Why people like netorare

Lordroedor

Member
Mar 19, 2020
133
116
Not so long ago someone was saying in some conversation I had how stealing the woman from other man was exciting but being the guy who lost her was not, and that person said that this kink of netorare made no sense at all.

That made me think, why so many people find it exciting, me included. I wanted to know what you guys think, but I'd like to have a conversation too, so we can reply to each other. Sometimes in these threads people don't like to be replied. I think that, with good manners, we all can speak freely while answering each other.

I have my own theories but they are too long to explain I think. Basically, netorare is a complex game of power (which is the basis for most kinks) and implies strong emotions in a world increasinly desensitized.

What do you think?
 

MarshmallowCasserole

Active Member
Jun 7, 2018
573
1,452
Netorare is negative emotion thrill.

This isn't judgemental; while I don't like NTR (more on that later) I can enjoy a horror or a tragedy. Especially a tragedy. These are fundamentally not different. Fear, disgust, unease and dread, those are negative feelings and emotions. But in a comfy cinema chair it's a thrill, and people pay money to experience horror genre. Same with tragedy, it's by definition centered around suffering, and it is not a niche genre.

(Technically NTR is a subgenre of tragedy, I suppose)

However, negative emotions are called that for a reason. Anyone not seeking them as a thrill will have a negative reaction to any fiction that subjects them to it, so that's why it's so polarizing.

Now personally, I don't care about the emotional core of NTR one way or another, but man, the common tropes and cliches in the genre just fucking drive me up the wall, so on average it's bottom of the barrel stuff for me even before it gets to the "offensive" part.
 
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woody554

Well-Known Member
Jan 20, 2018
1,267
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it's a subcategory of masochism, enjoying being hurt in some way. which exists for all of us in some ways, like when you get bitten by a mosquito and can't stop scratching it. objectively it hurts, but at the same time there's some weird enjoyment which makes it difficult to stop scratching. similarly, crying hurts. but at the same time there's enjoyment, a release that makes you feel better. which is also connected to tragedy.

for most people it doesn't connect to sexual arousal, but for a very small group it does. why? well that's a more difficult question, and typical for all kinks. similarly to phobias it's very difficult to explain someone else why a certain kink gives you thrills and another one doesn't, but it just works that way. there's nothing intellectual about it nor is it a choice. it just happens to you.

and when a specific kink doesn't do it for you there's no direct way to fully grasp why someone else likes it so much. for some reason your body, your hormonal system, is triggered by the kink. and beyond that maybe there even isn't a further reason.