VN - Ren'Py - Completed - The Entrepreneur [Complete Edition] [MisterMaya]

I'm not happy about it but I have to be honest with myself.
I didn't enjoy this VN nearly as much as I thought I would.

There are three main reasons why my experience was not great.

1) The fact that relationships feel very artificial. Especially the way you drop out of paths by disappointing LIs or making a choice at their expense while basically being "Mr. Perfect" up until that point. The fact that LIs suddenly surprise you with expressions of love, all of them almost at the same time when it's convenient from a development point of view. It's like checklist romance.

It's not how you write a procedural or how relationships would evolve organically, it feels more like a way for a developer to enforce a certain path in order to be cost-efficient.

2) The plot is very generic. The main antagonist it depicted as a cunning man but his methods are simply uninspired and weak in their execution. Lucy just needs to walk around one night to expose his grand scheme for everyone to see, when he uses violence it's completely disproportionate and shows desperation to a degree that was never shown or hinted at up to that point.

3) The relationship between the MC and the LI is an utterly white knight fantasy where the MC gives and the LIs take. He is definitely a superchad, without flaws and solving all conflicts without major problems. The LIs are unable to solve anything on their own, their vision and perception revolves around the MC as their only hope to achieve anything of value in their lives.

I don't want to torpedo a VN by giving a bad review and clearly a lot of work went into this project. That is why it deserves three stars. But I have seen VNs with worse technical execution that I enjoyed much more because of better writing.

The Cons
The game is missing a lot of polish. Missing renders. Dialogue that reflects choices you didn't make. Characters you never met (from a path) appearing and acting like they know you. The wrong character saying lines.

The Pros.
Decent story. Quality models. Likeable characters. Some decent comedy. Could be a good game with more polish but in it's current state It's average to slightly above average.

Quite decent AVN, definitely better than the average. And I think this is the first one made by MisterMaya. Good start, I'd say. The story is decent and the characters' writing is OK too. There's nice humor pieces as well.

As for the girls found in the game, although beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my take is that the main girls are easy on the eye. Among the side girls, Lily and Paige are also very good looking, so much, that I would have liked for them to have her own endings.

Also, I'd like to mention that during some passages I felt the influence that the work of some well known and established AVN creator has had on this game.



Now I'm gonna speak about those aspects of the game that do not work too well in my experience.

For starters, some inconsistencies can be found in the writing. For example, the protagonist's age does not make much sense to me. At some point we read that he is twenty-four, like Valentine. Is that not a strange age for someone that has abandoned college studies before the due time?

I miss more build-up of the romance with the girls.

Getting Lucy's ending can be troublesome. It is not as straightforward as with the other girls. Also, I think it would have been nice if the player had had more saying in choosing his girl in the end.

The epilogue could also be better. During the game, the protagonist become real friends with the girls. And yet, in the end, once we get to see him with the chosen girl, it's like the other girls have stopped existing altogether. We don't get to know what's become of them at all. Again, some inconsistency in the narrative.

But all in all, and despite its problems, the game is really decent and I wish its creator good luck in his future projects.

Episodes were quite good, would give it 8/10 as there were a few things I think could have been done in a better way.

1) DRILLING THE TUNNELS: The sex scenes looked rushed especially in case of Valentine and Laura. In one moment they are blowing each other off and just one click you see them riding MC like a horse at a high speed, you could have added different positions or made the scenes a little more intimate especially with Laura. The scenes looks as if the dev was trying to end them as fast as he could.

2) ENDINGS: I hoped for a little better than just a few renders during credit scenes, like a proper marriage venue scenario with all the LI's and them saying the vows with MC or their honeymoon stuff or their vacation or whatever they did in future etc........ Putting 4-5 renders during credits was kinda .
While for the LI's not chosen a little bit about them too eg: If u chose Val in the end, you could have added some renders showing Alexa succeeding in her career, Lucy opening another chain of bar, Laura and Paige enjoying their time etc. So yeah endings were a huge let down.

These were some things I found lacking in the E4, rest was quite good.

A decent first try of a game IMO.
-Good:
1. Renders. Girls look gorgeous.
2. Characters. The girls are kind of realistic. Their stories are plausible, they don't look and behave too slutty, for an erotic game, and they are mostly lovable. It's also plausible that they all feel attracted by a guy like the MC, that is not a perv, an idiot or a doormat, like happens in lots of games.
3. Music. Good selection of songs.
4. The dev don't try to lecture the player with woke ideology, like other devs do.

-Not so good:
1.Plot. Is not that is bad. Is just... uninteresting. The strong point of erotic-romantic game like this one should be the story of the MC and the girls. But the dev has decided that all girls fall for MC just like that, without any effort, conflict or drama, and the drama comes from an uninteresting subplot about real state... It's like an episode of a bad TV thriller. It's a mistake IMO. I would prefer if the dev just would have removed all the "noir" subplot and centered in the relationship with the girls, including jealousy and conflict. And not finishing it with just a "By the way, I ended up with X girl".
2. Some animations are great, like the one of the camera traveling around the house to see what every girl is doing at that moment. But most of the animations of people just walking around the street or a shop are a waste of resources and time. The dev should learn which scenes deserve an animation and which one don't.
3. Not a lot of humor. It would be great if the MC would be more witty and make the girls (and the player) laugh.

One of the best completed VNs!You should all just play it and discover its greatness!Thanks to @MisterMaya that created such a nice storyline,a great build up with most of the girls(even tho I wanted some more in the mix + some more endings with more girls, but its okay).I really hope you all can check this VN out and help @MisterMaya by rating it here or with any way that you can help ! Take care !
KV

Great game.
Amazing story, writing, renders, animations, characters, music, lightning.
I like those references to other games.

Characters looks like they share the same model, which is bad.
I dont like like everyone is putting their hand over the head all the time, its weird as hell.

Otherwise it is really a good one!

The Entrepreneur - very solid game with pretty intriguing story and kinda unique setting? I mean, do you know many games about MC managing his father's bar? I doubt it
To be honest, the first Episode was very controversial and I was a bit bored of reading the story and watching how MC's relationship with main LIs started to develop. But the second and third Episodes saved the day. The game starts to shine much brighter and becomes more interesting with some kind of tension and danger around antagonists.
First of all - a few words about music. It was pretty enjoyable and in most cases suited scenes quite nicely.
Story itself is quite interesting and I liked the fact that this game is not just about endless character's dates and sex scenes but it also revolves around some kind of "gangsters" who want to hurt our MC or anyone who's connected with him.
Despite the developer being French, I haven't noticed too serious mistakes or cringy/unlogical dialogues. It can be polished here and there but overall - pretty pleasant writing.
My favourite part about this game - characters. Yes, they're kinda "cliche" with their personalities aka cute and inexperienced girl, "bitchy" media-star girl, childhood friend and more mature woman with problematic personal life. Yeah, we all have seen this many times but let me assure you that their paths are quite interesting and unique in their own way and I truly cared about some of them. Especially Valentine, since this kind of "bitchy" but very sweet and caring deep inside girls are my absolute weakness
All of them look incredibly beautiful and more or less different from what you've seen in other games but sometimes I had thoughts that a few girls shares the same face with only hairstyle difference.
As for visuals and animations, I can say for sure that developer did a great job with providing us really beautiful renders, high-quality animations and some kind of "cinematics". Also it's worth mentioning devs attention to details and background in particular scenes. I've seen dozens of games where developers completely ignored and neglected this aspect and none of the scenes in their games were "alive". Not sure how clearly I've described it but in general - I love games with any kind of details in scenes/events where you can actually see that main cast of characters are not the only living people in town and there is some person walking by or some people standing/talking in the background and this game is one of those.
Also I like the facial expressions of characters during dialogues. It's not like they're standing with the same face throughout the whole interaction, their faces are constantly changing or they're at least blinking (not sure if it was present earlier but I do remember one scene with a blinking girl in the last update).
As for animations, I don't know.. Yeah, they look really amazing and not every game has such high-quality animations but I felt like most of them were kinda.. too slow? (I'm talking particularly about lewd scenes, other animations were pretty good)
Well, what else to say? I'd like to mention few *not very good* moments in the story that almost makes no sense but I don't want to give any spoilers for those who will read this review.
Overall - very promising and solid game with great visuals, pleasant storytelling, good music and really awesome characters. I will definitely follow this project.

Great games with stupid names.
I hadn´t played it sooner because of it.
I guess that´s the way it´s gotta be, if you´re gonna make a AVN with a real story you´re not gonna call it "tits n´ass".

It´s really good. The story, the LIs, the MC are all well done.
There are 4 LIs, all different and compeling, with backstories and a life.
I can nitpic and say that 4 LIs in a story like this is too much unless there´s a douchebag route, it loses focus and really just a waste.

It took me a few hours for a 0.3 version and the end gives me some doubts. It will become wild or depressing for sure.

For now just try it and be surprised.

PS: Sex wise te LI´s are a bit off limits but you have 5 scenes one time only deals that are nice.

Edit: Sorry. I had to come back because I couldn't finish it.
I've really tried to like this game but I just can't do it. It's too boring.
Everything about it is technically sound. Renders are crisp and fresh. I like the soundtrack. No especially egregious grammar or spelling mistakes. I just find it boring.If I could try to pinpoint what it might be then:
- I think that the dialogue is just too wordy. It flows well but at some point, I just tune out because they're taking so long to just say one or two things. I'm a pretty long-winded person myself but for a VN or maybe even for game dialogue in general, it should read a little short and sweet. Especially when there's no game mechanics or action.
- It also just feels awkward at times. I can't tell why but it makes me feel like I'm constantly about to trip on something and have to brace myself.
- The overall direction of scenes also feels kind of flat. There are no highs and lows or they're just not very emphasized well. It feels like one long trudge and I'm just thinking, "When do I get to run the bar and meet all the fun characters?"

Honestly, it's just very weird for me to not like something when everything is so technically sound. think the problem might just be lack of experience because what I find wrong with it is so high-level that I can't even describe it accurately.
I think this is the dev's first game so it's already pretty amazing if what I don't like about is some highly advanced writing concept I can't even fully describe since I don't know enough about writing.
But ... doesn't change the fact that it stills bores the crap out of me. Still, really looking forward to future projects from this dev since he'll get more experience from this game. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

[Ep. 3] Spoilers below.

After several recommendations, I've spent the past several nights playing this game, and I'm really glad I did.

I like the characters. Most of them are fleshed out and three-dimensional. Even the villains are compelling. The setting is tropey (hot stranger moves into a house full of single models) and there is plenty to complain about (huge dick, every woman immediately falling for MC) but there is also plenty to like.

I liked the ease of sexual banter with non-MC men. Lucas' quips with Lucy at the nightclub were fun. Likewise, it's good to see women chasing one-night stands for a change. Nadia and Nicole both knew what they wanted, and it wasn't romance. Nicole in particular was amazing.

As for the main LIs, the only one that's been a hard pass for me is Alexa. She's cute, but a teenager is still a kid, despite her protestations. She is clueless about relationships, sex, and even basic human anatomy. It just feels wrong to pursue her. Besides, could you really be in a relationship with someone who enjoys Sunshine Love? I'm glad we got to see her acting and meet her friend group. It shows that she has a good life outside the MC and while she wants him, she doesn't particularly need him. I really like that!

Lucy is nice, but feels underdeveloped. She's little more than MC's sidekick and doesn't really exist outside that relationship. She could use some attention from the dev.

Valentine is lovely. I admit I've found her off-putting initially, but she has shown tremendous improvement in a very short time, perhaps to an unrealistic degree. I find her job irksome (as I do IRL) but it doesn't seem to dominate her life - it's just work. And then there is Sam. I'm glad he isn't a clichéd monstrous ex. He's merely an ordinary man who lost his way and made some terrible decisions, but he seems to be on the right track and genuinely wants to make amends. His presence provides fertile ground for Valentine's character growth, and I thought it was handled very well. Svetlana pushing Valentine towards forgiveness, and encouraging her to talk to Sam despite his abusive past was great to see.

That brings us to Laura. Hot women with dead husbands are an AVN cliché. It's usually nothing more than a story device to create a sexually frustrated woman who simply must have MC's dick. Well, Laura is anything but that. I love the way the game deals with unexpected loss. It's very gentle, careful and realistic. By all accounts, Andrew was a great man and Laura is still deeply in love with him despite the passing years, and feels horribly guilty for being interested in another. She knows her reaction isn't rational, but grief rarely is, and MC is uniquely well positioned to understand that. It wasn't rational for him to abandon his education and a promising future career to revive a derelict bar either, but he did it anyway. It's a nice juxtaposition to Laura's situation, and gives them common ground. I particularly liked her dream where she accidentally mentions MC to her husband. It's a compelling way to address her inflict conflict, and trying to make sense of her past and present. She is the only one I have eyes for

I tried to keep my choices as true to life as possible; to choose as I would have done in those circumstances. That means a young man who wants to have some fun, but isn't willing to risk hurting the people he lives with and cares about. That translates to sticking to one-night stands that wouldn't get anyone's feelings hurt - Nadia, Nicole and Lily, but not Elena or Coralie.

I've also passed on sleeping with Lucy for similar reasons. She is gorgeous and has history with MC, but it felt like she wasn't the casual sex kind of girl despite seemingly offering it. I felt extremely validated in my choice when I read the script and what do you know, she is exactly the kind of person who asks "are we a couple now?" after sex There is nothing wrong with that, of course, but the one I was really interested in was Laura, and I wasn't willing to risk a love triangle.

I'm also a fan of the Alexa/Elena story line. It's not a path I took, but hurting someone you care about in a major way for short-term pleasure, and then having to slowly, painfully rebuild that relationship is not something you see in VNs. It's so messy, toxic and real!

I also love that, no matter what you do, Valentine falls for MC and confesses her love. I care a lot about LI agency, much more so than player agency. It is so rare for developers to force players into uncomfortable (but real!) choices like that. MisterMaya deserves massive kudos for it!

This review is already way too long, so I'm going to stop here and urge everyone to give The Entrepreneur a shot. It's well worth your time

I wanted to start my post with great justifications but found it boring, so I deleted everything I wanted to say.

I don't want to make enemies, so I won't say anything about the game reviews I read.

What I liked, I will save for the author and tell him directly what is cool and what I did not like on his Patreon or Discord.

For a first solo experience, the developer shares his game with us.

I appreciated details that I didn't find in bigger games, which are much more appreciated by the community.

We can always do better with good constructive criticism. I wish the developer the best of luck with his game.

Awesome game, really deserves more recognition! What stands out for me is that the friendship path with each girl is really well handled so far. I'm a sucker for monogamy and I hate how other games either force you to go after every LI or make you feel bad for rejecting them.
The only "negative" to this game is that there are a few spelling / grammar mistakes and sometimes conversation feels a little stilted. But the Dev explains in the Intro that they're French so I'm not gonna let it affect my rating. Maybe when the game really takes off they will be able to get a proof reader. Though I'm sure some fans (me included) would be happy to provide that service to the dev

EP. 3

Hire only one woman to play four roles (V+A+Lucy+Paige)?
Really poor production company...

The above-mentioned main female characters look exactly the same, I think this is a mess.
In my eyes, they just have different hairstyles, they are all the same model.

The choices in the game are actually equal to none, almost only let you decide whether or not to "peek".

The later scenes are often filled with a bunch of other people talking to each other, and the MC is often not there, you just watch the other people talking... super boring.

Version played: v0.2
This review is counted on that I have not played the Christmas episode.

This is definitely 1 of those high tier ones that exist on this site. Firstly, the renders are bright and clear. Second, the renders itself are detailed, there is effort put in and it shows. An example of this is when MC is speaking with others characters, they will do some gestures like their heads will tilt left or right. A lot of other games will sometimes just give you a flat 1 image render with the story text and you have to stare at the character which is kind of mundane.

There is also ambient music most of the time and none when the scene is slightly more serious or negative and some sfx is also there.

A negative point I would point out is that the story is still building itself steadily and therefore there is little to none sex or sexual scenes with the MCs. The only 1 I got was with a non major character and that was by choice. I have not replayed it with different choices other than my this first run so I might be wrong.

Regardless, I am likely to come back to this in the future once it gets updated and hopefully the story and content by then would be much more expanded.

Despite having some good traits like having good graphism and attractive characters, the game is really quickly boring. The bad traits are :

- MC and female characters really are superficial, dialogues have very little depth and are badly managed (Conversations feel like MC knows all the characters for years while he just met them)
-Early scenario is wonky.
-I don't feel like there is much teasing.

Kind of a wasted potential.

Great start to a game! I like all the LI's and it's easy enough to get them all into the MC but it's more about building a relationship then just everyone wanting to instantly jump him which is cool. Will be interested to see where the over arching story goes as there's still a lot of mystery. The game does take some game logic as you could poke some holes in things and I have a feeling that you may be able to with some of the story moving forward but not enough to throw you out of the story. The renders and animations are also top notch. Strongly recommend giving it a go.

Starting out as something of a sleeper play (I didn't necessarily expect very much), I feel that this game could really become great in the future. All the girls are attractive and right now the story is intriguing. I'd say that while I don't think it's quite in the league of some of the tippy top games on here (At least my tippy top games), it could potentially get there as the story develops. It's definitely a cut above the average AVNs on here and may end up joining in the top echelon if things continue going well. Renders are excellent and for a second language, the English is pretty good. Story might need a bit of polish, but it can get there.

UPDATE:

I have been very pleased with the progress this game is making and have changed my rating from 4 stars to 5 to reflect just how much the story has been polished since I left my original review. Definitely recommend checking this one out if you can.

When I saw this game and all the great reviews, I wondered how I had overlooked this for so long. The truth is, however, the story is just kind of meh. The dev is talented and the renders are all pretty well done, and for English not being their first language, the dialogue is pretty good.

The problem is the story. Full disclosure... I am all about the fapping but these days, I need a good story too and this just isn't one. So if you are here for the fapping, 5 stars all the way, but if you want a story too then you might want to skip this.

I won't go into to many examples, but let's just look at the start of the game. The kid's father dies, leaves him a bar and a decent amount of savings so the kid moves back to take over the bar. So far so good... but he has to rent a place. Erm... Dad was smart enough to leave his kid money and a bar but no place to live? Plus, if he does have money, why is he looking to rent a room instead of an apartment for themselves? Of course, the only place available is a gorgeous house filled with hot women?

Plus, all the girls were hesitant to rent it to the MC after reading his profile, but when he gets there, he is warmly welcomed with no drama. Not to mention, the interview process and the argument he used for wanting to rent a place filled with women was laughable yet the girl bought it. I smell a Gary Sue...

In all fairness, the production is really well done and the girls are all smoking hot. The animation is really good. Seriously. The dev has a lot of skills and they have put a lot of work into this. Speaking as a failed developer, this dev seems committed, driven and talented.

For me, with all the great VNs out there, story has become very important for me and my selection process and this story just doesn't cut it. If you are into fapping and can deal with a mediocre story, then download and enjoy... just don't expect much from the story.

Update After Completion:
I went back and played this after it was finished and I bumped the rating up from 3 - 4 stars, mainly because the dev finished it and that much is appreciated. The dev also went back and addressed some of the early issues and the story definitely plays a little better. Still, the story is just a bit better than meh and the relationships don't always feel right. For example, I turned down Valentina every single time and yet they still had some naked time in the final section. Not sure how that happened. I also don't like how the MC always knows the right things to say and has helped all the girls "fix"themselves or become better people. It's just a bit too sweet.

I am being a little hard on the story because I have confidence the devs next story can be stronger and the MC a bit more well rounded and with a few flaws. A little less Gary Stu and a little more Peter Parker would be good.

I am really looking forward to the devs newest game.

This game shows great potential. (EP2)
In general the models in the game look very good and well defined. This part is by far the best part of the game. Because the writing and storybuilding can still improve.

The story is a bit cliché, a parent died and now you are on your own. For a first story it is not as bad as you just need something to begin with, but okay it is not the most original setting to say the least.

As for the writing, some of the interactions with the girls are very cringy and sometimes things go unnaturally fast. For example, the girl that was picked up via the street. That interaction was really cringy and it just did not make sense. Also she didnt come off as a sl*tty person. But while texting her, the best option was to send her a d*ckpic. That was just terrible to be honest and it just did not make any sense.

But the storywriting wasnt all that bad. There were some genuine nice/wholesome moments were i actually smiled/laughed and where you could see some good romance start to develop, which i am a big fan of.

But i can't ignore that some of the interactions really weirded me out, for now three start seems to be what it deserves in my opinion but with big improvements to the writing this game could definitely be a really succesful game.