- Jun 13, 2017
- 20
- 13
Uploading smut I wrote
- Thread starter RekeesIatneh
- Start date
why wouldn't you post it here ? it may be interesting for some of us to read, you won't get 100% constructive feedback as there some inarticulate dindu, but I can guarantee you will get feedback if it spark some interest.
I never had a bad experience while publishing lengthy novels; just do it, don't bother asking.
I never had a bad experience while publishing lengthy novels; just do it, don't bother asking.
you have to cherry pick, distinguish the nonsense and the constructive criticism, don't be a snowflake, if you have a calling to create, do so, take feedback and improve, throw shit at the wall until it stick. do it for yourself, because you enjoy creating, nothing else matter.
I can tell you're not a native English speaker lol, but it's ok.
if you'd allow me some criticism I think from a narrative point of view, the character is too much in the description of what he's doing, let me set up an example:
"I'm pooring myself a cup of coffee, I savor the flavors" that kind of sentence feel awkward, because it's not how human behave and that's why you have a 3rd party, the narrator, that describe the scene
"he poured himself coffee, and savored the flavors" is a lot more sound.
also you're dictating a lot of moment to moment actions, and it make it hard to read sometimes because it lack flow.
that and repetition, not just the use of synonyms but an unnecessary emphasis on some point, once the reader have a mental picture of a specific character there's no need to remind us continuously of what he/she look like.
I don't know what kind of media this was meant for but it would be easier to navigate if we had some paragraphs ^^
maybe cut it all down in several chapters, or scenes, it would be a whole lot more digest
keep up the good work !
if you'd allow me some criticism I think from a narrative point of view, the character is too much in the description of what he's doing, let me set up an example:
"I'm pooring myself a cup of coffee, I savor the flavors" that kind of sentence feel awkward, because it's not how human behave and that's why you have a 3rd party, the narrator, that describe the scene
"he poured himself coffee, and savored the flavors" is a lot more sound.
also you're dictating a lot of moment to moment actions, and it make it hard to read sometimes because it lack flow.
that and repetition, not just the use of synonyms but an unnecessary emphasis on some point, once the reader have a mental picture of a specific character there's no need to remind us continuously of what he/she look like.
I don't know what kind of media this was meant for but it would be easier to navigate if we had some paragraphs ^^
maybe cut it all down in several chapters, or scenes, it would be a whole lot more digest
keep up the good work !
never stop writing, keep creating stories, keep using your imagination, a creative mind is the most valuable thing in the world <3