HTML The Queen of Phalli [Ch.7.6 IE] [Nobody Cares]

[Nobody Cares]

Any plans for pregnancy in the future?

Ah yes, pregnancy is a huge fetish of mine but there are huge problems with it plot wise. Where do all the babies go? Why is MC not taking care off them? All children deserve a parent, not all parents deserve a child. Maybe for the ending and/or secondary characters.

 

[Nobody Cares]

Futa and Drow? Fuck yeah...

As others have said, make the game that you want to make (nothing else matters). Once this thread grows in size you will start seeing people post stuff like "wtf is futa? yuck!" or "what a waste, no thanks", ignore those people, they are posting that stuff just to rile you up (do not give them the time of day)...

Totally looking forward to that.

 

[Nobody Cares]

Regarding the readability issue mentioned above. I understand that white text on the black background is very fitting for the story and setting, but it's pretty uncomfortable for reading as it puts a lot of strain on the eye. Have you tried playing around with dark grey instead of black? (something like this website's dark mode for example)

Aye, plenty of people mention that. I will make sure to release chapter 2 in a more readable format. Any pointer on the matter is greatly appriciated

 

[Necrosian]

Maybe for the ending and/or secondary characters.

That's fine by me. Maybe impregnation only in the story and the rest for epilogue or something? Also as a Crusader Kings III player bloodline must be kept pure! If you catch my meaning ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[LonelyMusha]

Oh my, where did I write "your adventure"? It might have somehow escaped my corrections. Would you be so kind to message me where you found it?

The Queen of Phalli is a Choose Your Own Adventure

Right there, I guess it's a cross line somewhere between where the book ends and "game" starts? Judging by the choices given to the player at Ch.1

 

[IvoryOwl]

Aye, plenty of people mention that. I will make sure to release chapter 2 in a more readable format. Any pointer on the matter is greatly appriciated

I suggest separating your paragraphs as well. Makes it easier to read as compared to having a continuous wall of text from top to bottom. Another thing to consider; a save feature at some point, maybe when there's more content (and paths) to justify it. These HTML games usually have a side-bar with a bunch of functionalities (New game, save/load, options, etc) and I was a bit lost when I couldn't find it.

 

[Nobody Cares]

Right there, I guess it's a cross line somewhere between where the book ends and "game" starts? Judging by the choices give to the player at Ch.1

Ah that! Yes, I think/thought that is the conventional name of this format in the English language. In Italian we just call them "libri game", a bit of a lost in translation

 

[Nobody Cares]

I suggest separating your paragraphs as well. Makes it easier to read as compared to having a continuous wall of text from top to bottom. Also, i suggest implementing a save feature at some point, maybe when there's more content (and paths) to justify it. These HTML games usually have a side-bar with a bunch of functionalities (New game, save/load, options, etc) and I was a bit lost when I couldn't find it.

Yep, both are widely requested features and both will be implemented when I'll release chapter 2. What do you think is the sweet spot for the size of a single paragraph? Thanks, mate!

 

[IvoryOwl]

Yep, both are widely requested features and both will be implemented when I'll release chapter 2. What do you think is the sweet spot for the size of a single paragraph? Thanks, mate!

Most of the line changes you have there are good enough, just need to add a space between them and the next paragraph. A good rule of thumb is to limit paragraphs to 6-8 lines of text. Smaller are fine but having a bazillion paragraphs that are just 2 lines each can get annoying too. The sweet spot for me tends to be 4-6, but you can go for 8 if the continuity makes sense. In other words, your mileage may vary. (For the record, this is on PC. Phone users may have a different preference).

Here's an example:

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[Nobody Cares]

Most of the line changes you have there are good enough, just need to add a space between them and the next paragraph. A good rule of thumb is to limit paragraphs to 6-8 lines of text. Smaller are fine but having a bazillion paragraphs that are just 2 lines each can get annoying too. The sweet spot for me tends to be 4-6, but you can go for 8 if the continuity makes sense. In other words, your mileage may vary. (For the record, this is on PC. Phone users may have a different preference).

Here's an example:

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Excellent, thanks.
How about the number of lines per passage?

 

[IvoryOwl]

Excellent, thanks.
How about the number of lines per passage?

Errr... I assume a passage is basically a section of text (could be one paragraph or more) dedicated to a particular topic or subject, correct? (Sorry, I'm not a native english speaker so I had to google it. I know some terms when it comes to writing but others elude me.) From what I've gathered, there are short passages and long ones. The former can be as simple as a single sentence whereas the latter can be as long as 4-9 paragraphs.*

The story and events happening in your demo felt neither dragged nor confusing, so I think you're fine on that front.

*

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[Nobody Cares]

Errr... I assume a passage is basically a section of text (could be one paragraph or more) dedicated to a particular topic or subject, correct? (Sorry, I'm not a native english speaker so I had to google it. I know some terms when it comes to writing but others elude me.) From what I've gathered, there are short passages and long ones. The former can be as simple as a single sentence whereas the latter can be as long as 4-9 paragraphs.*

The story and events happening in your demo felt neither dragged nor confusing, so I think you're fine on that front.

*

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Neither am I. I myself get confused sometimes. In this specific case by "passage" I meant the equivalent of a page. I'm trying to determine the ideal amount of text between one click and the other.

 

[IvoryOwl]

Neither am I. I myself get confused sometimes. In this specific case by "passage" I meant the equivalent of a page. I'm trying to determine the ideal amount of text between one click and the other.

Hmm... I thought the pages were a bit long but that may have been just because of the way the text was formatted. Walls of text always look worse than what they actually are, however, while these changes will make reading easier, it will also increase the page length.

I don't know. A split may (or may not) be necessary but it's hard to know beforehand without seeing how it looks post-change.

 

[EpicReee]

Drow? Futa? Lolth? Added to the watchlist!

 

[Laughingfox]

Hrm. Regarding pregnancy, you *are* rocking a D&D themed world and such. You could always have your plucky heroine to be become friends with benefits with a overfriendly djinn or something (how? heck if I know. maybe they were gangbanged side by side and hit things off, or she released the genie from a geass so now it's a favor for sensual favors), and thus have access to a pocket dimension day care along with an amply endowed wet nurse.

But as amusing as that idea is, it could just end up disrupting the flow of your narrative. *shrugs*. Pretty sure the story shall be a fun romp regardless of how you tackle it.

 

[Nobody Cares]

Hrm. Regarding pregnancy, you *are* rocking a D&D themed world and such. You could always have your plucky heroine to be become friends with benefits with a overfriendly djinn or something (how? heck if I know. maybe they were gangbanged side by side and hit things off, or she released the genie from a geass so now it's a favor for sensual favors), and thus have access to a pocket dimension day care along with an amply endowed wet nurse.

But as amusing as that idea is, it could just end up disrupting the flow of your narrative. *shrugs*. Pretty sure the story shall be a fun romp regardless of how you tackle it.

We'll see if the DM allows that. Seriusly though, pregnancy will most likely be present, also keep in mind that elven kin pregnancy lasts ten years.

 

[Laughingfox]

Riiiiiight, that makes sense. Those like her handmaiden may show, but in that case for the elves it seems super unlikely. Unless you are doing some time skip or wish nonsense.

Gotta say, I enjoyed the writing regarding the exchanges for our protagonist and her family members thus far. They weren't merely comically evil and even had shades of genuine affection and banter sprinkled throughout. Fun stuff.

Even when the protagonist would 'submit' to gain proper escort she cleverly vied some (sticky) degree of control in a playful exchange.

Truly, a heart warming story of a royal drow in the depths of the dark below, and the potential multitude of wangs that loved her. D'aww.

 

[Luke Lionheart]

Promising. . .

 

[heckinT]

I'm not usually one for futa anything, but the other tags/planned tags are intriguing enough to hold my attention. Watching for now.

 

[Nobody Cares]

For chapter 2 I was suggested to move the story to sugarcube, it's a little less userfriendly but also more practical for what I have in mind. The save/load function is present by default and I also tried to improve the readability. See below:



What do you think?