[S> Other] [R>Artist 3D] [S>Artist 3D] Young female hentai Anime inspired Book Writer LF Comic or Anime Animator
- Thread starter Sireldoom
- Start date
i think they are worthy to be publicly shown 
Hmm, I could only quickly glance through all this due to the lack of formatting, so this is just a quick opinion on it.
I think there is a market for the subject matter, it is pretty titillating. It is absurd, but it's the right kind of absurd for porn, so that's good.
I feel like I was reading Darkness from KonoSuba's daydream. Quite amusing.
This is just personal taste, but I think it would be a lot more arousing if the protagonist was a virgin. There's a lot more tension if her first time is at risk while going through all the abuse.
I wouldn't really worry about proper grammar and spell check, however, please use commas and spaces to break up the sentences.
The lack of detailed description is fine as long as whoever decides to work on it can fill in the blanks themselves. I like that you added your own thoughts into some of the sentences, more of those would help a lot.
It seems this is written by a female? That's good, it adds to the experience when the protagonist is female as well.
From what I've read and understand, this is probably best adopted as a comic or VN. A lot of the actions are difficult to animate, 2D or 3D.
So, yeah I like it, but please, please, please format it. If someone wants to make something out of it, they will need character profiles and such. There's not enough description for any of the characters, especially the people assigned to the protagonist.
Good luck!
I think there is a market for the subject matter, it is pretty titillating. It is absurd, but it's the right kind of absurd for porn, so that's good.
I feel like I was reading Darkness from KonoSuba's daydream. Quite amusing.
This is just personal taste, but I think it would be a lot more arousing if the protagonist was a virgin. There's a lot more tension if her first time is at risk while going through all the abuse.
I wouldn't really worry about proper grammar and spell check, however, please use commas and spaces to break up the sentences.
The lack of detailed description is fine as long as whoever decides to work on it can fill in the blanks themselves. I like that you added your own thoughts into some of the sentences, more of those would help a lot.
It seems this is written by a female? That's good, it adds to the experience when the protagonist is female as well.
From what I've read and understand, this is probably best adopted as a comic or VN. A lot of the actions are difficult to animate, 2D or 3D.
So, yeah I like it, but please, please, please format it. If someone wants to make something out of it, they will need character profiles and such. There's not enough description for any of the characters, especially the people assigned to the protagonist.
Good luck!
- Mar 23, 2020
- 72
- 78
i formated it here is 2.5 chapters
View attachment 3 Chapters 3rd not ready yet.rar
View attachment 3 Chapters 3rd not ready yet.rar