Unlimited Clichés v0.3.63
It's been a minute since I've done any reviews, so I apologize for any possible issues arising from that fact. Anyway... let's get stuck in! Starting with story!!
Story 2/5.
Can we really call this a story? In my opinion it's more of a collective documentation of all the cliches in porn. Join me as we play bingo cliché!
Okay, so let's look:
1) breast size: I'm not someone who thinks flat is justice! I like something I can hold, ya'know? However, most of the female's tit's in this game have their own gravitational pull! Tit's so big they put Annie Hawkins-Turner's 48V melons to shame! I like big tits, don't get me wrong, but they're, dare I say... TOO BIG!
2) Virgin/egotistical mc
Ah yes a MC who hasn't had a crumb of pussy in his life... poor sod. One of the first, 'spicy' scenes involves the MC and his mum (Incest patch... yes, I'm a degenerate) The mum is drunk and the MC tries to 'prevent' her from having sex with him, however, all he does is take his member out and turn away... As if that's gonna do diddly squat! The MC is the kind of person anyone with a IQ over 50 is scared of being. He could be described as a retard on retard enhancing pills! Getting mad, 'Nice guy's finish last' vibes from this delegate!
3) Cock size.
No game is complete without a MC with a 14 inch'er. Of course, the second the mother see's the cock, she's like "Wow, you're so big... LET ME TASTE YOUR SMEGMA!!!".
4) English, Engrish.
More about this later!
5) Honey Select.
I have nothing wrong with honey select... I promise!
The game's models could have really been improved on IMO. They're just so bland and generic, hard to fap to the same thing all the time you know?
Anyone got a bingo yet? Oh well... We push on!
6) Aunt...
Of course, the MC's "First love" was his aunt, his very busty Aunt: I don't know how he managed to distinguish the characters to even have a favourite.
You get my points...
This game is horribly cliche!
English 1/5. Wtf?!
Ughhhh, man... the god damn ENGIRSH! It's like watching a shitty fan sub of an anime! At this point, Engrish should be recognised as its own language! it seems more people speak it than actual English! Anyway, I digress, the game's spelling and simple grammar mistakes are a pain. Now, I'm a bit of a grammar nazi... despite having deplorable grammar myself. It is really really annoying when the game makes simple mistakes. Take this sentence for example, "Who do you think I'm". Now, the use of I'm in this sentence is wrong. You may say, 'Yea, but I'm is just a retraction of I am, and thus can be overlooked.'.. No! The sentence does not make sense what so ever! All the dev had to do was chance it to I am! That's all!!!!
I've seen worse English in game's, so I've decided to give the rating +1!
CG/Art: 3/5.
Just the same old art that we've seen all before. While it's honestly not bad... it's not something to be proud of. The render of pre-cum during the first spicy scene had me in tears!!
Animations 2/5.
This is what pisses me off the most!! When a game's animations are the epitome of 20 fps trash! Just a dumpster fire. You can't just slack on animations! Animations are the bread and butter of your game, the tit's and pussy, if you will. EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I WENT LIMP UPON SEEING THESE ANIMATIONS!!
Final thought's:
Well, that's wasn't my best review! Very, very passive aggressive. I think this game could be something good. It really ,really, really need's a proper story. If animations suck and the story sucks, what's the point?
My recommendations to Mr Waif:
Get reading Boy'o, you're gonna need to think of some good concept for a story. Also, if you're reading, perhaps you could re-read your script and edit silly mistakes. We all make mistakes: I'll tell you a secret, when I was in high school I made a stupid fucking blunder on my English test and forgot to paragraph properly... This lead to me losing 3 marks... this lead to me being 1 mark of the highest grade! I was so stupid!! To think, I'd written a story a decent one at that and all it took was a formatting mistake... In that moment I felt much like your MC, retarded.
This is God3333, going back to Latest Updates to try to find some good wank material!
I do wish you and your game the best!
TLDR:
2.5/5," Shitty, BUT LOOK AT 'DEM TITTIE'S!!!"