The second Raze scene was very nice. It's a good sign of things to come, I'm hoping we can get more of that same energy in the future. And I also ended up liking Bea a lot, even if she's just one of the side characters.
Anyway, figured I should point out some things I noticed:
Replays are currently borked in the gallery. Probably known about, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention it.
Speaking of the gallery, Raze's second scene doesn't want you to rewatch it at all, it seems, as selecting it just opens the same menu back up again.
Potential suggestion: maybe make a separate category for the fanart in the imageboard menu? It not showing up with everything else only to pop up upon exiting the menu is a bit clunky. Could potentially call it other servers/other games and then just stick it to the top of the list?
There's a typo in the bathhouse scene; it has "Luna
it standing in front of me..." instead of "Luna
is...". Minor, but I figured I should point it out otherwise it'd probably just slip through the cracks.
Speaking of, there was something like that in Dancer Girlfriend as well. In the Gustav bad ending, it has "None of them
is paying attention to you." instead of "None of them
are..."
And, to be even more pedantic about things, some of the stuff from the post-Tournament casino scene in Dancer Girlfriend is phrased a bit awkwardly. I'll try to put what I noticed alongside potential fixes here:
But yeah, Luna's game is shaping up to be another banger, and we haven't even gotten to the actual combat yet. It'll be very interesting to see where we go from here.
Actually, lemme speculate/theorycraft a potential Luna scene. Just for fun, this isn't me trying to go "Oh, this absolutely needs to happen!" or anything, no pressure or offense meant.
If the game is some sort of VR setup*, maybe have Anon go out to get some water or snacks or something from the kitchen, only to stumble upon Luna getting fucked silly in the game, displayed on the TV, while her actual self lays unconscious on the couch, oblivious to the fact that Anon is watching her get her brains fucked out in 4k.
Or if it's not VR, Anon is going to the kitchen for whatever reason, and Luna doesn't notice him because she's too busy schlicking herself to her in-game avatar getting fucked, so Anon gets a front row seat to Luna ERP-ing with someone else.
Eh, I dunno, just feels like Luna being set up in the living room and playing on the TV is ripe with potential for designing the IRL scenes. Hopefully we'll be able to see something that makes use of that fact.
*Sidenote, maybe clarify whether this is a VR game or not? Just a throwaway line near the beginning would probably sort it, and it being VR would explain why Luna can get fucked in the game. Unless there's already something that does so and I just missed it, lol.