We find ourselves in the milky way galaxy, specifically... the solar system. More specifically... planet earth. Our reviewer and player, iron4doves, visits a webpage called F95zone and initiates the download of a multi-gigabyte game. The game's name is Unlimited Pleasure. Iron4Doves has no idea what to expect, and he moves on to other tasks while the game downloads.
He decides he needs to do laundry. He walks over to his laundry basket and carries it into the washroom. He opens the washing machine and places his dirty clothing inside. After depositing the required amount of detergent, he selects the cycle type and begins the washing procedure. He carries his laundry basket back into his room.
Only 10 minutes have gone by, not enough. He decides he could really do with a meal, and so he makes his way to the kitchen. Leftover Mexican food from last night's engagement will do nicely. He removes the food container from the fridge and places it in the microwave, setting it for 2 minutes. He opens a nearby cupboard and finds a cup. He walks back to the fridge and fills the cup with ice and water. He checks his phone while he is waiting for the microwave to finish, and notices a text from his friend wishing him a happy new year. What a guy that friend is, always thinking of others. The microwave interrupts iron4doves' thoughts with a harsh beep, alerting him that the food is done. He takes the food out of the microwave and carries it to the dining room table.
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Alright I cant keep this shit up. Dev, if you're reading this, the feelings you get from the above portions of my review are the feelings I get from the paragraphs upon paragraphs of SUPER MEGA IMPORTANT LORE INFORMATION that your game shoves down players' throats. This game is just text and text and text and text and text like holy shit, get on with it! No one needs that! I sure as hell don't need an explanation of how the earth formed in an intro sequence, fucking hell lmao.
The beautiful thing about games is you don't need to explain shit to a player, you can let them experience it. You don't need to tell me every fucking detail there is to know about my mom (right before she is removed from the game, making all of that completely useless), you can let me talk to her. Hell, you even do that too! You make me read in some BS "insight UI" that her biggest flaw is gambling, and then the next dialog with her explains that she sold her watches to gamble! That second piece is brilliant! I experienced that she has a gambling problem! It wasn't forced down my throat like preparation for an exam...
I am going to link a humorous but insightful video about game design made over 10 years ago. Give it a watch. You'll probably laugh but hopefully come away understanding that all this text and explanations of convoluted mechanics are so inherently bad vs the many other options available to game developers. It's 2022 now. We can do better.
He decides he needs to do laundry. He walks over to his laundry basket and carries it into the washroom. He opens the washing machine and places his dirty clothing inside. After depositing the required amount of detergent, he selects the cycle type and begins the washing procedure. He carries his laundry basket back into his room.
Only 10 minutes have gone by, not enough. He decides he could really do with a meal, and so he makes his way to the kitchen. Leftover Mexican food from last night's engagement will do nicely. He removes the food container from the fridge and places it in the microwave, setting it for 2 minutes. He opens a nearby cupboard and finds a cup. He walks back to the fridge and fills the cup with ice and water. He checks his phone while he is waiting for the microwave to finish, and notices a text from his friend wishing him a happy new year. What a guy that friend is, always thinking of others. The microwave interrupts iron4doves' thoughts with a harsh beep, alerting him that the food is done. He takes the food out of the microwave and carries it to the dining room table.
---
Alright I cant keep this shit up. Dev, if you're reading this, the feelings you get from the above portions of my review are the feelings I get from the paragraphs upon paragraphs of SUPER MEGA IMPORTANT LORE INFORMATION that your game shoves down players' throats. This game is just text and text and text and text and text like holy shit, get on with it! No one needs that! I sure as hell don't need an explanation of how the earth formed in an intro sequence, fucking hell lmao.
The beautiful thing about games is you don't need to explain shit to a player, you can let them experience it. You don't need to tell me every fucking detail there is to know about my mom (right before she is removed from the game, making all of that completely useless), you can let me talk to her. Hell, you even do that too! You make me read in some BS "insight UI" that her biggest flaw is gambling, and then the next dialog with her explains that she sold her watches to gamble! That second piece is brilliant! I experienced that she has a gambling problem! It wasn't forced down my throat like preparation for an exam...
I am going to link a humorous but insightful video about game design made over 10 years ago. Give it a watch. You'll probably laugh but hopefully come away understanding that all this text and explanations of convoluted mechanics are so inherently bad vs the many other options available to game developers. It's 2022 now. We can do better.
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