I cant edit anything yet.
Just to be clear only the teaser images and the tiny pictures at the top of each slide maybe made with ai... the whole text is written by my sick brain without any AI
Grandy_UiD
Active Member
- May 16, 2019
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I played through the first two days. Up to the third. I have a suggestion.
So, right from the start of the third day, the other girls are calling Katja by her name without hesitation. But, in the last few days, they were taught to call her mom. So, I would have thought that there would be slight hesitation to call her directly.
So, I was thinking, when they're using the potty outside the bathroom, when Petra comes out, instead of this:
I'm ready, Katja ...
She should say something like I'm ready, Mo- Umm, Katja.
That's all that's needed to transition to where they call her by name, instead of Mommy. And, I think only one needs to mess up, and that could be Petra, just to show that the others have made that transition (obviously having maybe discussed it off screen together when they were witness to Katja's first spanking).
Anyway, that's my suggestion. I'm still reading through day-3, but I do like what's happened in the first two days.
Edit: yeah, I played until end of content. My thoughts? Umm, kind of fun to romp with, but I'm not sure if it sticks with just spanking and diapers. Fun, but a bit silly.
Anyway, some corrections. Oh, and there are spelling mistakes, but I didn't really note them down.
> You slide one diaper under Fiona's bottom first, then the other one under Petra's bottom. Katja follows Fiona's example again and briefly lifts her bottom off the bed so that you can slide the diaper underneath more easily. You pull the diapers tight and close the adhesive strips.
This mentions Petra's bottom, but it's actually Katja's bottom.
> Petra pulls Sabine's pajama pants down to her knees with a jerk and presses her hand against Sabine's diapered bottom.
This mentions Sabine, but it's Katja that has the diaper on.
Another point, maybe the girls don't know that the player is now their registered guardian, but I still think it should be announced at some point, so they all get to call him daddy. Right now, they're all calling him out by name, like normal.
Oh, but then in the phone messages, Petra says that she knows the player is her dad. So... why didn't they swap over to calling him dad already? Or, daddy, if you want.
Yeah, I'll leave it there. Kind of reminds me of The Stevensons universe, but all about kid-zoning women instead of straight up slave play. I find it odd that there hasn't been any mention of pubic hair in the prose. No mention if any shave, or have hair. Nothing of that. Anyway, I might look at this again, at some point. Oh! And you should try to put ai-generated pictures of the spanked bottoms. Like, description is OK, but the lack of art wasn't in your favor.
So, right from the start of the third day, the other girls are calling Katja by her name without hesitation. But, in the last few days, they were taught to call her mom. So, I would have thought that there would be slight hesitation to call her directly.
So, I was thinking, when they're using the potty outside the bathroom, when Petra comes out, instead of this:
I'm ready, Katja ...
She should say something like I'm ready, Mo- Umm, Katja.
That's all that's needed to transition to where they call her by name, instead of Mommy. And, I think only one needs to mess up, and that could be Petra, just to show that the others have made that transition (obviously having maybe discussed it off screen together when they were witness to Katja's first spanking).
Anyway, that's my suggestion. I'm still reading through day-3, but I do like what's happened in the first two days.
Edit: yeah, I played until end of content. My thoughts? Umm, kind of fun to romp with, but I'm not sure if it sticks with just spanking and diapers. Fun, but a bit silly.
Anyway, some corrections. Oh, and there are spelling mistakes, but I didn't really note them down.
> You slide one diaper under Fiona's bottom first, then the other one under Petra's bottom. Katja follows Fiona's example again and briefly lifts her bottom off the bed so that you can slide the diaper underneath more easily. You pull the diapers tight and close the adhesive strips.
This mentions Petra's bottom, but it's actually Katja's bottom.
> Petra pulls Sabine's pajama pants down to her knees with a jerk and presses her hand against Sabine's diapered bottom.
This mentions Sabine, but it's Katja that has the diaper on.
Another point, maybe the girls don't know that the player is now their registered guardian, but I still think it should be announced at some point, so they all get to call him daddy. Right now, they're all calling him out by name, like normal.
Oh, but then in the phone messages, Petra says that she knows the player is her dad. So... why didn't they swap over to calling him dad already? Or, daddy, if you want.
Yeah, I'll leave it there. Kind of reminds me of The Stevensons universe, but all about kid-zoning women instead of straight up slave play. I find it odd that there hasn't been any mention of pubic hair in the prose. No mention if any shave, or have hair. Nothing of that. Anyway, I might look at this again, at some point. Oh! And you should try to put ai-generated pictures of the spanked bottoms. Like, description is OK, but the lack of art wasn't in your favor.
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Thank you very much for your comprehensive feedback.
Regarding the girls addressing the MC:
You're right; the switch is too sudden. I'll incorporate your idea of a transition scene.
I've added the spelling mistake to the to-do list. Thank you. English is not my native language. Although DeepL translates quite well, there are sometimes problems with things like "who gets done something by who" and my school English is not always sufficient for corrections.
Variety of content:
Day 4 contains an erotic f/f scene. In the part I've finished, there is one, but there could be more. Day 3 hints at a future for relationship between Petra and the MC allready. However, I'm not yet sure whether I want to include hard sex. The author's personal preferences are not particularly focused on penetration....
So far, the topic of pubic hair is completely missing i am painfully aware of that. Day 4 provides some information on this topic, and I will add an explanation in the world-building section.
"Dad question"
The girls keep your "rise" "secret" for the rest of day 3, i did really think about that
The beginning of Day 4 provides a sweet resolution to this, hopefully.Images:
I would love to include images, but I hate it when they don't fit the scene, or when the same people look different in three out of five images. I also don't want to "write around an image." Unfortunately, I don't have the time, inclination, or knowledge to create images myself. The position of lead artist is available
Apply now ….Day 4 is getting fun i hope... just arrived au the dentist and i really had fun with the like 8 scenes up to that point....
My favorite part was when the MC took Fiona shopping. And, she got bratty. There was an option to spank her in the parking lot, or put it off, and maybe do it in the store. I liked that outing.Thank you very much for your comprehensive feedback.
Regarding the girls addressing the MC:
You're right; the switch is too sudden. I'll incorporate your idea of a transition scene.
I've added the spelling mistake to the to-do list. Thank you. English is not my native language. Although DeepL translates quite well, there are sometimes problems with things like "who gets done something by who" and my school English is not always sufficient for corrections.
Variety of content:
Day 4 contains an erotic f/f scene. In the part I've finished, there is one, but there could be more. Day 3 hints at a future for relationship between Petra and the MC allready. However, I'm not yet sure whether I want to include hard sex. The author's personal preferences are not particularly focused on penetration....
So far, the topic of pubic hair is completely missing i am painfully aware of that. Day 4 provides some information on this topic, and I will add an explanation in the world-building section.
"Dad question"
The girls keep your "rise" "secret" for the rest of day 3, i did really think about that
Images:
I would love to include images, but I hate it when they don't fit the scene, or when the same people look different in three out of five images. I also don't want to "write around an image." Unfortunately, I don't have the time, inclination, or knowledge to create images myself. The position of lead artist is available
Day 4 is getting fun i hope... just arrived au the dentist and i really had fun with the like 8 scenes up to that point....
And, I liked that other girl coming over to swim. I do like the inclusion of spanking, and I like the way the girls respond to it. It's very nice.
Another thing I missed was a picture for that new girl, Anja. Like, when you've got all four girls, you show four portraits. But, then that new girl comes over, and she doesn't have a pic. I thought that was odd. Maybe you could take the art you already have, give it to ai, and tell it to come up with other faces you can use for others in the story? I have played with ai a bit, and it can easily take a theme to create variations. I think it could mimic the artstyle too, if it can look at the art you already have. Have a think about it.
A nice game. I'll be back, for sure. Later.
But, what it lacks is the "VN" tag. I know there's little visual in the game, but it plays like a VN, with your choices being very limited.
So, unless you plan to make it a sandbox later, please do add the "VN" tag.
IMHO, this game would be nice as a sandbox. It could even be made into a management game, though it would need some goal for this to work.
But, what it lacks is the "VN" tag. I know there's little visual in the game, but it plays like a VN, with your choices being very limited.
So, unless you plan to make it a sandbox later, please do add the "VN" tag.
IMHO, this game would be nice as a sandbox. It could even be made into a management game, though it would need some goal for this to work.
Sandbox style was something i really tried to do but i dont like this "hunting for 1 new scene in 20 locations" style many of this games tend to have and it is really, really hard to tell an overarching story if you dont know when exactly the reader did read something - you can do that in twine (it is only plain twine2....) but that a lot of storylet flags. I played around with that and gave up at some point.
Management game ... man i would love to make an RPG game where you manage your spanking skills
You gain +1 Autority spank that princess now ....
Maybe i will experiment with this one day
✨ Big Update in Progress ✨
I’m currently reworking Days 1 and 2 — not by adding lots of new scenes, but by breathing much more life into the existing ones. Expect richer detail, sharper dialogue, and characters that feel more real.
While writing Day 3, a whole new idea was born: the story now unfolds in Princess Valley — a fictional world created just for the girls and their adventures. The earlier days are being carefully adjusted so everything fits seamlessly into this new setting.
And as I polish things up, I’m also fixing translation hiccups to make the reading experience smoother.
On top of that, brand-new content is coming: the first part of Day 4, written with the same level of detail and quality.
Stay tuned — the journey through Princess Valley is just beginning!
But it is mindblowing how much time it takes to write good text in a non native lanuage. So do not expect it next week
I’m currently reworking Days 1 and 2 — not by adding lots of new scenes, but by breathing much more life into the existing ones. Expect richer detail, sharper dialogue, and characters that feel more real.
While writing Day 3, a whole new idea was born: the story now unfolds in Princess Valley — a fictional world created just for the girls and their adventures. The earlier days are being carefully adjusted so everything fits seamlessly into this new setting.
And as I polish things up, I’m also fixing translation hiccups to make the reading experience smoother.
On top of that, brand-new content is coming: the first part of Day 4, written with the same level of detail and quality.
Stay tuned — the journey through Princess Valley is just beginning!
But it is mindblowing how much time it takes to write good text in a non native lanuage. So do not expect it next week
RELAUNCH: The Princess Valley Edition (0.4)
Welcome to Princess Valley
This is a fictional story for adults about adults.
Katja, the stern leader of this house of four young women (aged 18 to 23), has invited you—a man in his late twenties—as the new "Babysitter" for her girls.
You soon discover that she operates the house under her rigid code of conduct, enforced with surprisingly traditional discipline. She is now counting on you to help her enforce her strict routine. But you soon decide that her role as the house's disciplinarian would be better filled entirely by you.
In the eyes of the world, all women are adults. But within this small community, the clock runs on a different time, and most young women are still viewed as girls that need a lot of help to stay well behaved.
Expose a big lie at your new home! Find out about the laws, and strange, disturbing rituals of Princess Valley! In Princess Vally every misbehaving girl can end up with a glowing red bottom or in a diaper.
99 Chapters and around 60.000 words.
The whole update is live on itch.io now
Welcome to Princess Valley
This is a fictional story for adults about adults.
Katja, the stern leader of this house of four young women (aged 18 to 23), has invited you—a man in his late twenties—as the new "Babysitter" for her girls.
You soon discover that she operates the house under her rigid code of conduct, enforced with surprisingly traditional discipline. She is now counting on you to help her enforce her strict routine. But you soon decide that her role as the house's disciplinarian would be better filled entirely by you.
In the eyes of the world, all women are adults. But within this small community, the clock runs on a different time, and most young women are still viewed as girls that need a lot of help to stay well behaved.
Expose a big lie at your new home! Find out about the laws, and strange, disturbing rituals of Princess Valley! In Princess Vally every misbehaving girl can end up with a glowing red bottom or in a diaper.
99 Chapters and around 60.000 words.
The whole update is live on itch.io now
- Mar 2, 2019
- 23,556
- 321,222
- 998
Do I see that correctly? Does the HTML require internet connection AFTER it was downloaded to display the images?
Cause dis not allowed. It needs to be fully playable offline once its downloaded.
Well the images are not really needed in any way .. but yes they are online hosted. I will build a local Version in some kind of zip File structur in the next days to get rid of the online part and make it more future proof.
Does it not work fine now? It tried to keep the Fille size at a minimum.
Does it not work fine now? It tried to keep the Fille size at a minimum.
- Mar 2, 2019
- 23,556
- 321,222
- 998
No is against the forum rules, make a local version. If "Day3" has also online hosted images/vides then this thread should've been yeeted. I'll leave it up for now until ya made the local version.
This fix was kind off easy .... well so easy that im fed up i did all the trouble with external uploads - there is a new fixed version on itch.io now.
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- Mar 2, 2019
- 23,556
- 321,222
- 998
Lol.
Well online is probs fine for Itch. Though need to be careful with Porn on some Image hoster.
Hello
Game Review
This game seems promising at first glance... but once you start text, text, text, text, 1 image, text, text, text........
I'd say 1 image per 5 chapters.
So, to summarize:
- either you get hooked on the text, and it's a quick read.
- or you fall asleep because there are no images to bring this game to life (No, not a game, it's a book).
Game Review
This game seems promising at first glance... but once you start text, text, text, text, 1 image, text, text, text........
I'd say 1 image per 5 chapters.
So, to summarize:
- either you get hooked on the text, and it's a quick read.
- or you fall asleep because there are no images to bring this game to life (No, not a game, it's a book).
Thank you very much for pointing out that i could create false expectations. I do not want to waste anyones time.
I have added a warning that there is considerably more text than images.
Since I have no intention of making any profit and do not need to “win” players/readers for any kind of support (there is no Pateron or anything like that), this is unlikely to change. Unless someone happens to contact me who would like to supply pictures—which I consider highly unlikely.
Given the amount of text, it should actually take a few hours to read