word."
• "Not facts. Not logic. Belief." -> (Honestly I don't think this fragment can be salvaged. It would have to be incorporated into the surrounding context, such as: )-> "Only belief can explain this. Not facts, nor logic."
• "Just a paper. Just a class. Right?" -> (Same as above) -> "I'm just writing a paper for a class. Nothing major, right?"
• "Clean. Folded, but not really." -> (I don't know what you're trying to say here. The phrase is complete nonsense, so I'll try to add my own context: ) -> "The towels are clean and folded...sort of."
• "Write a reflection. No grades. No format. Just honesty." -> "I want you to write a reflection. I won't be grading this, and I won't require you to follow any particular format. Just write what comes to mind."