I can talk about this from a dev perspective.
As said above, one of the most important things is a good game. But don’t think for a moment that’s enough. Yes, there are a few success stories of games that get overwhelming support overnight. But for most of us, new devs, it’s tough to just get noticed. I have a 4.9 rate over here and 4 at itch and fapnation, so I think that means people think that my game is relatively good. Regardless, 99% of people haven’t heard of it and my patreon isn’t particularly successful.
I think the most important thing it’s just time and slowly getting exposed to new players. Keep your vison of the game, keep making content, and make the most of the exposure you get after each new release during those 3 days you get in the 1st pages of the new updates list.
It probably also helps being recommended by other players in the many threads that are here for different kinks/type of games, etc. That’s something fans of a game sometimes overlook: you can help your favorite creators by just recommending their games to other players you think might enjoy them.
But all in all, it’s a slow grind and there’s not much one can do to speed it up. Just don’t come thinking it will be easy money or you’ll quickly get disappointed. Enjoy the ride and all the support and good comments you get and try not to think too much about money.
I’m not sure if I get your point. If anyone has a public link to their game on patreon, they are infringing Patreon's guidelines. Sure, they can have it for free in another website, but they can’t link it anywhere in patreon that’s not restricted behind a paywall. The idea is preventing any minor to ever get any +18 content on patreon. So, technically, no one is allowed to link to “the product” for free on patreon. If it is available in another website, you have to find it yourself. All of us that have free games linked there are a report away to be made to put them behind a paywall or gtfo.
But it gets more complicated than that. For example, looking at my itch.io analytics, I believe that games that have content behind a paywall get pushed by the algorithm. This is the graph of my daily views:
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Having 10-20x less daily views after going free hurts.