cool pov;
it's good enough for a start;
focus more on story; possibilities and limitations that you wanna put into choices.
There's a ton of games with awesome art but crappy storytellin'.
Too much text and game becomes boring; too much general lines, catchy phrases and story development becomes shallow and repulses reader/player from deeper investment.
Edit:
And don't wait/expect for other peoples confirmation. It's good to lend your ear from time to time what others say, but you as a creator should just do your thing and see how it turns out...even without others blowing wind into your sail.
It's alone alley, especially in the start!