I give it two stars because it did have the ability to get me horny over it, that being said the story need some real work.
Some suggestions to clean up the story: (spoilers to some degree ahead)
1. character's say "heh" or some variation of it way too much.
2. Dialogue is pretty terrible. With very little backstory mixed in with it. You don't really know if when the characters such as what I assume is the two interns of your mother's work, have met before or not, or if they did meet, how? It's hard to read into the situation and know if the girls are interested in him, or outright terrified of him. Do they know he's a hitman?
3. The thai food thing being put in way too late made everything feel off, a simple "oh that must be the thai food getting to me" when she bends over before running to the bathroom would make things smoother and more understandable.
4. Telling us whether it's a good idea to use the "slut pills" or not with a hint before the choice would be a best practice.
5. Is our mother scared of us? Why is she scared of us? What has happened with them in the past, establish this before moving on to the ass grabbing and fingering of her.
6. Don't make us watch the character have a walk animation, it's fine to just skin to he next room or have the camera move from room to room like it already does, just without the character in front of the camera, when we have to watch his (frankly bad) moving animations it just makes things seem jarring.
I think the author is trying to make the main character seem edgy and evil/dark, but that should be portrayed through other's perceptions of him and by his actions, not by his way of speaking. Use less "..."s and the conversation in the car at the beginning of the game didn't feel natural until the end where he says "i love you too" and she says "oh fuck you" everything before that felt like the cring-y type of broody. If you want to set atmosphere focus less on what the characters say and how they say it and more on explaining the way things feel, smell, or taste to make the story more enticing.
And then not story related, but some of the animations are a bit sketch, like when you finger your mom, why does her pussy and asshole move like 3 inches to the top right? Some stretching/moving of a vagina/nipple/ whatever is good, but limit it to within a half an inch distance or it just looks tacky.
The cg models aren't too bad, the scene with the two interns and how it evolves isn't too bad. Game needs a lot of polish though before it could be considered average or better. That being said it has potential, if the story gets a good polish and the dialogue gets a spelling, grammar, and writing improvement, and the bits of animations that are out of place get improved on a bit, then the whole thing could become a great story with good writing and fun scenes. Keep at it Dev and dig in on the details some. Best of luck.
Some suggestions to clean up the story: (spoilers to some degree ahead)
1. character's say "heh" or some variation of it way too much.
2. Dialogue is pretty terrible. With very little backstory mixed in with it. You don't really know if when the characters such as what I assume is the two interns of your mother's work, have met before or not, or if they did meet, how? It's hard to read into the situation and know if the girls are interested in him, or outright terrified of him. Do they know he's a hitman?
3. The thai food thing being put in way too late made everything feel off, a simple "oh that must be the thai food getting to me" when she bends over before running to the bathroom would make things smoother and more understandable.
4. Telling us whether it's a good idea to use the "slut pills" or not with a hint before the choice would be a best practice.
5. Is our mother scared of us? Why is she scared of us? What has happened with them in the past, establish this before moving on to the ass grabbing and fingering of her.
6. Don't make us watch the character have a walk animation, it's fine to just skin to he next room or have the camera move from room to room like it already does, just without the character in front of the camera, when we have to watch his (frankly bad) moving animations it just makes things seem jarring.
I think the author is trying to make the main character seem edgy and evil/dark, but that should be portrayed through other's perceptions of him and by his actions, not by his way of speaking. Use less "..."s and the conversation in the car at the beginning of the game didn't feel natural until the end where he says "i love you too" and she says "oh fuck you" everything before that felt like the cring-y type of broody. If you want to set atmosphere focus less on what the characters say and how they say it and more on explaining the way things feel, smell, or taste to make the story more enticing.
And then not story related, but some of the animations are a bit sketch, like when you finger your mom, why does her pussy and asshole move like 3 inches to the top right? Some stretching/moving of a vagina/nipple/ whatever is good, but limit it to within a half an inch distance or it just looks tacky.
The cg models aren't too bad, the scene with the two interns and how it evolves isn't too bad. Game needs a lot of polish though before it could be considered average or better. That being said it has potential, if the story gets a good polish and the dialogue gets a spelling, grammar, and writing improvement, and the bits of animations that are out of place get improved on a bit, then the whole thing could become a great story with good writing and fun scenes. Keep at it Dev and dig in on the details some. Best of luck.
