I've noticed that the writing in games featured here often falls into a lot of "beginning writer" traps. I've included some advice below that might be interesting to you if you are writing a game, or if you are trying to improve the writing in your game. Feel free to add your own suggestions!
Disclaimer: This type of advice annoys some people, who consider it to be a list of "rules" about how to write. Instead, think of it as a mechanic's check list for detecting when things go wrong. Writing is tricky, and very subjective, and often what you write in your head isn't what the reader/player experiences. These tips/fixes can help align your expectations with what you produce.
Start the story when something interesting happens, not before
This could be a big event that starts off the story (e.g. a car crash, a break-up, etc), or something intriguing out of the ordinary that hints at an interesting story (character suspects someone is following him; character picks up wrong laptop by mistake)
Don't say "I'm a normal guy", "My life is boring and average" - this is boring, and we assume a character is normal until told otherwise! Just omit it.
Don't start with the character waking up in bed, or to the sound of an alarm clock or phone call. This is a huge cliche in all writing. Waking up in bed is not interesting.
- Exception to the rule: an event occurs in the morning (e.g.) the character is woken up by an explosion. Or, if morning routine is an insight into the character's situation - e.g. the character is a king, and his morning routine gives us an idea of his pampered life.
Motivation is everything
The set up/premise should give your character a clear goal, or goals. They need to know what they're doing!
Leave back story/world-building until it's relevant
Generally, readers will care about your world when they can identify with the character and care about their story.
Interest in characters doesn't come about through primarily through world-building or backstory. It occurs due to the events that the player participates in.
Wading through a long description of past events - family saga, the politics of a city, the history of a war - before I even know who the main character is, is a sure fire way to make me quit a game early.
Add world building in short doses when it's required.
A good story is a constructed series of interesting events, not any sort of attempt to describe reality
Don't write things that the player already knows! E.g. "she answered the door" over a picture of a character answering the door, "she kissed me" when that's happening, "she hates me" after a big argument.
Instead, add extra information, insight and depth. Character opens the door: "Was she expecting me?" Kiss: "She feels so warm and soft". After an argument: "My heart is pounding".
Or stay silent! Let the characters/visuals tell the story.
Players/readers like to work things out for themselves! If something is obvious, you don't need to say it!
A good rule of thumb here is the chatty friend thought experiment. Imagine you're playing the game with a very chatty friend. If a scene occurs and in your head the friend comments something (e.g. "Wow, she really hates him, huh") then you don't need to spell it out in the game.
The right set up makes the mundane interesting
Making a cup of coffee - boring, cut it.
Making a cup of coffee nervously while my crush watches - yes!
Making a cup of coffee methodically i shock after my father dies/I was just in a car crash - yes!
Making a cup of coffee while an alien babe who's never heard of coffee watches in fascination - yes!
Do not hesitate to remove anything bland
I sometimes play wordy games and often they could be improved by just cutting out a lot of unnecessary stuff. Try it - cut out the least interesting parts of your game and see how it improves.
To sum up:
With every line of dialog or action, you have the chance to engage/interest/intrigue/excite your players. Every time you deliver a line or action that fails to do that, you are losing them a little bit. Work out what's boring and either cut it, or adjust the situation/perspective so that it's interesting. Make every line count.
Disclaimer: This type of advice annoys some people, who consider it to be a list of "rules" about how to write. Instead, think of it as a mechanic's check list for detecting when things go wrong. Writing is tricky, and very subjective, and often what you write in your head isn't what the reader/player experiences. These tips/fixes can help align your expectations with what you produce.
Start the story when something interesting happens, not before
This could be a big event that starts off the story (e.g. a car crash, a break-up, etc), or something intriguing out of the ordinary that hints at an interesting story (character suspects someone is following him; character picks up wrong laptop by mistake)
Don't say "I'm a normal guy", "My life is boring and average" - this is boring, and we assume a character is normal until told otherwise! Just omit it.
Don't start with the character waking up in bed, or to the sound of an alarm clock or phone call. This is a huge cliche in all writing. Waking up in bed is not interesting.
- Exception to the rule: an event occurs in the morning (e.g.) the character is woken up by an explosion. Or, if morning routine is an insight into the character's situation - e.g. the character is a king, and his morning routine gives us an idea of his pampered life.
Motivation is everything
The set up/premise should give your character a clear goal, or goals. They need to know what they're doing!
Leave back story/world-building until it's relevant
Generally, readers will care about your world when they can identify with the character and care about their story.
Interest in characters doesn't come about through primarily through world-building or backstory. It occurs due to the events that the player participates in.
Wading through a long description of past events - family saga, the politics of a city, the history of a war - before I even know who the main character is, is a sure fire way to make me quit a game early.
Add world building in short doses when it's required.
A good story is a constructed series of interesting events, not any sort of attempt to describe reality
Don't write things that the player already knows! E.g. "she answered the door" over a picture of a character answering the door, "she kissed me" when that's happening, "she hates me" after a big argument.
Instead, add extra information, insight and depth. Character opens the door: "Was she expecting me?" Kiss: "She feels so warm and soft". After an argument: "My heart is pounding".
Or stay silent! Let the characters/visuals tell the story.
Players/readers like to work things out for themselves! If something is obvious, you don't need to say it!
A good rule of thumb here is the chatty friend thought experiment. Imagine you're playing the game with a very chatty friend. If a scene occurs and in your head the friend comments something (e.g. "Wow, she really hates him, huh") then you don't need to spell it out in the game.
The right set up makes the mundane interesting
Making a cup of coffee - boring, cut it.
Making a cup of coffee nervously while my crush watches - yes!
Making a cup of coffee methodically i shock after my father dies/I was just in a car crash - yes!
Making a cup of coffee while an alien babe who's never heard of coffee watches in fascination - yes!
Do not hesitate to remove anything bland
I sometimes play wordy games and often they could be improved by just cutting out a lot of unnecessary stuff. Try it - cut out the least interesting parts of your game and see how it improves.
To sum up:
With every line of dialog or action, you have the chance to engage/interest/intrigue/excite your players. Every time you deliver a line or action that fails to do that, you are losing them a little bit. Work out what's boring and either cut it, or adjust the situation/perspective so that it's interesting. Make every line count.
