VN Ren'Py Thoughts on my game: The Electra Complex

[Nuerotes]

!!! Content warning: This game is full of lolis* !!!

*Depending on your age choice




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Hi all. I've built this new game and wonder if anyone is interested in giving some feedback?

I'm new to this and have only showed it to a few people so far. The content isn't for everyone, but if you are interested it would be great to hear some constructive thoughts.

Cheers.

Idea:
You and your sister are dragged along to a tour of an underground superbunker by your mom and youngest sister.
Inevitably, during the tour the apocalypse happens and you're now trapped with your sister's school group and their parents and tutors.

Content so far:
Incest
Loli - You can choose the age of the youngest sister. Most female characters are relative to this age (e.g. your other sister will be 3 years older than the age you choose)
Exhibitionism
Oral sex
Anal sex

Content that won't appear:
Rape (though coercion is planned)
NTR - By this I mean that you will not have a love interest be wooed away from you and have your face rubbed in it. Once you set your sights on a girl, she's yours to win and other males are there to add intrigue and drama to the story. However, I haven't planned out every little detail. So, there is a married couple, though they are estranged. And if you decide not to pursue a girl, then she's no longer considered a love interest.

Other stuff:
I'm doing this as a part-time hobby, so don't expect amazing content or quick updates.

PC:

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Mac:

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[Nuerotes]

Please tell me that there won't be any ntr in this game

Also please upload it on mega if you can

Sorry, no Mega, but I've added more links.

There's no NTR, in the definitive meaning of the term, and no cheating.
There is a married couple and others are lusting after the girls, but once you set your sights on someone, she's yours to win (never lose or share, unless you want to share).

 

[Nuerotes]

Ok finally played your game so here's some feedback

you said that there will be no ntr in the game and that's cool but you should know that people that dislike ntr (and i am one of them) don't like to see other male interact with the girls the way the father did that's borderline ntr
But aside from that your game is good just hope you won't go further with the father or the other male characters

Thanks for the feedback.

Obviously NTR is a touchy subject on this forum, but it's not in this game.
However I can't account for all the many ways the term is misused (or used in many different ways), so yes, male NPCs will lust after the females, because otherwise why have any other guys in any game ever?

 

[Hentai_Kishi]

I played the game.

I think it's a neat idea and something about the flat colors interest me, different than the normally bright colors you see on games here.

The impression I have is that the game has that minor comedy atmosphere, it's not bad but if this wasn't your intention then maybe you should reconsider some dialogue and situations, I can't say this with absolute certainty though since this is a very early build of the game. I'm curious to see why someone would make such dares and why others would follow them.

I don't really know if you plan on focusing the story completely from the point where the MC is already "close" with his mother onwards but you could offer players more story about the past of the family in general if you wanted, I personally think it would slowly set the pace for increasingly more erotic events.

A minor annoyance is the fact that between some dialogues and choices the next dialogue may play a "blank" and you have to click two times to progress, it cuts off the dialogue while not even changing the image or animation (I know sometimes games make you click again to show very small changes in the characters or scenery), not a major thing but it's still worth taking a look at.

Overall I would very much enjoy playing the full version of this someday, provided everything is developed nicely.

Sorry, no Mega, but I've added more links.

There's no NTR, in the definitive meaning of the term, and no cheating.
There is a married couple and others are lusting after the girls, but once you set your sights on someone, she's yours to win (never lose or share, unless you want to share).

Thanks for the feedback.

Obviously NTR is a touchy subject on this forum, but it's not in this game.
However I can't account for all the many ways the term is misused (or used in many different ways), so yes, male NPCs will lust after the females, because otherwise why have any other guys in any game ever?

You should be straightforward if you plan on adding sharing or swinging content so people won't play the card of "Oh my god this damned developer tricked me into playing a sharing game!". Just to be on the safe side and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.

A suggestion, don't get too bothered by what anti-ntr crusaders think or want, as you said yourself you can't account for all the ways the term (NTR) is misused, these crusaders seem to think that just because there is more than one female in the game it automatically means it's a harem and every other man shouldn't be able to touch or even look at females even if they aren't with the MC. Make the game you think it would be fun to make and the game people like you would enjoy to play otherwise you will just end up unsatisfied with your project even if more people may end up wanting to play it.

 

[lkta]

I like it. Looks good & written in English that actually flows rather than robots talking to each other. Has the potential to be something interesting. There doesn't seem to be a default age set for your little sister so if you click enter at the state age bit it gives an error but other than that i din't notice any other issues. One possible extra for the opening blurb would be a mention of how many people are actually locked in with you. Is it just the 15 or so people pictured in the background, is it a class of 30 people all with parents & odd extra family member, are there 50 staff there, or hundreds of other people?

I see instantly that the first comments are people crying because there is another male in the game. As with just about every thread on this site it will be exactly the same people whining constantly about another male existing in a game and that not every female in the game including their own mother is a pure innocent virgin that only wants their giant horsecock in a press space for instant harem borefest.

Stick to what you want to make and enjoy it rather than changing everything to suit a very vocal group of people.

 

[Nuerotes]

I played the game.

I think it's a neat idea and something about the flat colors interest me, different than the normally bright colors you see on games here.

The impression I have is that the game has that minor comedy atmosphere, it's not bad but if this wasn't your intention then maybe you should reconsider some dialogue and situations, I can't say this with absolute certainty though since this is a very early build of the game. I'm curious to see why someone would make such dares and why others would follow them.

I don't really know if you plan on focusing the story completely from the point where the MC is already "close" with his mother onwards but you could offer players more story about the past of the family in general if you wanted, I personally think it would slowly set the pace for increasingly more erotic events.

A minor annoyance is the fact that between some dialogues and choices the next dialogue may play a "blank" and you have to click two times to progress, it cuts off the dialogue while not even changing the image or animation (I know sometimes games make you click again to show very small changes in the characters or scenery), not a major thing but it's still worth taking a look at.

Overall I would very much enjoy playing the full version of this someday, provided everything is developed nicely.





You should be straightforward if you plan on adding sharing or swinging content so people won't play the card of "Oh my god this damned developer tricked me into playing a sharing game!". Just to be on the safe side and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.

A suggestion, don't get too bothered by what anti-ntr crusaders think or want, as you said yourself you can't account for all the ways the term (NTR) is misused, these crusaders seem to think that just because there is more than one female in the game it automatically means it's a harem and every other man shouldn't be able to touch or even look at females even if they aren't with the MC. Make the game you think it would be fun to make and the game people like you would enjoy to play otherwise you will just end up unsatisfied with your project even if more people may end up wanting to play it.

Thanks for the in-depth feedback.

There is meant to be humor, so although there will be drama etc, the tone is more light-hearted for the most part.

The dares will be quickly explained (as part of how the complex has split during their time underground). As for the Mom, the focus for her is that we find out what her story is and why she was so quick to seduce her son. Any relationship build-up will be focused on the other characters.

I'll take a look at the pauses. They were meant to help the dialogue timing and impact, even if you were just clicking through.

As for NTR, I agree. I don't have any intention to introduce it, but that's a difficult one when even the most vocal can't agree on its meaning.

 

[Nuerotes]

I like it. Looks good & written in English that actually flows rather than robots talking to each other. Has the potential to be something interesting. There doesn't seem to be a default age set for your little sister so if you click enter at the state age bit it gives an error but other than that i din't notice any other issues. One possible extra for the opening blurb would be a mention of how many people are actually locked in with you. Is it just the 15 or so people pictured in the background, is it a class of 30 people all with parents & odd extra family member, are there 50 staff there, or hundreds of other people?

I see instantly that the first comments are people crying because there is another male in the game. As with just about every thread on this site it will be exactly the same people whining constantly about another male existing in a game and that not every female in the game including their own mother is a pure innocent virgin that only wants their giant horsecock in a press space for instant harem borefest.

Stick to what you want to make and enjoy it rather than changing everything to suit a very vocal group of people.

Thanks for the feedback and I'll take a look at that bug.

In the next part, you're briefly introduced to most of the characters, and it is the number seen in the background.
I didn't want to frontload the first part with all of the character introductions and instead spread them out a bit. But if this doesn't work, I'll rethink it.

I'm also going to edit the OP to explain a bit more on the 'no NTR, but the girls aren't blankly waiting for your dick.' thing.

 

[lkta]

Thanks for the feedback and I'll take a look at that bug.

In the next part, you're briefly introduced to most of the characters, and it is the number seen in the background.
I didn't want to frontload the first part with all of the character introductions and instead spread them out a bit. But if this doesn't work, I'll rethink it.

Cool, look forward to seeing what comes next. Didn't necessarily mean it needed a big intro or anything, could even be inserted at the start of the initial BJ scene or something.

"who knows when that will happen so we're all trapped here, trying to make the best of it" could easily become something like
"who knows when that will happen so that's life now, 16 people all trapped here, trying to make the best of it" or something along those lines. Not really a huge thing either way i guess.

Might also be worth seeing if you can get it on here properly as you will get more people looking/giving feedback rather than just in this general discussion bit.

 

[tigerdiamond]

Are you actually working on the game again? This is like the third time this game has popped back up after disappearing, and as far as I can tell there's no new content since at least the oct 2020 version. Don't get me wrong, I only sound harsh because I keep getting really excited for this game, then no updates happen, then the websites get scrubbed, then it disappears for a few months, then it gets posted on a different site. I can only go through so much heartbreak.

 

[Nuerotes]

Are you actually working on the game again? This is like the third time this game has popped back up after disappearing, and as far as I can tell there's no new content since at least the oct 2020 version. Don't get me wrong, I only sound harsh because I keep getting really excited for this game, then no updates happen, then the websites get scrubbed, then it disappears for a few months, then it gets posted on a different site. I can only go through so much heartbreak.

Hi. Not sure why, but I wasn't alerted to your post, sorry for the late reply.

And also sorry for the heartbreak. I feel bad that I'm about to stomp it underfoot now...
I've stopped working on the game for now.
I wanted to build enough to see if it worked as a concept and as an interesting game. I put it on a few forums, changing some little things on feedback, but it just never seemed to interest people.

It's my first attempt, so I'm going to stop working on this and see if there's another story I can use instead. I might return to this, but I don't much time or skills.

Sorry it isn't better news.

 

[tigerdiamond]

Hi. Not sure why, but I wasn't alerted to your post, sorry for the late reply.

And also sorry for the heartbreak. I feel bad that I'm about to stomp it underfoot now...
I've stopped working on the game for now.
I wanted to build enough to see if it worked as a concept and as an interesting game. I put it on a few forums, changing some little things on feedback, but it just never seemed to interest people.

It's my first attempt, so I'm going to stop working on this and see if there's another story I can use instead. I might return to this, but I don't much time or skills.

Sorry it isn't better news.

I'm gonna give you a really big piece of advice. Stop shooting yourself in the foot. Cause I've played at least 3 of the "versions" of this that have popped up over the last 2 years, and honestly I didn't notice a single change from the first time I played. Maybe it some some small things like grammar/spelling clean up, or behind the scene code stuff, but as far as actual script & images, the game has ended on the exact same spot for 2 years.

Now, I want to say sorry that I'm being a little harsh here, but I see far too many promising devs disappear due to attitudes like this. You think "it never seemed to interest people", the reason for that is that every time the game popped up on a website you & the sites linked to you would vanish after a few weeks/months, only for you/the game to pop up somewhere else. (Every one of those threads had a good number of people talking about it for a first release, but you never made the next part.

Too many devs get caught up in "This isn't popular enough so I'm going to drop this game" which, especially if you aren't asking for subs seems idk man. Like, just make a thing you enjoy and the people that will like it will find it eventually; look at among us it took them 2 years post release to get popular. If you actually rely on the sub income as a dev then there is more pressure to be "popular enough" but you really can't force it.

To this day, what little of this game there is was one of my favorites in the "petite" genre. If you had been consistently updating (Not necessarily every month, just pick a timeframe and stick relatively to it) over this last 3 years instead of jumping around websites I think you'd be as popular as the guardian or even mou-sama by now.

Like there's a thread on another site where you first post about the project in 2018, you answer a few questions, post a few previews, then nothing for 2 years and someone else posts that you actually did make a playable version and it's over on baraag; you never let the forum know.

Again, I'm sorry for sounding harsh, but this game had what it took to go places, you just never took it there.

 

[Adaptis]

Hi. Not sure why, but I wasn't alerted to your post, sorry for the late reply.

And also sorry for the heartbreak. I feel bad that I'm about to stomp it underfoot now...
I've stopped working on the game for now.
I wanted to build enough to see if it worked as a concept and as an interesting game. I put it on a few forums, changing some little things on feedback, but it just never seemed to interest people.

It's my first attempt, so I'm going to stop working on this and see if there's another story I can use instead. I might return to this, but I don't much time or skills.

Sorry it isn't better news.

Damn, Its too bad you lost interest in this story, I just came across it yesterday and it got my attention, played it and it was a fun start. I enjoyed the incest right off the bat, no beating around the bush, the characters were nice, the story has potential... I mean not many do the whole apocalypse scenario with Honey Select or Play Home characters, so it was a nice change, this one could have been a very nice addition to the many others out there, but then again it all comes down to your interest in carrying on with the game, or just letting it die.

 

[Mar5hall]

yeah man i agree...i keep buggin you about this cause it's in the top few of my "I can't wait til the next version comes out" list.
think of the biggest rock bands ever...it may seem like they made a record and BAM became huge. nah. they we small time..struggling...homeless even. they got booed off stage and went to hell and back many times before they got big. it took time, hard work, patience, dedi-fuckin-cation, etc. But guess what.....you already have people wanting your game. Think of ALL the people avoiding !st and second only versions. Like probably most people that play these games. All who know better than to risk being in my shoes with your game. who wants one taste only of something good? nobody. who wants to want something they will never get? nobody.
look..if your heart isn't into it....no passion left....then fair enough. but if it's something you want to do.....a story you want to tell and illustrate...then fuckin do it...like those above said...don't let the fact that you weren't an overnight success destroy what you love doing.
I'm one of those...as I call it...."I joined for the fappening, but stayed for the stories." man there is a lot of shit just on this forum. your demo or whatever you call it...is not shit. And if you are comparing your game to others (not saying you are but just in case) wateve your favorite song of all time is....do a google or youtube search for "<title of song> + demo". or some similar wording. then listen to the garbage it was. (in relation to what it became.) So yeah...keep fucking working on it. (if you want lol)

anyway...I've gone past the point of sounding like i'm begging. NOT my intention.lol i just have a habit of over-explaining things because i have adhd. it's how we roll
cheers

 

[Johnnycape]

While I am disappointed that you will likely abandon this game, I understand that it's your choice as the dev.

In line with some of what others have said though, if you become known as a dev who abandons their games, they will never reach popularity. People will avoid them because they will assume they will never get to finish it.

My advice would be finish what you start, you will never achieve popularity with a tech demo. If, on the other hand, you are only making games to achieve some form of fame or popularity, I'll save you some time, stop now, you will get nowhere. Your stories will lack cohesion and emotion because you're not writing for yourself, you're writing for what's trendy or popular.

This got preachy'er than I meant, bottom line, stop worrying about what other people think of your game, there will always be people who don't like it, and more of them will be likely to create posts than those who like it. This is art, don't do it for others, do it for yourself.

(edited for spelling and grammar [and I'm sure there are still some errors lol])

 

[redhawk13]

nothing exists for any of the links

 

[firelord112]

I really like your game.
Is there going to be an update?

 

[Dan123]

Are you still working on this my man?

 

[Dan123]

Are you still working on this my man?

I'm guessing that's a no...