VN Ren'Py The Silver Lining [v0.8a] [Namuswill]

[Namuswill]

That's great to hear and I think given the level dialog and art I never assumed so. Though, what kind of deprevation are you into or will put into this game? Will there be more extreme scenarios such as blackmail, rape, face fucking, anal, etc? I think all of these things can be within the flavor of the story, since these things aren't modern inventions and do occur to vulnerable girls in her situation.

You do not need a proofreader. In any text editor you used to write the game, such as VSCode, there are SpellCheck plugins for free that will do a better job than any persons.

Blackmail, coercion sure, but more direct non-con I'm still not sure about. I am open to it, but idk how patreon will handle that and if i'm gonna do it, i'd want it to be an important story arc for MC since it's a pretty sensetive topic and a pretty huge trauma for MC to deal with, there's also a lot more stigma about it in this time period, also having to integrate that to account for other routes ... It's possible, but it's a lot of work and it's definitly not happening in the next few updates. As for stuff like rough sex, anal etc. yeah those will be included.

All avoidable too ofc.

Plugins can totally do that, but it'd also be nice to have an editor who could give feedback on writing in general and suggest some way to for example show that character has a certain accent or suggest ways to creativly use period relavant slang which i'd really like to incorporate more into vocabulary of some characters.

And, I think the setting is pretty intriguing. It might become my favorite story, if it plays with the elements of the era.

Suggestions you gave are really interesting, the language ones is something i might look into for the next update even. If you have any more period relavant elements you think i could play with i'd be glad to hear about it.

 

[Krull]

Oh my ... I LOVE IT. Thank you!

With pleasure, best of luck with the game.

 

[masure]

I wish there's some incest in this.

 

[Grandy_UiD]

Art looks super interesting, I'll give it a couple more updates before I check it out though.

 

[Soggy Bread]

Any planned hardcore tags?

(Like rape, humiliation, multiple penetration, bestiality, bdsm etc)

 

[MF_DOOM]

I'll say it again, I dig the art style a lot.
You got some typos in the game, most of them seems to be because you typed quickly(something like andf instead of and), its nothing major but still.

Also, the mom reminds me a lot of my own mom who is also Ukrainian...Oh lord.

 

[1879]

Wow, a nice start. I like the style too. I hope things are going well . Much luck .

 

[Ali ibn Hassan]

Nice different

 

[XJ347]

Any planned hardcore tags?

(Like rape, humiliation, multiple penetration, bestiality, bdsm etc)

If you want to use Patreon then Bestiality is instant death. Not only that, Bestiality REALLY shrinks the audience...

In a way, corruption is on the spectrum of rape. The character is forced into sexual situations she wouldn't normally want but is forced to due to circumstances, and then gets used to it over time. Saying that, the harder the circumstances the more likely people will complain to Patreon. Holding a gun to someones head is more likely to offend than blackmail, though in the end it's really the same thing. Personally I think harder rape used VERY sparingly can be good for a story like this, but for others it will be INSTANTLY turned off and leave. The level used will have to be a risk assessment for Namuswill and will test their writing skills.

The other thing that Patreon is sensitive about is underage sex. If the game says they are 18 then it's fine, as long as the images aren't blatantly loli. This games MC is said to be 18, she clearly isn't loli and it will not be a problem.

 

[vooloo]

unique art style and setting. on my watchlist for sure

 

[bamachine]

• One thing that needs to happen is fixing spelling errors. Make i into I. It's really small error but it's so common that it's distracting. There are other spelling mistakes too but that is the most common one. You should find someone to proofread the spelling for you. I wouldn't be surprised if someone on this site would do it for you if you asked. Many people here like to help when they can.

Fixed the spelling, the capitalizing of "i" and its other forms like "i'm, i'd, i'll", also a couple of contextual errors. Attached below is edited script file. For those that don't know what to do with it, unzip it into the "game" subfolder, overwrite when prompted.

EDIT: Now playing through the edited version, I see I still missed a few typos. Oh well, the edited version is better, just not perfect.

 

[tg]

Yeah, I played until the end. I do like the range of choices the story has. And, I do like the characters that have been introduced. The boss. The artist. The young tough guy.

It's early days for the story, but I think there's a lot to play with.

You were asking about 1940s slang? It might be good to look at sites like this:

You must be registered to see the links

I don't think you have to dive that deeply into it though. I think the art presents the era well, and mostly people will go with the feel of it. I look forward to seeing where it all goes.

I did like that reference of Franks, something about liking girls with reddened cheeks. Hopefully, that does allude to some spanking scenes. I could see that playing out in the office.

Anyway, good start, and I wish you well with it. Nice art. Nice feeling. And, I love the characters.

 

[judgenot93]

Edit: Started playing it. I think you could play with the language difference this game. In the first scene, when they're on the boat, the father could come, and the first words from her mouth could be foreign. And, he could reprimand her, insisting that she speak in English. And then she does, and the people that play the game can understand her.

But, you could play with it too, along the way. Say, her English isn't perfect, and this and that person asks her to repeat what she's saying. There could be callbacks to how rough her English is throughout, until she starts to adopt a more central Brooklyn accent or whatever. Just thinking out loud.

you are aware the dev isn't a native english speaker, right? as someone who isn't either: that's a huge ask, bordering on impossible.

Up until then, maybe she's just going natural, as most women back then would.

100% expecting that. it would be a weird thing to break the 30s/40s vibe for.

 

[fortuna95]

I wish there's some incest in this.

It's coming soon I hope.

 

[tg]

you are aware the dev isn't a native english speaker, right? as someone who isn't either: that's a huge ask, bordering on impossible.

Umm, mostly I suggested it as a flavor-type thing the author could try at the start, or maybe hint at it throughout. It wouldn't be hard at all. Her father approaches her on the boat, and she absently responds with her native language. For most English speakers, they wouldn't recognize it, but the dad comes to the rescue to /tell her to speak English/. And so she does.

It hints that English is still foreign to her, as it should be. Sure, her mom could have been an English teacher, and maybe she's had an intensive course of English on the trip over. That's all good, but within her own mind, she would still be using her native language. It would take years and years for her to lose that.

And, that's what I'm saying. When she gets surprised, she comes out with this and that that isn't English. And, she has to repeat what she's said, because those that she's talking to expect her to talk in English. As I say, it's not hard.

But, then again, it's not all that important either. It's just something I thought would be good, to introduce the idea that she and her family come from a non-english based country.

A huge ask? Hardly.

 

[Orphanus]

Blackmail, coercion sure, but more direct non-con I'm still not sure about. I am open to it, but idk how patreon will handle that and if i'm gonna do it, i'd want it to be an important story arc for MC since it's a pretty sensetive topic and a pretty huge trauma for MC to deal with, there's also a lot more stigma about it in this time period, also having to integrate that to account for other routes ... It's possible, but it's a lot of work and it's definitly not happening in the next few updates. As for stuff like rough sex, anal etc. yeah those will be included.

All avoidable too ofc.

If I may say so: Don't do it, Patreon is arbitrary at the best of times & really, really doesn't like non-con stuff, heck, developers have been banned there for hypnosis related sex stuff without any form of violence involved, pretty sure some of it even was on a consensual basis. Unless you have an alternative to Patreon or aren't relying on making some money with this game be very careful what type of darker stuff you add to this game.

Edit: The way it's usually done, as far as I know, is by separating the content in question into a patch (but I feel like that's usually more for slight changes to wording and similarly minor edits) that people can download elsewhere so Patreon doesn't come down on the game.

 

[MF_DOOM]

There is no way in hell her mother would be an English teacher in the Soviet Union and live in a place with no running water(like was mentioned in the game). I would assume they lived in one of hose tiny villages like my grandparents from my mother's side where English definitely was not part of the education program.
If I remember correctly Soviet(and later on, Ukrainian) schools rarely taught English at all, it was mostly German. From my experience at least but I was in the 1st grade only in Ukraine and it was 93.

 

[judgenot93]

Her father approaches her on the boat, and she absently responds with her native language. For most English speakers, they wouldn't recognize it, but the dad comes to the rescue to /tell her to speak English/. And so she does.

A huge ask? Hardly.

fair enough. i was referring more to the second part, didn't chose my quote well. transitioning to fluency and then a "central brooklyn accent".
i mean, it's a good idea, but i certainly wouldn't be able to do that (imitate a foreign language dialect in a way that sounds natural). if dev wants to try and manages to pull it off, i'd be extremely impressed - IF i'd notice it, because i have no idea what makes a central brooklyn accent.

 

[seaoflove]

The Dev forgot the obligatory "Are you 18?" at the start. They should probably put that in there next update.

I like the game. It has a interesting setting 1940s gangster stuff. Immigrant family... Good story, nice visual art and some good choice menus. I really like the clothing choices, and setting and story a whole bunch.

My biggest problem with the game is that it has a lack of content. It tricked me by saying it is a 0.2a version of the game, but It feels like just a prologue. I got through it in about 10 or 15 minutes.

I don't think developers should ever release any game that has under 30 minutes of play time. Because it feels like just a proof of concept. You want the player to sit there for like an hour and get hooked... Not play for 10 minutes and toss it in the trash.

 

[vessna]

Although not explicitly stated in the game, i kinda made them to be of Polish-Ukrainian coming from western-most parts of Ukraine. Initially i thought them being from Sicily, but since i am from Ukraine myself i just went for what i knew cause ... i wouldn't have to do much research for that lol.

Good thing nobody has yet asked how they know English so well ... I will pre-emptivly state that Mila's mom was an English teacher

ow, Western Parts of Polish-Ukrainian territories? So Lviv? or Lwów. . . hm interesting. . . well keep up the good work ya do here, this game will be a masterpiece, i think it will be one of top ranked that type of games on my list.