Ren'Py You need a FAP Break, I need some feedback :)

[obsessionau]

Hi,

I am looking for feedback on my VN.

You are a broke out of work IT person and you have found yourself working for a high profile fashion magazine called Sculptured.
The majority of this story takes place in and around the office of this magazine as you try and fit into a culture where you don't belong.

The download for the first 4 days is here:

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Currently it reads as a VN but I would like to introduce character advancement a bit like Mythic Manor.

How do people go about developing multiple paths and timelines... do you have some sort of flowchart you use with all the different scenes mapped out on it.

EDIT: Modified this post to hopefully make it sound a bit more interesting than my original post

 

[Silver]

I think it's a very generic story. I feel like you should ask from people here to see what they really want. the problems in nowadays is developers come up with stories that people are not really interested in it, that's why there are a lot of the junk games in latest updates. some copies famous games and try to earn a fortune instead of doing something unique.

 

[Zippity]

Sounds a bit similar to some other office setups I've seen already in other VN/Games... Depending on your actual goals for your project, I would recommend thinking outside the box and being a bit more creative, otherwise you risk just be considered more of the same ole same ole... Rather then being it's own unique thing...

If you're not ready to write out the entire story and add in multiple story lines ahead of time, you could always just make an outline... Outline the main story line and sub story lines with just the basic details, like character details, basic plot lines, basic events and scenes, basic choices, and the list goes on... That way you have a plan laid out prior to beginning the more detailed aspects... You can fill in the gaps as you progress with story text, dialogue/monologue and so forth, based on the outline... Think of the outline as a map...

Some folks like to write out the entire story ahead of time, to include all the dialogue/monologue and choices... This allows you to plan ahead and work out some of the concepts and ideas to ensure continuity and so forth... They can alter stuff later if need be, but at least a big step has already been done towards development... Leaving the more time consuming pieces remaining to be worked out...

Some folks like to wing it from the beginning to the end with only a basic up front concept... Problem with this is that it will be harder to go back and make changes to prior content, if suddenly you run into a snag later and need to revamp a bunch of prior story in order to fit in with you changes and/or new ideas... Plus you run a higher risk of pacing issues and story/plot continuity...

Some folks like to story board, which is in essence like doing an outline, but you also work out the very basics of visual setups, in order to best plan out camera angles and character setups in each picture/scene/event... You don't need to be a good artist to story board... Some folks may just use stick figures, as all your doing is planning ahead and ensuring continuity...

As to Ren'py, depending on your coding skills, there is a lot of room for customization... It is rather flexible, depending on what you want to accomplish... Every Engine has it's limitations and needed skill set...

Every developer seems to use their own basic planning structure... It's best to work out something that you feel works for you... Because not every method other developers use will necessarily work for you... I personally would always recommend doing some form of pre-planning... And I would recommend not letting other folks sway your creative process, as many of the times, it just leads to poorly made products... Having paying fans is nice, but allowing them too much creative control rarely improves a product for general public consumption... It only makes those few paying fans temporarily happy...

Zip

 

[obsessionau]

Thank you for the comments so far!

This is interesting as to be honest I haven't seen many VN's set mainly in an office, at least when you compare it to family home, school based or even supernatural stories. But I will certainly take what you say onboard.

Hopefully it is just my quick simple description that does make it sound so generic. Currently the boss does not feature at all in the story really, and it is about you getting to know the other staff and the relationships that come from that.

I will certainly look at developing the outline a lot more now that I have had a chance to experiment a bit. It is hard to be creative when you do not know what you do not know.

Cheers!

 

[Daba]

If you are making adult VN, I think you should start with question what type of relationship between characters will be. Guy romancing cute girl in next office need different story from a guy that is trying to fuck different girl every night & so on.

 

[obsessionau]

Definitely agree Daba,

Having an intimate relationship develop simply because you did not walk into their bedroom/toilet without knocking is not the path I want to go down.

The paces of the relationships with each of the girls will vary due to their respective backgrounds so for a couple of the girls it does not take long to become attracted to you, other girls take a lot longer. This is also separate from sex, in the above story you have sex with Candice relatively quickly, however it is a meaningless one night stand, likely just to annoy Lexi. There are a couple more events that happen before Candice does really fall for you.