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VN Ren'Py Warzone [Demo v0.1] [Bonzo76]

4.00 star(s) 1 Vote
Discussion Reviews (1)
Bonzoman12

Bonzoman12

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Feb 22, 2020
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Cover.png

Overview:
In this story you play as a lieutenant in the military & your unit Alpha 1 are deployed as an unknown VIP has been taken hostage . Your mission is to rescue them and bring this person home. This won’t be an easy mission
I am new to creating a visual novel so still have a lot to learn. So I wanted to put this demo out and get some feed back.​

Thread Updated: 2025-11-04
Release Date: 2025-11-02
Developer: Bonzo76 -
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Censored: No
Version: Demo - 0.1
OS: Windows, Linux
Language: English
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Genre:
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ss-1.jpg ss-2.jpg ss-3.jpg ss-4.png ​
 
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rKnight

rKnight

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Jun 12, 2017
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Bob69 said:
You play as a lieutenant in the military and your unit "Alpha 1".
Click to expand...
Lieutenant: "This mission will be very dangerous. Tell me about your skills."
Dude: "Sir, I can shoot without a scope at 1000 feet."
Lieutenant: Impressive!

Girl: "Sir, I can stick a DICK in my mouth... and sing the national anthem..."
Lieutenant: "Patriotism like that turns me on." :LOL:


THX for sharing...
 
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SpyderArachnid

SpyderArachnid

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Jul 31, 2017
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Seems interesting, but there's some issues.

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Sorry for the wall of text, like I said, it seems interesting just needs to bake a lot longer first. No choices in this release, it is a demo, but it is a decent amount of content at least compared to other "demos" that get released here. It just needs a lot more polish first (thus the wall of text feedback).

Either way, best of luck with this and thanks. ;)
 
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OleJackRipper

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Mar 22, 2021
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Saw the tags and not the images because slow internet.
"Oh? Might be interesting!"

Images loaded
"Dammit! Art could be better....
 
DABOMB00

DABOMB00

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Apr 27, 2021
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SpyderArachnid said:
Seems interesting, but there's some issues.

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Sorry for the wall of text, like I said, it seems interesting just needs to bake a lot longer first. No choices in this release, it is a demo, but it is a decent amount of content at least compared to other "demos" that get released here. It just needs a lot more polish first (thus the wall of text feedback).

Either way, best of luck with this and thanks. ;)
Click to expand...
You said it quite well. "Rushed" was exactly the feeling i got while playing. Maybe its just because its a demo but if this is going to be a real game there needs to be more backstory. For example the mission. There were only few details but suddenly it "stinks"? And the whole deal with telling your doughter the second you get picked up over the phone that you are deployed again? No one does that. It would be more realistic to have a scene with breakfeast and its last second because the doughter has to go, but the MC is dragging his feet on the subject and finally starts talking and there is a fight and then the doughter leaves for school or whatever. Just more background on important parts of the story.

Then there were of course the minor details. I think you dont have any military background, but if you write in that setting it would be good to get some info on the lingo and the procedures, like listen to a podcast a documentary or scroll some reels you can get the hang of it pretty quickly. It was already said no military man would have bright orange hair. In my country unnatural colours are forbidden for military personel and i guess its like that in a lot of countrys. And why does Skye have a diffrent uniform? You can say that she is from another country and its a joint operation but there should be intel on that. And her uniform just looks like you slapped random words on it which have no meaning.

Another point, a military setting like that is ideal for some kind of prologue where you show some mission from back in their days or something like that which sets an bond for the characters in the unit and is a nice way to start a game in my opinion.

I hope all of this doesnt sound too harsh because it is really not meant like that and its just a demo after all. Creating a game and putting it out there alone is scary enough, so probs on creating something like that. The renders are nice and i think you got some potential in the story but since you asked for feedback i just thought ill share some of the thought i had.

Anyways i wish you the best of luck on your journey and the strenght to ignore every bit of negativity you may receive from internet people, because sometimes the internet just removes one or two filters too many.
 
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4.00 star(s) 1 Vote