VN Ren'Py This Won´t End like This [Beta] [Kick11]

7767

7767

EAT
Uploader
Aug 5, 2016
1,053
126,140
1744487294892.png

Overview:
In a city ruled by crime and corruption, a young woman struggles day after day to survive alongside her younger brother and father. Her routine changes completely when, on her way to school, she crosses paths with Jack, the son of the city's most powerful drug dealer. She accidentally overhears a conversation she should never have heard, becoming the target of a dangerous game.
What Jack didn't expect was that she knew how to defend herself... and that she was able to easily defeat her attacker. From that moment on, their lives become intertwined in a story full of action, tension, and desire, where every decision can mean the difference between survival and collapse. While she tries to support her family with low-paying jobs and a precarious life, she finds herself drawn into a dark world where the rules are dictated by the strongest.
But just when everything seems under control, fate has a test in store for her that will test her strength, her loyalty... and her very life.
How far will she be willing to go?​

Thread Updated: 2025-04-12
Release Date: 2025-04-11
Developer: Kick11
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Censored: No
Version: Beta
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Developer Notes:
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1744487314756.png 1744487319947.png 1744487324628.png 1744487329045.png ​
 
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Lio24

Lio24

Formerly 'Kick11'
Game Developer
May 9, 2022
7
37
Thanks for the support, this is going to be a nice trip.
 
T

torpedogoat

Newbie
May 24, 2024
49
108
For now it's too short for a fair review, but I like it. Some quick feedback:

- The language needs some work. It's clear that the author is a native speaker of a non-European language, as they have trouble with the genders of pronouns. Referring to a towel as "he" is wrong but not a major problem, but alternating between using "he" and "she" when referring to a girl is very confusing. Even worse when she is in a fight with a boy and the boy is once referred to as "her". English uses gender for disambiguation, so this kind of mistake is a major source of confusion. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Often I had trouble guessing what a sentence was supposed to mean, and it wasn't always as obvious as when the word "relationship" was used instead of "reaction".
- I really like the graphics. And I like the fact that they are so incredibly lean. It's a really tiny download.
- The story is still short, but it's very promising. I really want to know how it continues.
 
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Lio24

Lio24

Formerly 'Kick11'
Game Developer
May 9, 2022
7
37
torpedogoat said:
For now it's too short for a fair review, but I like it. Some quick feedback:

- The language needs some work. It's clear that the author is a native speaker of a non-European language, as they have trouble with the genders of pronouns. Referring to a towel as "he" is wrong but not a major problem, but alternating between using "he" and "she" when referring to a girl is very confusing. Even worse when she is in a fight with a boy and the boy is once referred to as "her". English uses gender for disambiguation, so this kind of mistake is a major source of confusion. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Often I had trouble guessing what a sentence was supposed to mean, and it wasn't always as obvious as when the word "relationship" was used instead of "reaction".
- I really like the graphics. And I like the fact that they are so incredibly lean. It's a really tiny download.
- The story is still short, but it's very promising. I really want to know how it continues.
Click to expand...
Well, I understand that I have to be very careful with my writing, and I will. I still struggle with English, but that's no excuse. I always welcome constructive criticism.
 
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L7Bear

L7Bear

Well-Known Member
May 29, 2017
1,108
1,794
Fantastic start!

Lots of minor problems (mostly misgendered pronouns, some punctuation) in the dialogue, but still interesting to read/play.
The grey-on-grey menu isn't easy to see, and "return" doesn't always work in some sub-menus.
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Definitely looking forward to more!
 
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